Why do people feel it is important to have contact with family members just because they are 'family'?

Question

Even in situations where spending time with the family member (especially parents here) causes emotional upset and stress to you?

Answer 1

Most people are brought up to respect their family members in such a way as by doing so they feel they have to stay in contact with them, however this isn't always a healthy and fulfilling practice.
Sometimes if a person causes emotional and sometimes even physical stress to you maybe then you know it is the time to break that cycle and live your life independantly of that person.
Society promotes constantly how family is the be all and end all of life, well sometimes society is wrong, do we have to become a messed up psychologically damaged race just because it has always been that way, I dont think so.

Answer 2

As the saying goes Blood is thicker than water. That usually goes for family but doesn't mean it is always the case. The bond I have with my children I could never break. However, that doesn't mean we always see eye to eye. Contact with distant family members as in from cousins outwards gets less and less. Usually if you are friendly with a second or third cousin it really is more of someone you really like and had become more a friend than family. Sad if you don't feel your parents are important to you. In very rare cases parents do wrong against their children but most times rightly or wrongly what they say/do is because of the love they have and are doing it to try and help. My daughter who is well grown up was really acting like a spoilt child over a trivial matter and I told her instead of all the tantrums and tears she should be realising how fortunate she is that she is not seriously ill, starving etc. Although it hasn't caused a major fall out I know she hasn't forgiven me. The point I am making is that if she behaved liked that in front of most of her friends, they would probably not say to her but express their disgust amongst themselves. Sometimes what a parents says hurts but are really trying to save you from a situation because they actually love you so much. I have nothing to be proud of as I had many a fall out with my mum and often not nice to her. However, she in my opinion was always in the wrong. Now years later, even before she died 16 years ago I see the difficult teenager I was although nothing would have convinced me at the time. Therefore give some serious thought before you decide to abandon your parents, you could well live to regretit.

Answer 3

I think its stupid. I try my best to not be around certain family members, or stay on the other side of the family gathering. It drives me crazy how some of my family spends time with each other, even when they can't stand each other. Do people need to be accepted so badly that they'll take abuse just to get attention? Its sad.
I know generations past it was a huge deal to "keep up apperances" and to do things "for the family". My Mom even made the comment at my Grandfather's funeral that she no longer would have to put in an appearance anymore because so much of the older family was now dead. There were even several groups at his funeral because certain family didn't want to be in the same room with each other. Its 1 tradition that I refuse to pass to my kids.

Answer 4

It all depends on the situation. My husband and I have family members we don't talk to. They became too "toxic" in our life, always causing problems and drama and saying bad things even to our kids. I have no need for someone like that just because I am related. My husband has a saying "if someone brings you more pain than pleasure than why are you around them?" People should earn your respect/trust. His father left when he was 5, never was there growing up, yet he expects us to be all friendly when we meet up. I do keep in contact with my mother though, even though she annoys me and stresses me out, because she did a lot for me growing up and has showed that when I really need someone she will be there. But I have no use for family that does nothing but cause problems and look for handouts but when you need something they can't be bothered. I am much closer to some friends and their kids than I am to some nieces and nephews, but hey you get to choose your friends!

Answer 5

When they're dead they're gone forever and you can not live back what you lost.
Family is what helps you grow to become who you. Contact is just away of knowing there safe and a sign of affection to wish them well.
Yeah, we all get upset and stressed at times but isn't that what a family's about. Going through the highs and lows of life?

Answer 6

Because they are family, and one day you could need their help, friends come and go but family is always there for you. If the situation is too stressful there are places that offer re-conciliation therapy, which can be very helpful to some people.

Answer 7

Maybe because from your born until now, you are always with your family. Because your family is just one in this world. Think of this : You can find a new friend if you are separated with your friends, you can find a new love if you break up with your beloved one, but you cannot find a new "pure" family in this world, the family where you have "the same blood as" them.

Answer 8

I think it's because, especially as we grow older, we realize that our parents won't always be around. We don't want any regrets of not spending time with them when we had the chance. My parents are really getting up there in age, and due to my work schedule I find it hard to find the time to visit like I should. Luckily I have great parents who have been loving and supportive of me. I enjoy spending time with them when I can and I hope they understand that I can't spend as much as I'd like. I urge you to try and "mend the fences" with your parents while you can so you will have no regrets later in life. I wish you much luck.

Answer 9

It all depends...if the emotional stress is manifested in order to get rid of people or is a real issue. Either way, it's proper to deal with it before one allows societal belief to divide family. *Relationships require work and truthfulness along with understanding.*

Answer 10

I dont understand this either...

I dont get on with my family. No special reason why. They are just not MY kind of people... Think I must be some sort of throwback or runt or something... I hate visiting them, even though I do for their benefit, but am always struck with just out 'out of place' I feel...

My sisters both are very family focussed and cant believe I'm not.... Even my wife thinks I'm joking when I say I dont like seeing my family...

It is ok not to like your family, I say.... They are just people and we cant like them all....