I have been dating this guy for 8 months. Both of us were previously married. We both dated others since our divorce, but this is the first serious relationship since for both of us. Here is the situation: He rents a room, but hasn't stayed there since November (he stays with me).
My lease will be up at the end of May. My sister has told me I can move in with her and live for free.
I have said to him a few times that I would like us to move in together, but he didn't respond. A few nights ago I brought it up again. At that time he said that his room mate is thinking about moving in with her boyfriend and renting the house. I suggested we rent it together. He responded that I should still move my stuff to my sisters, but I could stay with him.
How do you take that response? Do you think this means he isn't sure he wants to be with me long term?
2007-03-27 18:08:55 · 8 answers · asked by so_silly_me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Absolutely not. You have both been divorced. Which mean he is likely a bit cautious to repeat history. That doesn't mean he doesn't enjoy being with you. That also doesn't mean he doesn't care. It just means he is still finding himself and needs that time to rebuild some self securities. If you really like being with him, I wouldn't push the issue. You already know what it's like to live with someone. You already know what married life is like, how hard it is, and how easily it can destroy a wonderful relationship. Why are you in a hurry to fix something that isn't broken? Enjoy being single. Enjoy having a boyfriend that you don't share the responsibilities of life with, the things that wedge you from someone you love. Sleepovers are fun and sneaky, no matter how old you get. Keep the spark of new and exciting lit. Keep the butterflies of being excited to see him... Life is hard enough. Why add to it by throwing mental blocks in the mix... Move in with your sister, save your money. Go get a massage once a month at a nice spa, and find some time for yourself, too. You might be surprised just how much of yourself you have really missed, too.
2007-03-27 18:16:49 · answer #1 · answered by Starlyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it does. It means that he wants things to keep things like they are now. You guys stay together, but he has his own place. Like, if you guys fight or something, you both have were to be, away from eachother. I think he's not really ready for the next level. It isn't necessarily bad, you have been together for a short time, and moving in together officially is a big step, maybe he just feels it's too soon. Give him some time... and maybe try to talk to him about commitment, not pressuring him, of course. Just so you know where he stands on this issue.
2007-03-28 01:19:06 · answer #2 · answered by jade 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it doesnt mean that he doesnt want to be with you long term..... it means he doesn t want to be with you period! You are just a good lay for him and a place to go when he doesnt want to go home. It would be one thing if he still slept as his place and maintained that he still wanted his bachelorhood, but HE"S BEEN LIVING AT YOUR HOUSE PROBABLY RENT FREE! That's a NO NO fa real! Never let em shack up, they dont know how to go home!
Move on, my dear! You dont have the rest of your life to be giving up the goods with no commitment.
P.s. I'm not saying that you SHOULD move in together. Merely pointing out that he's been living with you since November BY CHOICE ! Now that you put a more substantial obligation on the table, now he doesnt think its a good idea. Sounds fishy to me. If he didnt like the notion of being with you on a consistent basis, he shouldnt have been staying there anyway. NEWLY DIVORCED OR NOT!
2007-03-28 01:18:05 · answer #3 · answered by FemFatale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea probably he isnt ready for a long term relationship seeing as im sure both of u dont want to go through another divorce. really take the time to get to know someone before u move in together permanently and make sure that is someone ur comfy being with. moving in is a big big step. he just might not be ready for that
2007-03-28 01:13:16 · answer #4 · answered by mayami 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He probably does not want to commit so quickly by moving in together. Its been 8 months. Give it some more time, you bnoth should still do your own thing.
2007-03-28 01:14:10 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's just being cautious! he could be worried about finances and wants to make sure you have somewhere to fall back. he may just need more time. 8 moths is a while, but forever is a lot longer. after a failed marriage, caution is key!
2007-03-28 01:18:40 · answer #6 · answered by krazykubes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't think u should start making quick thoughts on that. it might be that he just dusnt have the room for all of your stuff. i reccomend that u just talk to him, u know, feel him out. it could save u a lot of worry and hard ship
good luck!!!
2007-03-28 01:15:47 · answer #7 · answered by dazed and confused 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it's really a problem ! your story make me wonder if he love you ? his attitude is so weird
I think it's time to have a serious talk with him to find out your own way !
2007-03-28 01:14:54 · answer #8 · answered by Ruru 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋