My fiancee and I are getting married in July but he has seemed a bit off with me recently. I have spoken to him and he said nothing is wrong but i've got this horrible feeling something is up. I asked him if he would like to postpone the wedding (If he said yes I think he wouldn't really want to get married.) He said he doesnt and everything is OK.
What can I do? Im really worried.
2007-03-27 23:04:18 · 37 answers · asked by Sarah X 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
We have been together for 4 years and been engaged for 3 of them, Yes we are young, we are both 21. He was my first serious boyfriend.
Its weird though because he is desperate to have children, he is ALWAYS talking about it so that makes me even more confused.
It def isnt money worries as my parents have been kind enough to do it the traditional way and pay for the wedding.
2007-03-27 23:12:49 · update #1
Hi - when I got married in Aug last year, the few months leading up to it my hubby and I fought like HELL! Like real stand up rows, which we've never done before in our 8 year relationship. A marriage puts a big strain on people - its not just 1 day with a big party etc, its a lifelong committment and hes probably just realising this. My hubby was EXACTLY the same. Just leave him to his own thoughts for a bit and be there when he wants to share. Good luck xx
2007-03-28 02:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by Secret Squirrel 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. Take a step back and examine your own behaviors. Usually around this time in the wedding planning, brides are becoming a little (okay, a lot) stressed and emotional. Maybe even a little bridezilla-ish. He could very well be reacting to you, perhaps pulling back a little so that he doesn't trigger an undesirable reaction.
And don't forget that he's stressed too. Getting married is a big step, and he needs to prepare for it emotionally, just like you do.
Also, has he been included in the wedding planning itself? I've seen some brides who did it all and the groom got no say because it was "the bride's day." Well, those grooms saw that as a reflection of the rest of their lives, with the women planning everything for them and just expecting them to show up.
2007-03-28 02:56:24 · answer #2 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is just nerves. I think that he can see the wedding ahead and it is just dwelling on him that it is soon to come. He may just be showing excitement in a different way. You have both been together for a long time and if he was not serious you would not of lasted this long time.
May sure that you include him in plans and preparations for the wedding. It could be other things like money, or his future plans might change. So always be on hand to talk to him, because this is the beginning of his new life so just be therefor him.
2007-03-27 23:51:07 · answer #3 · answered by yasmineloy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes men do distance themselves a little emotionally, that's perfectly normal male behaviour. If he says there is nothing wrong then trust him on that, let him come to you when he is ready, nothing irritates more than a person asking you if you are OK all the time, so don't ask anymore. He is probably just a little tense as the date is approaching, you have given him a chance to cancel and he says he does not want to, why is that not a good enough explanation for you? I know it is totally tacky, but read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus", it doesn't always apply, but does explain male behaviour patterns and how to deal with situations where the man has distanced himself etc....
2007-03-27 23:37:00 · answer #4 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hes probably just nervous remember ur both only 21 and Im sure all his buddies are tryn to talk him out of it, trust me my fiance & I are 24 & 25 and all of his buddies keep telling him hes too young to be tied down to 1 woman, just make him feel secure about what ur getting into, let him know that nothings gonna change after the wedding, ur still gonna be the same u. If he said everything is ok dont worry he just has 10 hundred things on his mind, take him to his favorit resturant this weekend and talk things over together...
P.S. you may also just be so nervious about everything that u may be stessing him out ...
2007-03-28 00:58:50 · answer #5 · answered by KelLzZz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my bloke was like this he never took any interest in any plans he did not really have the time for it and seemed like it was my idea when it was not,i kept asking if this is the right thing he was all for it but something still did not seem right sowe had a good chat,he thought things would change in our relationship.we got married and he told me he was very nervous as the day got nearer it may just be nerves as you are young and he might feel a bit shell shocked that hes commited so young,i suggest you make a nice meal and go through this with him see what the reaction is tell him your concerns and dont want him to feel he has to do this ecause its booked as there is time to prospone if he felt better.hope everything works out for you,best of luck.xx
2007-03-27 23:24:44 · answer #6 · answered by easty90210 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Always trust your instincts!!!
If you have a gut feeling that there is something wrong then there is.
Organise a night where the two of you are alone, cook a meal for him, sit down and over dinner and a glass of wine gently probe to find out what is wrong. Dont accuse him of not wanting to get married, that will just make him jump on the defence.
2007-03-27 23:10:57 · answer #7 · answered by Peaches 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would put the wedding off till this gets sorted. I don't think this is the way a marriage should start. Please sort it before the wedding! you need to tell him that you're really worried by the way he's acting and get him to open up to you. If he really wants to marry you he'll know you're serious about postponing the wedding and will want to get it sorted.
2007-03-27 23:44:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should stick to your gut feeling. I mean the fact that you are worrying about marrying him shows me that there is something wrong. You need to tell him how you are feeling because comunication is one of the most important elements in a relationship. Also you should arrange with him to go to premarital counciling which helps couples before they get married.
I wish you and your fiancee all the best with your relationship and remember to stick to your feelings.
Regards
Ella B
2007-03-27 23:19:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and get his best man to have a quiet discreet word with him to see what the problem is and maybe tell you if it is serious. After all it is a big day and a few months to go before the day he could be looking at finances, things that still need doing, even dreading his stag do.
Don't worry too much, you may be influencing him.
2007-03-27 23:15:18 · answer #10 · answered by Kevan M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋