Grandmother has weird places she tickles daughter?

Question

I put my daughter in thetub today and noticed that she when we play tickle,she was covering her privates (as if I were going to tickle her there)..my mother in law was the last person that bathed her...I also oticed last time shewastickling my daughter..it was around her privates.This makes me uncomfortable; there are many other areas she can tickle her in...and my daughter doesn't know any better..she just thinks grammy's playing with her...What do I do?What's the best way to tell mother in law we don't touch daughter there unless we're bathing her..and NOONe touches her there otherwise except the doctor and I ?

Answer 1

Oh my friend! I dont even know what to tell you.
One thing for sure, WATCH your mother-in-law when she is around your daughter. Because if you see her doing it... you can tell her right there.
Another good aproach is to ask your daughter "Where did grandma tickled you?"

And the most important: Child abuse HOT LINE.
Dont let this happen again.
Its not uncomon for Grandparents to "touch" their grandkids, and you dont want your baby's life to be destroyed .

Answer 2

Well, I do agree she needs to stay away from the privates. But let me tell you that a lot of grand parents like to tickle the chunky part of the leg near the bottom and close to the the privates, because a lot of people are very ticklelish there, and for some it causes sexual arousal as the there are more nerve endings there. She may not even realize what she is doing. Just tell her gently that you are uncomfortable about where she is tickling her. I had to tell my father in law and he stopped immiediatley and told me that he did not realize how close he was getting to the private area. He has not done this sense and has apologized to me over and over again. It was my son he was doing this way.

Sometimes though, it is a case of child molestation and it does need to be monitored. I monitored my father in law for a long time. He went over board and stopped tickling at all for a while. Then he evened out and became the fun grampa again.

So approah her, and also watch to make sure that it stops. I don't know her personality so I can't tell you how she will take this, but you do need to discuss it with her.

Answer 3

How old is she? One way you can tell with a child (especially age 2 and over) is to have them pretend to do what grandma does...on you. This is usually a good indicator of what's going on. I tickle my son just below his butt, he's super ticklish there, so he covers his butt when he runs up the stairs so I don't tickle him...I guess that could be misconstrued if someone didn't know. It's a hard situation to get around without sounding accusing. Just keep a close eye on grandma and if you notice anything suspicious report it immediately and end all contact.

Answer 4

I don't know how old your daughter is, but mine is 20 months and she has her hands on her privates the entire time she's in the bath...I guess once the diaper is off she's making up for lost time. I'm the only one who bathes or changes her so I know nothing odd's been done to her.

I think you may have misinterpreted the situation...but just to be on the safe side, why don't you make a "no tickling in the bath" rule? I wouldn't play tickle with my kids in the bath for fear that they'd slip and breathe in water while laughing.

Answer 5

This is utterly unacceptable. Tell Grandma so outright. Whether or not Grandma has sinister intentions, she shouldn't be touching your daughter there period. even if she's "just playing" or "doesn't mean anything by it" it will effect your daughter and if she might start to think that it's acceptable for other people to touch her there because grandma does it.

Best way to solve the problem, talk to Grandma tell her outright that it's not acceptable and more importantly don't let grandma hang out with your daugher unsupervised and definately don't let grandma bathe her.

My father in law was a sexual predator, it was years ago, he's done his time, been through counciling all of that and he never hurt any of his kids, but my spouse and I have agreed that Grandpa will never be alone w/ our kids or babysit them EVER and if he ever does anything remotely resembling something of that nature... wham.. no more visits period. Your child's safety and mental/spiritual/emotional health are paramount. and definately worth stepping on a few toes.

Answer 6

Before you start accusing someone of doing something wrong to your child be sure they are. You didn't say how old your child was, but young children are all about their privates when their diapers come off. My 18 month old acts like he has magants down there and in his hands. It is natural for them to investigate down there.

But if you want to be safer then sorry, then just don't allow any one but yourself and your significant other bathe your daughter.

Answer 7

My sister has a 3 yrs old daughter too and she told me the same problem and she was about to blame daddy. tho he would never do something like that ( i hope! ) she kept her eyes on him and her together but nothing really happens so she does that in the bathtub sometimes cos she cannot hold her pee when she laughs hard in warm water. it makes sense and you can confront her even its gonna be hard since she is so young.

Answer 8

I would not let my mother in law bath my child unless I gave her a quick talk about bounderies and appropriate behavior.

Answer 9

wow. all your questions sound like you and your kids need to take a permanent vacation away from your in-laws! i really hope nothing bad is happening to your daughter!

do what you feel is right. a mother always knows whats best for her children.

Answer 10

supervise next time she baths her to see if you can catch her doing it and then say something, if you dont see her do it then you might end up blaming for something that shes not doing. if she is tell her how unappropriate it is and that you dont want her doing it ever again.