ok me and my partner have been together for 2 years and he hasn't let me meet his children. shouldn't he be letting me? and when he talks to me on the phone and they ask who it is, he calls me a friend.
what should i tell him to make him understand to let me see them. he wont listen to me
2007-03-27 22:47:39 · 24 answers · asked by cleo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think I understand what's going on here:
He is afraid his children will tell his wife about their dads "friend"
2007-03-27 22:50:08 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard on a person when their partner keeps something as important as kids out of their life. But it is even worse on a kid to get emotionally attached to someone as a parent and then lose them. Kids don't understand relationships like adults do, you can't explain to them that you just don't see a future with this guy, or aren't sexually satisfied, or are interested in somebody else, or any of the other myriad of reasons people break up because kids just don't get it. To them it's just one more person abandoning them.
It could also be true that he is married, but that is your call to make, from your own experience. If you don't think he is, then he is probably just trying to do right by his kids.
You should talk to him about it, and if you have, what is his reason for not letting you meet them?
2007-03-28 06:00:19 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your partner is not so wrong about this matter !!
My husband also didn't want me to meat his little daughter before he was not absolutely sure about our relationship and where it is going to...
simply b/c he thought the fact that her mum and dad are not together any more is hard enough and to meat every g/f or b/f of her parents is additionally stressful and not necessary.
Besides, children do get attached to new partners of their parents (in time). In case the relationship doesn't last ... this person is gone, most likely forever .. new stress !
Another thing ! Why "hurry" to meet them ?
To get importance ? To get the proof that you are the one ?
OK,... but on the other hand ... children are a big obligation, children from first marriage are sometimes even a bigger obligation !
Enjoy the time while you have him for yourself, when children enter the picture ... (his and yours)... you will wish for it !!! (which doesn't make you a bad person).
2007-03-28 06:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by GBH 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...that's rather odd! I hate to sound crude....But, are you sure that he's single? Sounds like he may not be. I dated a guy like that when I was younger, he told me he was single. Even brought one of his children to see me....but never would bring the oldest child, which I thought was rather odd. Come to find out, he was still MARRIED and living with his wife!!
If he is single, I am worried that he is too concerned about how his children feel rather than himself. I am curious as to what his excuse is (as to why you cannot meet them)?
Yes, he should've already introduced you to his children! Every guy that I've ever known that has children, introduces his partner as soon as possible (usually within 6 months-1 year).
If I were you, I would suggest to him that he obviously has no intentions of commitment with you (or he would let you see his children).
âºâºGood luck!
2007-03-28 06:16:28 · answer #4 · answered by KD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think two years is plenty long enough. If it were early in your relationship, it would be understandable that he not want to bring a lady friend around. If a relationship is not serious there is no point in confusing children by introducing them to a cast of changing dates. I would ask him if he is serious about your relationship. If he says yes, I would tell him that he needs to start acting like it. Why does he think he needs to hide you from them would be another good question? If he is serious about your relationship after two years, it is time to meet the kids.
2007-03-28 05:59:15 · answer #5 · answered by Stormy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say no, until such a time that he has proposed marriage and commited to a long term future with you. Too many kids today see a revolving door of partners and hes obviously trying to shield his kids from that which leaves a bad impression and makes youngens think a revolving door is the way to go.
2007-03-28 05:51:24 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your partner has a role to protect his children. They've already been through a lot with the divorce of their mum and their dad and you'll be coming into their life.
He doesn't know how they'll react and take it and doesn't want them to get hurt again.
You need to wait until the time's right until he shows you to them. Trust me be patient and in time you will meet them.
2007-03-28 07:42:10 · answer #7 · answered by Gumby 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you are just as important in his life as his kids are- he should want you to meet them.
I have to share this with you though cos its funny. My sister was dating an older guy who had 2 kids. My sister is a great girl but she does not really appreciate children that she isnt related to....Anyways she went on holidays with her boyfriend and his kids. She said she sat on the deck at a beach house, opened a bottle of wine and lit a cigarette....
There was an advertisement on television at the time saying "If you smoke your kids smoke too"....She said one of the kids walked up to her and said "If you smoke your kids smoke too!!" to which my sister turned to the poor child and said "I dont have children"....
2007-03-28 05:56:22 · answer #8 · answered by naughtiest_nurse_of_em_all 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now.....i don't know how old you are but you seem to be old enough to date a guy with 2 kids but, young enough to not see whats going on. I want you to stop what you're doing and scroll up and read that question like you never wrote or read it. Now what would you say to that girl? And you have your answer. =P
2007-03-28 05:56:22 · answer #9 · answered by body of a buddha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It very wrong to come between him and his kids. He's just probably trying to do whats right by them. Sorry to say, but his kids should come before you. Just try and be patient. When his ready I'm sure he'll let you know. Don't push him cause if he has to choose between you and his kids, he most likely would choose them. Good luck
2007-03-28 06:01:14 · answer #10 · answered by Maire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋