I always feel really jealous of my girlfriend, is it normal?

Question

I feel like she could do soo much better than me and it really holds us back from being a great couple. In the beginning things were SOO great she made me feel like i was a king, but lately i've felt really really down, i get very parranoid and it has put our relationship in jeapardy, i get mad very easily and i dont even like for her to hang out with her friends anymore, it hurts to know that im hurting her. Do you feel like she is out of my league and what can i do to make our relationship better. by the way we've been together for a year and a half, shes 15 and im 16.
this is us
http://img134.imageshack.us/img134/9959/dsci000911jq2.jpg
http://img227.imageshack.us/img227/6683/tiff07rf9.jpg
http://img219.imageshack.us/img219/6329/1002798wd5.jpg

I'm actually really mature for my age, i know what love is and i know i love her, i just have problems because i think so highly of her

now i dont want any pity,let that be known, i just wanna know why i feel this way, in my opinnion i've had a hard life. here are some things i feel may make me feel like this. My dad left when i was born and i've never met him, my mom has been in abusive relationships as far as i can remember, and i've been abused by these guys. I dont have a family life at all.

more information: in the beginning of our relationship i snuck out of my house to see her and i got grounded for a month, she broke up with me and went out with a couple different guys, i stuck around because i really liked her, we still talked, and then she came back to me. then about 5 months ago she went to a party without me knowing and made out with some guy (she said he made here), i gotta little crazy and broke up with her but she begged me to stay with her so i did. those are the biggest problems we've had.

Answer 1

You relationship will suffer until you deal with the issues inside of you. Why do you feel that she could do better than you? Did the kids in 3rd grade call you ugly? Did your big brother and his friends hold you down and beat you up while calling you a loser? Did your father always call you stupid? This sounds harsh, but I'm trying to make a point--there is a REASON that you are insecure with her. Find out what the underlying reason is, deal with it, take responsibility for it, and LET IT GO.

I also think that you may be basing too much of this on physical appearance. Speaking from personal experience, there are some good-looking girls out there that go for "unusual" looking guys. Find some confidence in yourself--she'll thank you for it. Most importantly, you'll thank yourself.

Read this book: it'll help. "Conscious Loving," Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks. It will help you deal with your insecurities in the context of your relationship.

Good luck, and blessings to you both.

Answer 2

First of all, you guys are totally cute together. You only have something to worry about if you give yourself something to worry about. In my experience, guys usually only get paranoid if they've done something they're ashamed of. So if you did do something she wouldn't like, what she doesn't know won't hurt you, as long as you don't do it again. Don't become too controlling or she will push you away, and don't let your insecurities take over. If she thinks you're good enough for her, then you ARE good enough. Also, being together for a while takes some of the spice out of the relationship, (meaning the spontaneous make-out sessions and late night phone calls might not be as exciting or romantic as they used to be.) So you have to MAKE it more romantic. The best way to make you feel better about your relationship is to make her feel good. Compliment her wildly, let her know how much she means to you, and above all, make sure she knows that you trust her. ( You should probably find out if she trusts you too, because if she doesn't, you could have good reason to be jealous.) Anyway, I wish you both the best, and I hope you can find a way through your insecurities and be a happier person

Answer 3

My BF used to be the same way, and still is a little, and we've been together for a little over a year. He won't let me hang out with guys, asks who they are, how we know each other, and if they like me. You're right, doing this hurts me so bad. I know that he is doing this because he cares for me and doesn't want to lose me. However, If you do it too much, you might do the opposite of keeping her; you might driver her away from yourself. you need to build trust starting with the little things. talk to her about how you feel. I had to pull the reasons out of my BF about why he was acting so protective. And talking and working it out helped my relationship. Jealousy is a hard thing to get rid of, but if you tell her why you feel the way you do, and work through it together, both of you will be fine. Girls can't ready guy's minds, and neither can you read her mind. So you gotta tell her straight up how you feel. It'll be a more open and honest relationship! You know you're hurting her, so you have the ability to stop it. Talk, share, and be honest. It might not be a quick road to recovery from jealousy and being too protective, but work at it together and it'll make the both of you stronger. I really hope the best of luck to you both :)

Answer 4

There is only one thing you need to do to make your relationship better.

1)Stop being a boy and be a man.

Right now you are acting like a boy. You are insecure about yourself, which causes you to be controlling. I know a lot of girls and none of them find insecurity as an attractive trait. The good news for you is, this is something you can fix with a little bit of effort.

First, think about the position you are in. You got the girl! She likes you for you....she decided to be with you origionally, and, at least for the time being, she is sticking with you while you are being annoying. She obviously sees some great traits in you that attract her to you. This should give you the confidence to let her live her own life without worrying about what she is doing and trying to control her.

Let her hang out with her friends. She will tell her friends about how mature you are and how great it is that you are so trusting of her. All of her friends will tell her how lousy their boyfriends are because they are jealous and controlling and they wish their boyfriends were more like the new improved you!

With a little effort, you can make your girlfriend happy and set yourself apart from all of the other insecure boys your girlfriend and her friends are likely to come across.

Answer 5

you look like a sasquatch hahahahhahahahah, bob is sorry that was funny. its true though, you should think about running through the woods and your girlfriend filming it, hahahhahahhah.

ok now time for bob to answer the question, first of all you sound depressed other then that bob actually does not know what to say. wait bob got it, k couple things

no the way you explained it shes not out of your league, that actually has nothing to do with this situation. you think shes out of your league cause you have a low self esteem and that is either a trait you have or its because you are depressed, but bob thinks we can all agree your depressed, once you get the depression out of the picture, paranoia will probobly gone and the low self esteem should not be there or not as bad. For depression, sitting at home or just stirring on the bad things only worsens depression go do something outside with many other people.


You may not be depressed, but from the way you make it sound and what you wrote you sound depressed.

Answer 6

its not gonna work out, not because she ends up cheating on you but because you drive her away by being insecure and immature. you need to give her the trust and respect she deserves to have friends and a social life that doesnt revolve entirely around you. and you cant get angry with her for no real reason because you are feeling paranoid or insecure. what you need to do is sit down and have a long talk with her about why you feel like this sometimes and how it makes you lash out at her. and you should make some friends/get a life outside of your relationship so you have some people to talk with other then her when you feel this way.

Answer 7

Its normal tendency of 80% of girls to do this. Once they are sure that you belong to them suddenly all their praise and appreciation cease to exist. It makes one feel disgusted. It is a phase.... I wont say they are wrong ... rather we guys are. You should be able to understand the reason behind their appreciation and praise before. Again it was for your good in the end. She did all that to win your love. Live through it for sometime more. I guess 6 months down the line things should become fine. You both are not mature yet.

Answer 8

Being Jealous around someone you care about, wanting to know there whereabouts etc, is never normal,its a confidence problem. It will go away with age, but till then try giving yourself a little more "credit"
Im sure you dont want to lose her
Good Luck

Answer 9

Nah it's completely normal,
I've been the same, it's all part of learning about relationships when your young,
Also no-one's out of anybody's leagues,
So don't feel insecure there, if you have been with her for so long I'm sure everything would be fine.

Answer 10

young man , you need to feel grateful you have her in your life.
you seem really into her and that is great, now look bro you must be a great guy if she picked you. But jealous crap and not letting her be with friends do what she needs to do, shows her you're controlling which is really unattractive to females. If you back off, she come to you. drives them nuts.