I have been in my current relatinship for over a year now. We are soon to be married. My problem is that 3 out of 5 times we have sex I start to bawl after I reach climax. I have read that it is a release of stress but my goodness I know I am not that stressed out that many times. With my past relationship's I have never had this ordeal. It is very frustrating when you are trying to be seductive with swollen red eyes. He is very understanding and tells me gently it is ok. So it does not bother him that I know of but it sure does bother the hell out of me. Am I the only one with this situation? I thought it would have passed by now with being intimate for 6 months but it hasn't.
2007-03-27 21:04:18 · 9 answers · asked by Rigssy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Aww! That's really cute. Maybe you're extremely happy that you've found the one. Don't be ashamed for bawling, it's really adorable. In my opinion, It shows him that you really appreciate him and that you just happy overall.
Your guy sounds really sweet to understand and cuddle you after. If it bothers you, maybe you try to tone down the tears so much that your eyes aren't red. Eventually you'll train yourself to not cry at all. [But it's so sweet..and he might get the impression that his sex isn't the greatest if he notices the change.]
I shed one or two tears when I'm with, think or even look a picture of my boyfriend, so I guess it's the same with you.
Congratulations, and I hope you have a happy marriage with him.
2007-03-27 21:15:03 · answer #1 · answered by Pristine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My first question: why does this have to be classified as an "ordeal?" I think it's a very beautiful experience.
Second: I believe that crying after climax is really a demonstration of our vulnerability with our mates. With other partners, you may not have felt as emotionally connected to them as you do to your fiance. It is a scary feeling to feel completely laid bare, physically and emotionally. It takes you out of your comfort zone, where you have some form of defense up. In this situation, all defenses are blown apart. As it should be.
Third: I don't know if this applies to you, but it also may be a leftover of some sexual abuse in your past. Whenever a tremendously pleasurable sexual experience happens, your body still has a memory of the similar sensations caused during the non-pleasurable experience. So, it can result in a mixed feeling.
Depending on what you think the causes are, maybe you'd feel better if you talked with a counselor about it, even just for a session or two. It may be helpful.
I still think it's beautiful. As long as your fiance is ok with it, why judge yourself? You react the way you react for a reason; there's nothing wrong with crying.
Blessings!
2007-03-28 04:15:41 · answer #2 · answered by Jen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know if they're tears of joy or happiness.
That used to happen with one of my exs. It never happened to me with any guy before him or any guy after him.
I couldnt understand or explain why I would do that but it was the same thing. I would always end up crying afterwards.
He was the longest relationship I've ever had and it turned out to be one of the worst. I WAS overly stressed in the relationship and I couldnt see it at that time. I wasnt getting what I needed out of it. I wasnt being treated the way I always assumed I would be treated.
Although he wasnt an awful man and never actually mistreated me, it was still pretty obvious that we werent right for each other at all. And I couldnt accept that at the time because I thought we were supposed to be together forever but now Im so happy I got out of that.
Im not saying at all that this is the situation that you're in but this is my personal experience with that.
2007-03-28 08:34:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely speak with a professional therapist!
in a few thousand sexual experiences, I only felt like (and followed through with) bawling after sex -- i had no idea why at the time but as it turned out i had some *Serious* emotional stuff i needed to start working through!
it may be nothing but i doubt it, you should really talk to a professional about it so you can get to the bottom of this!
2007-03-28 04:21:53 · answer #4 · answered by Steve C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try thinking happy thoughts before and during sex!!!.........
2007-03-28 04:12:22 · answer #5 · answered by Angel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you're thinking about how much you love him?
Tears of joy, hun.
Tears of joy. :)
2007-03-28 04:06:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have to answer what you are questioning. start with that!! make your mind calm and you will get through it.
2007-03-28 04:11:53 · answer #7 · answered by Jevalina 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
immaturity-are you connecting with some forgotten memories? I don't know.
2007-03-28 04:09:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You must be in true love.... =)
2007-03-28 04:08:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋