What is more important? An old family, or a new one?

Question

Is the family that raised you from birth more important than the family you will start or vice versa? If you had to pick, what would you choose? Why?

Answer 1

Your new one. The old one raised you to be independent. You chose to become a family again.
In a burning house who would you save first, grandma or daughter?

Answer 2

Of course the family that raised you is important, however, when u become an adult and have a family of your own, life does change. Your "new family" would come first but the family that raised you would also still be a big part of your life. I think commonsense prevails here. Both are important. You really still need your family for support and interaction. All of my family are important to me my children, grandchildren, sisters and mother. My mother is very ill at the moment, however, I have a balanced family and we all accept that our lives are different but we come together in times of need.

Answer 3

The family you create is more important. The family that raised you has the duty of bringing you up specifically for the reason of letting you go to spread you wings and be on your own. You are 100% responsible for your children...they are completely dependant on you to do the same for them as your parents did for you. And in a marriage, your spouse should always come first. BUT that doesn't mean that I feel anyone should stop loving the family that brought them up. They should always be a major part of your life and you should always honor them for bringing you into the world. But these are just my values. Everyone's different.

Answer 4

Neither one is more important than the other. But, if I had to choose the family you start has to be your priority. In the bible when you marry your husband or your wife comes before your parents. You make a covenant with God and that person, you dont have that same covenant with your parents. Im not saying that they are nothing but you have to focus on your future. Believe me from experience now, if you are not willing to put the person you marry first before anyone else you are not ready to start a new familiy. Trust me on that.

Answer 5

Do you mean your mother and father and siblings versus your own children? Most people believe that - if they were really pressed - their own children come first.

You're kind of trying to do an apples-and-oranges comparison, though: Your childhood family is your roots. Its what has largely contributed to the person you are. The family you will have is the family for which you will be responsible and you will be contributing to character/person-building.

Your childhood family is, though, something that, ideally, would act as a backdrop against which your new family will be built.

Answer 6

To me my new family is more important. My children that I gave birth to and my husband that I married and made a commitment to mean the world to me. I do have a different situation than I think most people do though. I cut off contact with my parents because they were abusive so I don't want them in my family's or my life.

Answer 7

It depends on who you speak to. Both are important, but if you're going to start a family, that should be your priority. It's great to have a close-nit family and be with them and all, but when you grow up, and you wanna start your own family, it's great, too. I don't think you CAN choose one or the other, but if the old family isn't wanting you to have a new one, I'd go for the new one any day.

Answer 8

You should never have to pick. Your new family is your main concern right now, but I could never turn my back on my family from birth either. Of course if either is destructive or evil - that changes my answer.

Answer 9

Both

Marriage does not = divorce of family. If a young lady expects that better get a grip on headship in the home because isolation creates depression. Some men cause their own turmoil by allowing the wife's insecurities to run the home. I am not saying all women are insecure but today's gal(not all but many) are seeking out men that come from non-feminist homes...it appears they are trying to fix their weak father role model also get rid of father/son relationships or were raised to wear the pants and to do this they attempt to destroy families of the opposite as if it were a challenge...they appear vile and jealous. One element that was lacking in my sons life is there needed to be healthy male bonding which I encouraged but both are resposible for failing at. When boys have weak males role models around them while growing up it's also a recipe for disaster as they tend to idolize the selfishness and recreate it. My hubby has taken a long hard look at these issues. It's too late for him and his father to talk about these issues as his father has passed on so the best he feels he has going for him personal responsibility altho healing needed to take place between both and would have been a better scenerio.

Pick: I wouldn't pick and here is why: I wouldn't marry someone who had the nerve to ask me to choose. If already married it would be worked out pronto...I'm a female and yes, there are certain personalities in my family(known as "inlaws" AND birth families blah blah their my family) that have crossed our boundaries .... that's not a good idea, as for my personality, and the fact that my husband and I learned to deal with the issues not run away from them if and when they arise. I love my hubby too much to ever consider saying "it's either me or them". Our marriage comes first but family out of the picture doesn't happen here only on the part of certain family members who could give a rip about family period...I find a lot of people simply like to fight when their lives are a mess ...lol some do this but that's their problem. My DBI launched an attack on us before and after he "came out of the closet" he has issues about stalking our marriage and adult children mainly the women. We are older and wiser than our children...this is an issue where intrusion is present.

Since this generation mirrors the era of our parents we are stuck in the middle with both our parents(60s) and our adult children behaving in this manner try they might to rule our roost...our parents are also from the "me generation". Both of my hubbies mothers managed to become feminist and neither worked out of the home(happens all the time)...both had self-centered hubbies and yes this spreads down the tree if aloud to. It's quite the balancing act lol we are thinking of sending three out of six a whip and chain and sons a bottle as their wives appear to be verbally moving them into spineless gents that live in a cave(wife induced/husband accepted)...it's awlful for a parent to watch this role reversal going on seems that parenting was a loss and the deterioration of our sons is heart wrenching but they are adults and yes, this can make them or break them either way the end result will be their creation due to the issue of headship/submission in marriage. Any young lady that claims her husband is a "mommies boy" to get rid of the father/son by using the mother/son relationship is telling you what she's up to...and that is turning her husband into a child. Many gals today call their husbands a "mommies boy" - listen to them they will state what the goal is...I'm the mother your the son what a marriage- what a life. If a gal sees the mother as family oriented (biggest threat) it's the mother/son relationship she goes after....the real goal is to break the bond between father and son as she never had one. The sick thing is she demands her husband do this for her while giving an appearance she has nothing to do with it and tries to mask it but can't. This is a requirement to pit him against his family. We saw it coming in these situations before they tied the knot one being a our daughter (my step-daughter) doing this to her husband. Time will only tell but if all the hatred keeps up it's only going to get worse...not good.

Answer 10

The family that raised me.. That is gratitude and love.. The new family need you to be responsible..