Help! I'm losing my faith!?

Question

I was on a local news story when I was a kid - some of you may have heard, but I doubt it, it was long time ago - for having memorized the New Testament.

I've preached for over fourteen years to congregations all over the country.

I went back to school to get my PhD in Theology and I graduate in one year. But in my apologetics research (My thesis is titled, "An Exegetical Comparison Between Jesus of History and the Manuscript Tradition) I soon discovered that the manuscript tradition is plagued with problems (no originals, political interpolation, canonical discrepancies, etc.)

and the historical Jesus! My friends, I would be lying if I said there was even one reliable historical reference to the historical Jesus. I have exhausted every Historical relevant document, personally.

I cannot tell you all that I was shocked to discover, but this excerpt summarizes SOME of it:

http://www.atheists.org/christianity/didjesusexist.html#FA

My professors tell me to just keep it quiet!

There's somuch more to show you how, Christian apologetics has failed to address, but it all seems so insidious and unbelievable to me - I'm going to have to change my thesis, perhaps stop preaching...

I just need a vacation! God Help us all!

Most of the information from Christian Apologetics sources remain ill-equipped for true exegetical research.

I've scoured them all, and they make some good points, but are geared towards the non-academic Christian.

Unfortunately it's the secular sites and sources that provide a more objective and reliable source for research.

My God!

What's wrong with you people? It's like you didn't understand anything I wrote!

This is like the Twilight Zone!

Answer 1

Despite what you write above, you wrote the following:

"I have dedicated my life (as an ex-Christian/Theologian) to bringing down religious myths of all types."

in a question posted at:
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Later you write:

"When there is so much evidence that the Bible is actually not the Word of God at all? All one has to do, is a basic search on, how the "Bible is wrong, science disproves the Bible, and or Atheism.." in order to find actual scientific and reasonable evidence that disproves Christianity and the Bible?"

in a question at
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

So which is it, Ayn Rand (John Galt), are you a doubting Christian or a poser?

Answer 2

Keep questioning, that's good--Christ is the Truth, so you have nothing to lose by questioning Him. You should read "The Religious Sense" by Luigi Giussani. It's so grounded in reality and Truth! You will love it!
Faith is reasonable. Your heart knows it, or you wouldn't be asking for help ;-) You have experienced Christ and your reason was satisfied. This is the test I think that you are going through: do you worship the Bible or do you worship Christ?
The gospel writers weren't historians, some weren't even scholars. Nor is it a book of accurate facts, and it shouldn't be read as such either. It should be read as a letter from a friend who is recounting an event. We aren't shocked when we find that there is an error or mistake in one of those--at least the main gist of the friend's letter is true.
The Bible didn't fall from the sky, but it is the canonized Word of God, meaning its the closest thing we can get to the actual event. It was passed on by oral tradition all over the world. It's amazing so many things about it coincide. The important things are true and real, only the little details don't seem to coincide.

Answer 3

I don't have a PhD, but I do have a Masters degree in Theology. I am surprised that you were not aware of the "problems" until you got to your PhD studies. I have studied this pretty thoroughly and I think that you are over stating it a bit. If what you say is true, then you could also say that there are no "reliable historical reference" to the historical Leonidas (ya know the 300 guy) or to Socrates. Everyone is biased, but does that mean that they are blatantly lying?

The fact is that what we have in the New Testament is better attested to than any literary document within 1000 years of its writing. It is not perfect, but it is close enough. We don't have any of Shakespeare's originals, but we still believe that what we have is what he wrote.

Answer 4

1 Corinthians 13:1
Though I speak with the toungues of men and of angels,but have not Love ,I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal.

1 Corinthians 13:8
Love never fails .

1 Corinthians 13:9
For we know in part and we prophesy in part.

1 chorinthians 13:11
When I was a child ,I spoke as a child, I understood as a child ,I thiught as a child ; but when I became a man ,I put away childish things .12 For now we see in a morror, dimly,but then face to face.Now I know in part , but then I shall know just as I also am known.

Dear!
your punch line is "Help! I'm loosing my faith".
Faith always finds you..nomatter where you are but the main question is do you still beleive in God,Jesus christ, Holy Ghost?
I am not learned as you are but i would like to make you recall that you memorized the New Testament..
What inspired you to do that; as kids are always involved in more fun activities and you decided to spend that time in memorizing the very questionable,confusing,tough New Testament?Why?
God is with you..
this is only the worldly knowledge you are working on,influenced by the various thoughts and ideas you also see many questions arising.
I've questioned and still question about Bible a lot,but every question strengthen my faith as i try to seek the answer and ask help from my Mighty Learned Friend Jesus Christ.
I pray for help and immediatly is sent to me .
I hope you don't loose your beleif coz even if you are lost God will Find you and is now already know where you are.
Hang in there.
Pray with passion and faith.Help is on the way!


I'm praying for you.

God Bless.

Answer 5

I'm not a scholar and there's tons of things which I don't understand. But I had quite a number of supernatural experiences. There's two reason why I still believe in the Bible:

When I was very young I started to doubt the Bible because of mainly two things which I had read in it, that I couldn't make sense of:

1) What on earth was speaking in tongues?
2) Why didn't God keep his promises to Abraham and David?

I calmed down about it for a while but I was never really happy about the half-anwers (or non-answers) I got at church.

Somehow I knew I had to go to Australia and my life would change there.

In Australia I heard tongues for the first time in my life. I didn't know what it was I just knew it had power. When it was explained to my that this is in the Bible, it suddenly all made sense... I experienced the lifechanging power as decribed in Acts!

I was more than happy to realize that the Bible was truth and that everything written in it still worked today. Indeed, Jesus Christ the same yesterday, today and forever!

The other question was solved by the national isreal theory. (Don't get a fright, by now I'm aware that there are some crazy extremists on that scene, ignore them, it really makes sense!)

Then I did something. Out of the blue I wrote a letter to a girl I hadn't seen for many years to tell her about God. I received an instant answer. I didn't open the letter. I took it to chruch on Sunday. I still didn't open it till after the operation of the spiritual gifts. One of the gifts said, that there will be attacks and storms but to hold on and keep the shield of faith to extinguish the fiery darts of the devil.

After the service I opened her letter. She was a satanist trying to convert me to satanism.

A few days later while reading my Bible I found something that seemed to be a contradiction. Based on that I had the weirdest mind attacks you can imagine. I kept reading and listening to the Psalms. That's what got me through it.

A month or two later an elder could explain to me what the scriptures meant that seemed to contradict each other.

About one year later I had to think of that girl again and felt that I wanted to pray for her. But I was afraid the attacks might start all over again. I told this to my deacon. What I didn't know, he was already having these attacks! I just told him the source of them! But he didn't tell me and only said something like, "Oh it can never harm to pray for someone..." He completely lost his faith.

I had applied for a job (apprenticeship) with a logistics firm. And I was invited for a second interview. On that morning, when I was about to leave the house I suddenly knew the following:

You will see Nicole (the satanist) at this interview, she has applied for the same job. When you will see her you will know that in the spiritual realm she was involved in that deacon's loss of faith. When you will see her you will also know that any thought which doubts the Bible is authored by satan.

During the day I completely forgot what I had been shown in the morning. In the afternoon I had that interview. When that girl came into the room, I suddenly remembered it all. That was a shock!

I can't explain everything to you. But I know for sure that there is a spiritual world and that a war is going on!

I think it all comes down to "Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;" (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Remember, it is the serpent who asked, "Yea, hath God said.."

Maybe the works of Josh McDowell will help you a bit, too.

Answer 6

This is foolish as well as childish.

The trouble is with you thesis topic. There is no Jesus of History. There are men of history; men calling themselves Christian of History, ....

There are four accounts. That's it. You can find problems; however, a good bible will tell you what is not in early manuscripts.

You unbelief is yours. Keeping quiet or screening your lungs out, will not change anything.

Belief is exactly that. Something that you have or you don't. Figure out what you believe, but in any case, finish your thesis. Doctoral thesis are more their advisers then the student.

Answer 7

We do not see the wind, but we know it is there. It is the same with God. He moves within our lives. It is up to us to recognize and show gratitude for those things which are not coincidences, but blessings from our Lord. The adversary will put boulders before you, but HE can move mountains. Seek after HIM who will save you. The bible is indeed a political as well as religious document, subject to man's fallibility. It has been altered to suit the times, to suit multiple agendas, and more than once. That's a truth, but it is not all the truth. Ask yourself this, if you were alive in the time of Jesus, and considered him a heretic, would you not want to remove all trace of him, expunge him from the record forever, for fear that the very mention of his name would incite anarchy and war? Surely the Pharisees and religious leaders felt this way, which is why he is not in their writings. To the Romans, he was nothing, a no one, because they did not worship the same God, nor recognize him as anything more than another criminal who had to be destroyed. With this in mind, look around you, the workings of HIS hand is everywhere. Ask in faith for the truth to be revealed to you, and HE most certainly will answer. Jesus did exist, HE is not a myth.

Answer 8

John: You have to have faith in the first place to lose it. Faith is a gift of the Holy Spirit. Do you not remember when Paul, the Apostle said, " our faith does NOT stand in the wisdom of men but in the power of God" (First Corinthians, 2nd chapter, verse 5) ? The Old Testament (Book of Daniel, 9th chapter) discusses Jesus Christ [Messiah] and Him being "cut off" (crucified) - lending credibility to Him. If you feel that intellectualism is the key to the things pertaining to God, you are very sadly, mistaken. Christians walk by faith - not by sight. Why do you think the Calendar was changed from B.C. (Before Christ) to A.D. (In the year of our Lord) for? Jesus was real alright - Jewish historian Josephus, Roman historians and the early church fathers wrote about Christ's existence. The problem with the site reference you supplied, tends to be very biased and lacking in objectivity ! You seem to me to be the type who loves to teach the teacher. Have you even, considered the fact, that your "professors" wanted you to "just keep it quiet" because you will undermine the weak ones in the faith ? You don't impress me with your claim to possessing a good memory since the Christian experience is one of a relationship [spirituality] with Jesus Christ - not flesh and blood [brains & I.Q.] . Your posting illustrates the fact of Jesus Christ's existence since, wasn't it Jesus who said, " those who will endure to the end will be saved" ? Satan loves to have you attempt to undermine the faith of the weak - you do prove Satan exists though !!!

Answer 9

When we help each other, that is God helping us already. Jesus is not about a man/god, Jesus is about us filling the air between us with kindness, so God can evolve into pure physical and non physical Love in the same sphere… so God can enjoy being physical. Christ is in everything and is everything. You see, if you believe your faith is an intellectual thing then you are not at risk of loosing anything at all… you did not have anything to loose to begin with… faith is a feeling not an intellectual thing. All that book learning… jeez… the uneducated educated… all the laws of God… are down deep under all the layers and layers of interweaving earthly crap… in your heart… “True intelligence is the mind honoring the wisdom of the heart.” Be still and know that I am God… be still-- listen to your heart.

Oh yeah, that "excerpt"… a ton more of words… you can hide out all you want in words… but you will need to face the fear and do it anyway… see through the crap you think you are and find the true you who is…?

The uneducated educated telling the uneducated educated to keep quiet... jeez... the structure of language... so binds our imagination that we can no longer imagine God.

RICHARD

Answer 10

Well that's just the beginning of your search, that happened to me long time ago when I was a teenager.

Then I went and study Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism, and all religions beyond just the Abrahamic ones, am I a believer in those philosophies?. Well, fortunately eastern philosophy doesn't focus so much into believing and having faith in the unknown, but to question everything you encounter... so to make things short I still consider myself an agnostic, but I have to concede that reading eastern philosophy books has broadened my views and my concepts about society and human suffering/happiness in general.

My advice to you is study everything there is, all is human creation, we have created amazing things (don't bother with the nasty stuff) and everything is here for your growing and learning in order to become a fully realized human being.

I think you're on the right track, so I guess all my congratulations to you for breaking the mental shell.

Peace!