My husband is getting caught up in porn. I keep finding it everywhere. It's destroying our marriage. What can I do?
2007-03-27 20:31:52 · 4 answers · asked by Gidget 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
There is no doubt you have a problem on your hands. Wally gives you a good insight as to what is going on. Godelectedme is right in that prayer is definately in order (when is it ever not needed?), but I would not confront your husband. Confrontation is antagonistic by nature and may only succeed in driving him further away.
You have to LURE your husband away from his PC. I would start by getting him out of the house and doing something that he likes to do. You are going to have to invest some time and effort to working with him on this. Once you get him out (fishing, hiking, gardening, riding a motorcycle, or whatever) for a few days away from the PC, the temptation should go down a bit (out of sight, out of mind). Then, when the two of you are having a great time, you can gently point out how much of his life is being wasted away in front of the computer.
One other point. As Wally pointed out, you husband may have a compusive behavior. But it may not be to porn. It may be to collecting. Some people collect baseball cards, some people collect stamps or coins. And some people collect porn. The way you tell the difference is if your husband records/downloads it but doesn't really seem to be looking at it very often (other than to make sure it was downloaded/recorded correctly). If he meticulously catalogues and indexes the stuff he is getting, then you are looking at a collection compulsion.
If all else fails, you may try counseling or an intervention, but that is a "nuclear option" and will either save the marriage (but will always leave some level of distrust and resentment) or it will destroy the marriage altogether.
2007-03-30 01:37:45 · answer #1 · answered by sparc77 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is something that you need to discuss with your husband. If you have trouble doing so, then seek out a counselor.
What is going on is that is husband has an addiction. This is a compulsive behavior. When he does it his brain releases a series of chemicals that make him feel good, excited, and sexually gratified... Then he finds he like this soooooo much.. It becomes impossible for him to control.
So first thing... He needs to recognize that (1) this isn't good for him, (2) this is an addiction and either he must gain control over it, or it will gain control over him.
He needs to pray for strength. He needs to remove all temptation. He needs to see the value in virtue... I know it doesn't sound like fun, but sometimes its just better to be holy than over-sexed.
2007-03-29 11:01:24 · answer #2 · answered by Dr. D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can install netdog porn filter : http://www.netdogsoft.com
it will block all porn quitely and protect family from porn
2007-03-30 17:58:52 · answer #3 · answered by beyondhelper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1 pray about it, 2 confront him about it, 3 kill the old pc and a new one that only u know the password!,,,,y'all are in my prayers!
2007-03-28 02:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by godelectedme 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋