Ladies: Do you feel men should provide for you?

Question

How does this effect your standing in society as a equal? What about simple things like pulling out chairs & opening doors. When I say provide for, I don't mean a partnership of housewife/ income provider. But a woman who wants their bills paid for, money to go shopping, and gifts all the time? If a woman and a man earned relatively the same income, should the man still be expected to pay all the bills in the relationship. Why about on dates? and why?

Answer 1

women want to be treated as equals, but when the check comes... oops... DOUBLE STANDARDS!

Answer 2

Depends on the situation:
Dating- whoever asks the other person on the date pays. Gifts etc are always a plus, can't lie and say that girls don't like to get an occasional gift. It doesn't have to be expensive though!

Relationship: I personally think that bills should be paid for in a way that account for the amount of money made by each person. For example if the man makes 60% of the total income then he pays 60% of the bills. To me that just make sense and seems fair!

If a woman expects everything to be paid for and be provided shopping money she may be in it for the wrong reasons. The only instance this is acceptable (to me) is if she is a stay at home mom.

Pulling out chairs and opening doors will depend on the woman. I personally think it is nice and it can go both ways! It has no lingering effect on my standing in society.

Answer 3

Traditional for the man to pay for a lot of the things on dates. I'd expect that. You can, of course, have some dutch treat dates also. But more often than not, if the man has the money, he should pay for dates.

I think he should open doors and pull out chairs, within reason. Maybe not go overboard to jump up and do it, but just as a polite thing.

I wouldn't think a woman should expect the man to give her gifts all the time and provide shopping trip money. A gift for her birthday or Christmas. And maybe a now and then gift "just because". But not constant.

If they marry, I feel that if they're both working, they should each pay for the bills and things. Hopefully, there would be a little bit left over for savings and individual spending for little things... If, of course, only the man is working, he needs to pay the bills. The woman should try to be economical as much as she can, not just blow the money on nonsense.

It should be a mutual agreement.

Answer 4

It should be cut down the middle. I like having my own money. If you depend on someone, someday it will end and then you're stuck out. It's smarter to have your own money and pay your own bills. If you're married, then it's a partnership and things should be split down the middle or worked out in some way that makes it right for both people. As far as dates, I'll go dutch with a guy. That doesn't bother me. If it's a horrible date and the guy is an a**, I'll let him pay for everything just to make him mad so he won't ask me out again. Otherwise, I'll pay half. Opening doors & stuff is nice, that just shows manners. It's not a must but, it's always a nice thing to do. When a guy does that, it shows he has respect in my book.

Answer 5

In my humble opinion.DEFIANTLY NOT,
In to days society women are screaming for equal rights.
SO GIVE THEM TO THEM. Let them pay half of the bills and provide half of the work.
I think if you meet someone who is a so called liberated woman then let her be liberated.
I personally worked all my life and contributed more than half of the family's income.
I own my own house as result of that work.
I get embarrassed if I go out with a man and he pays the bill.
I am not rich far from it but in to days society a man and a woman's pay is pretty much equal.
If on the other hand you have a wife who is having your baby then you should pay her bills.
PROVIDED THAT THEY ARE REASONABLE. AS for pulling out a chair for a a woman It is an act of courtesy.
If you want to be considered a gentleman then I would continue to do these things.
Women are a fickle lot really...you have to play it by ear and find out if she is a new aged woman or an nice woman who likes to be treated like a lady.....

Answer 6

I love it when I go out with a guy and he opens the door, pulls out the chair etc. for me. That means he has class, etiquette, manners, is thinking of you and is a thoughtful person.
No, the guy shouldn't pay her bills, or give her spending money. I don't believe that a guy should have to pay for everything in a relationship. If that is expected, run away fast. She is out for more than a relationship.
I believe the woman should provide the amount that is equal to what she can afford.

Answer 7

I don't need a man to take care of me thank you. I can take care of myself. And I can pay my own bills and provide my own money for shopping too. Gifts are cool but a guy doesn't have to buy them all the time. Just my birthday, Christmas and Valentines would be good enough. And by the way I would reciprocate on those occasions as well. The women who want all that stuff are called gold diggers. The rest of us are quite capable of paying our own way. On the first three dates I do expect the guy to pay but after that I would be happy to pick up the check so it's about even. I think I'm quite fair when it comes to all that stuff.

Answer 8

i don't think that it should be all up to the man to pay all the bills if the woman is working too. when your in a relationship your a team and it should be a 50/50 thing on the finances unless the wife is a stay at home mom or something :) but if you go out on a date the guy usually pays for it because thats just the way it's been forever

Answer 9

I think a man provides best for his woman when he is fully a man and she is fully a woman. That means that they each do the jobs that come most convieniently and naturally to them and that all jobs are somehow split upon the value each job holds in the relationship. Ex" My BF goes hunting for a lot of our food. I don't care to hunt although I COULD do it if needed. I tend to cook most of the meals but he helps. I help him cut up the caribou. I help him kipper the fish he catches. My BF pulls out my chair for me, opens my doors and carries the heavy stuff - although we both know I can do these things myself. He does them because he is POLITE, not because he sees me as incapable. My BF and I make a ballpark similar wage each year. We share expenses but don't keep tabs. We just treat each other with kindness and it balances out. I see myself as very much a woman, and feminine but a strong and powerful female. He is able to cook, clean and do laundry, but if there is a choice to be had, I am much happier doing laundry rather than fixing the kitchen sink. See, natural tendencies as it is to we as an individual couple. Respect is the bottom line. NO, if a woman is making her own living and is not a "homemaker" then she should pull an equally valauble contibution to the material side of the relationship. Not eye for an eye, but value for value, and that is all relevant to the couple.

Answer 10

This depends on what stage in the relationship you are. For example, if you are just beginning to date someone, paying for things shows you are interested, traditional and serious. Perhaps not always the case, but this seems to be the stereotype. Once you move in/get married, I think usually it is expected that funds merge, and you are both contributing. Of course if one person earns more, they will likely contribute more, but since "whats mine is yours" it really shouldn't be an issue. Typically the male earns more and thus pays more. Also, women who want to have children often want to take time off, this is a full-time job as well! Of course, this must differ depending on ethnic background, location and traditions, but this is at least how I feel.

Answer 11

Well I think things are equal in a realationship... Opening doors, and pulling out chairs is just another way of showing respect for your significant other... as a gentleman....as the bills and money to go shopping on.. .well that should be split equal in one way or another... depends if you are treating her to something nice...or if she is demanding it,ask her where all her money went? Not rudely...just say that you would like to save some of your money for something later that may come up. And on dates...it is usally the male taking the female out so the male should pay..same as the movies...