ive been with my g/f for 9 months, I love her to death, but it seems that she doesnt trust me to be faithful and it bothers me. There other problems also. I want to stay with her, but i dont know if it will last long. Ive met this girl from my job and she seems to be everything that i want, but im not sure. Should i leave my girlfriend to find out, or stay with my g/f and try to work on our problems?
2007-03-27 22:37:48 · 13 answers · asked by lrb11126 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I understand that you love her but that you two, have certain "issues" that need to be worked out before you get on to next level of your "relationship".
You ask if you should stay to find out. But you don't give a clue of what it is you'd like to find out. If you must find out how far she can trust you, tell her that any relationship not based on love, respect and trust is doomed to fail, so is it fair to either one of you to be fighting a losing battle? If you knew the ship you were on was sinking, would you still insist on staying on it???
And if you really truly ever gave her any reasons not to trust you (since you're together that is) and she still remained with you after the fact, then, she truly cares about you and you need to take or give her the time she'll need to get over whatever it was that broke that trust as I doubt that she would have even moved in with you in the first place if she didn't think she could trust you. If I knew more of the circumstances and the time-frame, it would be all clearer but given the information you provided me with, that's the best answer I can give you. It's possible that you might want to go on alone for a while but only to really find out what you both have in your hearts. You need to sit and have a honest and open conversation with one another about what it is you really want to do with your lives, what your goals are, what you want not just for now, but 5 years from now and how compatible you all are about the things that truly matter to you.
Good communication skills are the main ingredients of a good and healthy relationship. Any sort of relationship!
All this was said when I was under the impression that the girl you're in love with was one and the same as the girl you met at work. Now if you're saying that you're already ey-balling another girl with a view to intimacy, the poor girl you are with had and has every reason to not trust you. One thing I have found to always be the case is this... Anyone who chases two rabbits at the same time loses them both in the end. You are in want of heart! You can not be happy with anyone until you learn to love and respect yourself properly. You are too confused to promise anything to anyone at this point because you are not "stable" in your own mind and heart. If you are a man of your salt, not just on this earth to use others, you will remain "single" for a time. How long depends on how soon you take to find out what you really want out of life. Once you're clear on that, then begin to search for someone compatible and take it from there. If you jump in with another right now, it's not hard to predict what will happen, a year from now, you'll be writing the same letter about how this new one doesn't trust you and how it bothers you. If you don't get it right the first time, you are condemned until you do! Be responsible and do what's right one day at a time. Be truthful and love the one you're with or leave her. It's not good to toy with people's hearts. Not good at all.
2007-03-27 22:55:11 · answer #1 · answered by Teri 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't leave her yet but talk to her. Have a heart to heart talk...tell her how you feel. Tell her that you want to stay with her but her jealousy makes you wanna leave her. Also, reassure her that you're faithful to her. You guys need to talk about how you can make your relationship stronger. But if all else fails, you have to accept it and move on.
As for the other girl from work, don't go for her just yet. I mean you might think that she's right for you because you and your gf are having problems. So it might be just rebound you know.
Take things slow...the first thing that you need to do is talk to your gf.
Hope things will be better for the 2 of you. Let me know what happens :)
2007-03-27 23:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by swit_lover_girl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well now
Love is the key here , it seems you are truly in Love with her
as for her not trusting you , she seems to be insecure
you may need to assure her of your true feelings
let her know that she is the light of your life, and how
she lights up a room with just her smile, show her that
she her self is all that you want, and you say that you work
together I'm sure their are other girls their as well
do they seem to talk to you often , and do you find your
self being overly friendly with them , your girlfriend
may be taking your kindness towards other girls
the wrong way , let her know that she is the one for you
and that when you work among other girls you will have
contact with them from time to time , but that it is strictly
as coworkers, and again assure her that she is your girl.
Then it could be her age , some girls and guys when they are
younger and just starting to date and fall for some one they
seem to get to comsumend with the other person and feel
that he or she should not spend any time with no one
but them and that's not good for either of you, so invite her
to a nice romantic dinner, talk to her about your feelings
ask her of her feelings for you , let her know that it is
really bothering you that she mist trusts you and that trust
next to Love in a relationship is very important, for the both
of you , and you will have to let her know that with out trust
on both of your parts their is no relationship, now i know
it may sting a bit if she gets upset and calls it off but
Honestly would you rather that happen now at this very
early stage of your relationship, or 5 years and 2or 3 kids
from now , you will be better off either way meaning you
will have cleared up your problem after your dinner and
your girl Friend will be at ease with your feelings for her
or she will walk way , and at that time you will be able
to know your self that you did what was rite and all that
you could , and you will move on with that much more
life experience in your corner.
Well good luck.
2007-03-27 23:04:41 · answer #3 · answered by RONBO 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I see it this way, if you leave your girl friend who you claim to love for the girl at work you will be proving her right. In her mind you will have been unfaithful and you will have broken her heart. My advice would be try and work it out before chasing the nearest skirt.
However should you go after the girl at work anyway keep in mind, the grass is always greener on the other side.
2007-03-27 22:50:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clingy, bitchy AND/or jealous women can drive any man away faster than the hottest NASCAR racer to cross the Finish line!! And deservedly so; women need to wake up and realize this "new attitude era" party is over-rated, over-done and is OVER alltogether....and we men are tired of it.
I say take a good look at the new lady....and if she's receptive to you as well. Why stay with what's not for you--GO for what IS right for you instead.
2007-03-27 22:43:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mr. Wizard 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get a job ya lazy **** lol U kno wot I dnt mean that i have no probs with u now not working until u r scrounging off the state and different people need to pay 4 u in our taxes. If i gained the lotto i wouldnt work however i would in no way scrounge off the doll get a job it'll make u a better man or woman and in some approaches make u happier
2016-08-10 22:08:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stay and work with the problems you are facing. You should openly discuss about your problems. she might misunderstood you so you can clear this out. Nine months is too early.
2007-03-27 23:18:52 · answer #7 · answered by Sam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no dont leave her,she has the right,,come on you are a man and you know there is a few of men that are faithfull,,she walks in the street and see how mens look to her eventhough they are married they betray their wifes even by a deep look to a girl,,so u should stay with her and proove to her practically that you are really faithfull..good luck man with your pussy cat ;))))
2007-03-27 22:48:41 · answer #8 · answered by LOLITTA A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay With Her!!!!!!!
U Don`t Know What U Have Until U Have Lost It???
2007-03-27 22:41:37 · answer #9 · answered by Peeti 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try working it out first if it doesn't work break up plenty of fish in the sea
2007-03-27 22:41:17 · answer #10 · answered by Janice M 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋