Here's my dilemma: I've known this guy since I we were in grade school together. We lightly dated our senior year in high school, and have kept in touch for the last 10 years...both of us in and out of relationships during that time.
So now, recently we've reconnected...and like I felt in high school--there's so much about him that I'm attracted to. He's kind, warm, funny, we share similar interests, has great friends and family, drives me wild when I see him with kids, and we have a great time when we go out. I'm just not 100%, physically, attracted to him. Not completely unnattracted to him, mind you. But the spark isn't entirely there.
I recently went to visit him (he lives in another state), and now that I'm back home, I miss him. Is this fleeting? Or can this grow? I realize that you shouldn't settle, however, despite the physical-I feel that I wouldn't be entirely...like I'm missing out on something if I DON'T end up with him. I can't "shake" him from my thoughts.
2007-03-27 20:02:36 · 10 answers · asked by Erin D 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
looks shouldn't matter that much, as long as ur happy being with him
u both must give it ur best
2007-03-27 20:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by stalker77504 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just think, this is the person you fell in love with in your high school years. Obviously your love for him is still the same, and mental attraction is wayy better then physical attraction, its the personality that counts.
It's probably also that you haven't seen him in a while, and maybe you remember him as someone perfect. But now when you see him, he's not as much as you thought he was. But he might just be the same.
Also, it seems, that when your not with him you miss him. That means something. That means your wanting to see him again.
Loving people for who they are is much better, not for if theyre muscular, or a sport athlete, or a brainiac, or if theyre the most good looking guy you've ever seen. It's the person inside, the personality, that's the person your missing.
So next time you see him don't worry if he's not perfect, he's got the personality, so keep him! Hopefully soon the spark will come back. Good luck!!
2007-03-27 20:24:13 · answer #2 · answered by lydz . x 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just remember that it's not all about physical attraction. The fact that you are mentally attracted to him is great! I'd say love definitely grows and being far away is not that big a deal. My guy is in another state and I miss him like hell when he's not around. I've loved him for over a year and we've known each other since middle school. Never have I been physically attracted to him though. Somehow, it just doesn't seem to matter 'cuz I love him so much otherwise. I guess it depends on what you value most.
2007-03-27 20:09:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is not like the fairy tale. Give it some time. If it doesn't blossom into what you feel you need, that will be the time to forget him. In the meantime, I hope that you are seeing other people. Seems as if you need something to compare this relationship to.
Do not jump into anything that you are not sure of. It is a lot easier getting in, than getting out.
2007-03-27 20:11:42 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think maybe you are just excited about having him back in your life, that doesn't necessarily mean you don't have feelings for him, just that those same feelings might be in a bit of 'limbo' right now. Why don't you talk to him and see how he feels.
2007-03-27 20:07:11 · answer #5 · answered by LuvUrGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I never believe in love. It only brings misery, frustration, saddness and takes away the best moment when we are supposed to be happy. These happen when we can't cling on to our love life anymore.
2007-03-27 20:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by nimesh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is abstract and doesn't exist, it is not a real entity, it doesn't die, it doesn't grow. you call it love becuase you are selfish and want to feel better in his presence. you spend some days with a dog and you will start feeling affection for an animal too.
2007-03-27 20:09:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
of course, love can grow. you have 2 choices-pursue it and see where it goes, or forever wonder what could have been.
2007-03-27 20:07:55 · answer #8 · answered by billyjoemikey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow. you are in a dilemma. not gonna lie, i havent been there. so i dont think id be of much help.
2007-03-27 20:08:15 · answer #9 · answered by guitarcrazy408 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep if you both try love grows
2007-03-27 20:07:05 · answer #10 · answered by east2west 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋