I always rip my brains out trying to figure out why my boyfriend says he cares, and acts like he cares, to later treat me like i'm worthless, and that he doesn't care, and put down what i do, and how i am, and how i look.
But now i'm worried about myself... i don't like being treated badly. But i keep being with him. I know he won't change this, and no matter how hard i try to be better, he will always find flaws and make me feel bad about them. I don't want him to tell me i'm perfect or anything, but he's very cruel when he points things out. What drives a person to be in this position and keep wanting the other to just love them? What is wrong with me?
2007-03-27 20:47:15 · 7 answers · asked by jade 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Ask yourself what happened in your growing up makes it ok for you to be treated this way.
Then you make up your mind that you don't need to repeat family history and YOU make the choice to be in a healthy relationship.
You are addicted to the drama and you love it when you guys have good days. But, the rare good days just arn't worth it.
He will get worse as time goes on, and then you will lose who you are and wonder how you let yourself be in a situation like this.
It will take inner strength for you to stand up for yourself and move on.
He must be from a very dysfunctional family. And believe me the best predictor of the future is the past.
Once you get away from this guy you will realize how much you put up with. And that even if you have to be alone it is better than being with him.
It is said that verbal and emotional abuse hurts deeper and damages a person more than physical abuse.
Please don't wait 25 years and get away and wonder why you didn't do it sooner. This guy will take years and years of your life that you won't be able to get back.
A great book to read is ARE YOU THE ONE FOR ME?
It saved me from connecting from men who arn't right for me.
Be strong, you can do it.
2007-03-27 21:07:25 · answer #1 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think we are looking for acceptance. However, if you are being treated this way and allowing it, why would you think it is going to get better. What will happen is you will eventually loose all your since of self worth at the hands or mouth of someone else and the saddest part is that by allowing it to happen you are giving away your power. If you allow yourself to be a doormat there will always be someone to step on you. You need to believe in yourself. You don't need validation from someone who puts you down. Best of luck.
2007-03-27 20:56:52 · answer #2 · answered by Lisa R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I seriously think that you belong to the "people who love too much" group.
If you think that the relationship will eventually lead somewhere (like the both of you growing old together or him changing his attitude) then just listen to lyrics of Cristina Aguilera songs (e.g. "his words wont bring me down") and ignore his bad words.
But if you think that this guy will only give you hell for the years to come, then get out. No relationship is worth that much.
2007-03-27 21:26:03 · answer #3 · answered by DangerBoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the relationship is way unhealthy...co-dependancy? Seek couple counseling and if the mental abuse does not stop, leave him asap. No one deserves to be treated this way.
2007-03-27 20:53:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you r "luvsick" for this guy. It happens. We all go through this with SOMEBODY. This is a form of masochism...
Actually, guys like this are hard to get away from. He doesn't see the error of his ways. Women in society are simply "objects" and it's sad.
2007-03-27 21:10:24 · answer #5 · answered by Mee-OW =^..^= 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To discover the reason is a long wonderful journey. Because of this pain, you will be willing to grow in understanding of yourself....You are now starting....Find yourself a good srink,and thank God your awake
2007-03-27 21:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by Kittys Mom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds to me like youve been told often enough that you are worthless and you are now starting to believe it get rid of him your worth more than that
2007-03-28 02:33:44 · answer #7 · answered by arniesmum 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋