is it right for a father to expect from his son beyond his capabilities ?

Answer 1

It's a common practice. Not only between father and son, but everyone has such expectations from others.

While a father is concerned, he always wants the best out of his son. To excel one's skills to the best, one needs to perform beyond his capabilities. And if a father's expectations from son are beyond sons capabilities, the son should utilize it as a motivational factor.

All the best...

:-)

Answer 2

Certainly not. But there should be a proper and joint assessment of the son's capabilities. They should cooperate to find out where the son's capabilities lie and how the son's capabilities can be improved in cerain ares if possible.
The father can always expect the son to make his best efforts to improve his capabilities and prepared to accept the possibility that even with best efforts the son may not be able to improve his capabilyies.

Answer 3

It is common for many fathers to see in their sons the opportunity to correct the mistakes the father made when he was younger. Fathers tend to forget that their lives are the product of all the mistakes and correct decisions they made up to this point in their lives. You can't control another. Yes, a father that controls the purse strings can control, to some extent. But the son can always run away. Then the father will have lost not only his "control" but also the opportunity to influence his son's life. The son has power as well as the father. So talk with the father. If your dreams are different from what he wants for you, talk about it. Ask him if he truly wants to control your every move, your every breath. Are you to be allowed to make any decisions for yourself? Can you turn right or left, go up or down or must you ask him before you do anything? If he believes you are capable of making simple decisions, ask him to define what decisions he feels you can make and what decisions he has to make for you. Try to get him to see that he is making the decisions for himself, not for you. He is trying to live his life over again through you. When he says you should do something, he is saying that this is what he would do now, based on his understanding of life, and therefore you should do it now as well. That's living his life. You must learn to live your own life.

Answer 4

Expectations leads to Dejection and Rejection.
As son/daughter it is also your duty to keep up to the likings of your parents.
Everybody cannot be 1st in everything.Be your good Judge and talk to your father about your limitations and he will surely understand and if he is capable he will give you all the confidence to enhance your capabilities.
Don't worry be happy.Take your dad in to confidence and treat him as your elder friend with a lot of experience behind him for you to learn.Do this to avoid such thinking about you by your son in future.
All the Best

Answer 5

usually the father doesn't *know* he's expecting beyond the son's capabilities.

if you are the son in this situation, talk to your dad and be honest with him, tell him you want him to be proud of you and you are doing your best, but tell him that you feel a lot of pressure and are having a hard time meeting what his expectations seem to be --- make it clear that you *want* to do what he expects but are worried that you are unable to do so...

if you're the father in the situation i don't think you'd be asking this question.

Answer 6

If Dad is fully aware of sons capabilities, then yes, it is wrong to EXPECT exceeding them. Any parent wants their child to do everything possible to excel, but it is unrealistic to EXPECT going above and beyond. WANTING, supporting effort, gently guiding a child to do more is OK - when wanting turns to DEMANDING, problems arise. If possible, son may need to enlist a teacher, counselor, principal, or trusted family friend, to sit Dad and son down and sort it all out. Dad may just have difficulties expressing himself and be giving the wrong impression.

Answer 7

No, because his son cannot meet his expectations. Sometimes people expect too much and don't realize that maybe that person is not even capable of meeting that expectation.

Answer 8

the reason why parents expect from children is because they see their children as a fixed deposit in a bank, which they can withdraw when they need it. Me as a son have experianced a differnt life. my father never asked me for anything never compelled me to do things which I didnt want and being an old man now he never complains of what I have not achieved but compliments me on what I have achieved.

now being a father myself I dont compell my son to do what I want him to rather leave him to do things the way he wants
I respect him as an Individual

Answer 9

Having high expectations for your son is fine, however, they have to be for him, not what you want for him. They also have to be within his reach, whether it be lifelong or academic, or whatever the case. Dependig on how old your son is, he might think the expectations are not for him, not what he wants and may go down another path. Trust in your children to make the right decision for themselves.

Answer 10

It depends on son's age. Between 9-18 months of age child's brain devlops the most so if it is that age it is very good. That is why it is said "poot ke paon palne men pahchane jaate hain. work hard with him for his brain devlopment. If it is devloped at this age he will be genious any how any way.

If it is teen age when brain is reorienting due to harmonal changes it is O.K. too. That is why it is said for grade 8-9 the student what ever you will ever be you are becoming now.

But one thing is most important YOU AE THE ADULT OF HIS LIFE YOU KNOW WHERE YOU HAVE TO TAKE, YOU KNOW TRICKS & TECHENIQUES. TAKE HIM TO THE POINT TACTFULLY BUT DO NOT EVEN LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO TAKE HIM You take care of his other needs too. I will say teen age is the age when children should be kept in strong rule. They should get freedom after that.YOU ARE THE FATHER HE IS CHILD. HE IS LOOKING FOR ROLE MODEL WHO CAN INSPIRE HIM THEN WHY DON'T YOU BECOME HIS ROLE MODEL.

Some times children become defencive & do not want to listen to parents. DO NOT BRING THAT KIND OF YOUR SITUATION IN FATHER/SON LIFE. As it is said "TEACHING & LEARNING IS BEST IN PLEASENT ATMOSPHERE.

Always mentain balance in loving, teaching & playing. That is why it is said play way method is best teaching method. Eastern culture or Asian countries have more parental pressure on children that is why teen sucide rate is more in Eastern culture than western culture. But western countries are rich so parents know their son will not starve. But in Eastern countries where there is more population & less resources the comptation is more Which may lead to sucide.

I am 55 years old I did not appriciated my father for what I could become but I blamed my father for what I could not become. I tols him " Ham To Bacchha the par aap to bare the 2 jhapar diye hote aur sahee jagah par khara kar diye hote"

Take your son to some inspirational speakers speaches. Teach him the word "Priority" Teach him him you are watching T.V. you arw watching other peoples dream come true. Make your dream & work on that. Ask him What profession do you want to go? How much do you want to earn as an adult? It is better to go in most money earning profession with the sam year of education. Tell him to google how much a degree worth for? & then discuss they spent same year but one earns 35000 another earns 52000 let him conclude where he has to go?
Excuse my spelling mistake I am doing without glasses.I reply to help people not to earn point that answere yes or no & gain point.