How can i stop his games?

Question

Weve been together for about 4 months...he moved in about a month and a half ago, he is 34, im 25...it all went downhill surprise surprise as soon as he moved in (i never wanted him to in the first place)...ive done some pretty immature and stupid things since ive moved in...such as drinking and crying for two hours, etc...but it all stemmed from something he had done...such as seeing condoms in his see-through travel bag..which he didnt use and they were old but it still upset me...i went out of town a few days ago to visit my family after an awesome weekend, we went to a wedding...he carried around my wine glass, kissed me...grabbed my hand when other guys talked to me...kept hugging me before i left to go home to visit my family...today, i noticed on his myspace that he did one of the surveys and answered the question that asked what age did he want to be when he had children...he said he has to find the mother first and ask her, the other half of the orange...he also wrote a bulletin titled E-...he said, i have no clue how to contact you and myspace is not helping...see he asked out this girl named Elizabeth on there 2 weeks ago (we were fighting at the time...and hes jealous of my guy friends although he encourages me to hang out with them), he apologized to me and said they never met up...one of her friends left a nasty comment after him so im assuming she doesnt really like him...anyway...who is this E- person? There is no one on his friends list with that first letter in their name...did he just do that bc he thought i would see and get jealous and ask about it and think it was this Elizabeth girl? Hes 34 for Christs sake! I sent him a text message yesterday saying i missed him and he never responded. Im just sad, i want to be the other half...i would make a good wife and mother of his children...God im pathetic...

Answer 1

the only way you can stop his games is to stop being a participant in them. To be honest I think you guys moved too fast. You had only been together 3 months before he moved in. You said that you didn't want him to but still he did. You have control over what happens. If you don't like something then change it. You guys needed more time to get to know each other before moving in together which can be very emotional and it tests the relationship

Answer 2

I think the REAL problem here is the age berrior, He is 34 years old and more than likely knows what he would like in a relationship. when you move in with someone you get to see their true colors......... I had to read your letter twice to really understand what was going on..... Lets see if I got it right .....
He does something you dont like......you cry...... First of all Real LOVE does not happen over night..... You are the one who is having Trust issues not him....... Did you ever think, he had condoms in his bag because he did have a life before you, he chose to move in with you which shows his commitment to you (you said you did not want him to move in, are you ready?) You complain when he shows you affection and attention and are mad when he doesn't return one call..... Can we say POSSESSIVE. Let me tell you nothing will scare a man off faster than a clingy, winey, demanding female. If you really want this relationship to work STOP the DRAMA.... Enjoy the time you spend together, dont speculate what could be happening and focus on what is happening between you. If your relationship is strong and he is happy No woman in the world will be able to take him away. Take all the insecurites you have and through them away If it was meant to be it will be if it wasn't .......you know the rest.....Wife and mother are a huge responsibility.... Show him you are up for the task...... time to turn off your teenage games and become the woman you can be..... There is nothing in the letter that would lead me to believe he doesnt care about you...... Good luck and Believe in Yourself....

Answer 3

No, honey, you're not pathetic. You're a woman very much in love with this guy who apparently doesn't know what commitment really means. The fact that you two are now living together should mean something more than rent-sharing...it's actually a prelude to marriage (that thing that would make the living arrangement legit on paper). I should think that even without that paper, lived-in couples should really be acting like husbands & wives and the rules of marriage already apply. Apparently, your bf doesn't seem to think so. Seems to me like he's having his cake and eating it too.

I'd like to suggest that you two sit down and calmly (and honestly) discuss what your realistic expectations are under the terms of your lived-in arrangement. Let him talk first......then you. The reason for this is so he won't feel threatened, defensive, and/or pressured. Only then would you have a clearer vision of where exactly this relationship is heading to.

Good luck, honey....and keep your cool! God bless.

Answer 4

Yes... sorry to say it. You'd think a 34 year old man would be mature. But no. He is totally disrespecting you. He is with you but says that you're not the one, and he's possesive of you, but pursues other girls. The only thing i can tell you is that he doesn't deserve you. I'm your age, and haven't figured out if you can actually make them stop the games and the foolishness and make them admit they love you, and start behaving like they do. I'm struggling with the same issue, and have posted a lot of questions on the subject on here. Everyone keeps telling me i should kick him to the curb and find someone who will value me and respect me. But i'm still in love with him and want to be his other half, even though he has told me that i'm not at all what he would want in a partner. You see, you're not the only pathetic one. I've been with mine for 4 years, and this issues have been going on for years! He acts like a jerk, and says awful, hurtful things. Later he acts like nothing happened, and is sweet again. It's a vicious circle. It hasn't changed. In all this time! I have stuck by him hoping that he'll realize that i truly love him, and i try to be extra good to him, and not do anything that upsets him. But now he gets upset for the smallest stuff and makes a huge deal out of it.... I guess what i'm saying is, that you should leave him now, that you haven't been together for that long. As time passes it gets a lot harder, and the jerk's behaviour even jerkier. Don't call him. Ignore him. I'm pretty sure he'll come crawling back. When he does, you should talk about everything that bothers you, and if he doesn't comply or at least try to be understanding, dump him. His bad behaviour has got to stop. And if he's saying he wants to be with you, he shouldn't be saying that he hasn't met his other half. I mean, if he doesn't think you are it, then what's the point? He's just abusing you emotionally by doing this. Countless times i've taken back my boyfriend without him aknowledging that what he's doing is wrong, cause i just want to stop fighting and be with him, and he has never changed a thing.
I know that you want to be with him, but, think about it, he's treating you like crap, he asked out another girl. It's stupid to try to make you jealous if he knows you already want to be with him. I think he just likes all the attention he gets from you. He probably doesn't really like himself very much, and gets a high out making you feel bad and still have you chase after him.
The only way i can think of to make the mind games stop, is to dump them. I wish there was another way though. If you find it let me know! i am pathetic too... :(

Answer 5

You are in a very hard situation. I am currently married and I think you should be very ready before you take that step. I mean you have to solve all your problems together and trust one another 100%. Once you are married more and more problems are going to come along the way. It seems like you already have trust issues with him. If hes 34 years old then sorry to say what the hell is he doing on my space. I believe you should think about everything very carefully.

Answer 6

Get some counseling. Seriously.

Life is not meant to be filled with so much drama and strife.

You disrespect all women when you stay in unhealthy abusive relationships. Just because you love someone it isn't a reason to be with them.

The only reason older men date younger women is because women their own age wouldn't put up with half that carp (yes, carp :P).

And oh my gosh there are some seriously hot guys your own age that would treat you so sweetly. You just have to give them a chance.

Answer 7

Yup, so do some suitable purchase places. I want merchandising my video games to suitable purchase or Craigslist for the reason which you may get extra funds. Gamestop provided me $10 for a interest, suitable purchase provided $23 for a similar interest, yet I bought it for $30 on Craigslist. its purely that Craigslist is the least secure while in comparison with Gamestop and suitable purchase haha.

Answer 8

I will dump you right away if I am your boyfriend. Jealous is an ugly emotion, and I don't think he sees you as a good wife and good mother of his kids, he only see your twisted bitching face screaming to him all the time. If you want to keep this relationship, you need to stop blaming on him, because you're the one who is destroying it right now.

Answer 9

it just seems like hes not truely mature enough to handle a serious gf right now. Hes treating you like crap that u know u don't desere. Dont take it! confront him, give him a warrning that if he dosn't grow up(say it calmly and respectful of corse or he'll feel attacted) then u and him will nolonger be togeather! its pretty harsh but hes disrespeting u and acting very imature and it needs to stop. Good luck and i'll pray for your situation.

Answer 10

There shouldn't be this much drama in a relationship! give him up, you need to date someone in your own age group so that you may both enjoy life as people who are able to start with a clean slate. He's too old to act like a confused teen.