Why is it so hard to live as an independent thinker?

Question

I myself am an independent thinker (though I am very close to liberal), but I am feel that I am also forced to live independently from the society...lol

It looks like most people I meet or talk to seem to be predominantly from two sides - either very liberal or very conservative. I myself am finding it very difficult to make good friends with people, because I tend to disagree with some of their beliefs - irrespective of whether they are liberal or conservative. So, if I have to make friends with people, I am forced to "act" as liberal or act as conservative around such people. I simply haven't found any such person whom I can be real, good friends with.

How do you feel about this?

Answer 1

i guess my question is to you how old are you. I had this problem as a teen. but as I reached my early twenty, the people i met either liberal or Conservative were more tolerant of my ideologys. maybe though its cause i try to stay truly neutral and only feel strongly about a few things

Answer 2

I find that the best way to think independently is to avoid politics. Watch it from afar, like a horse race. But don't place your bets. Don't call yourself a liberal, don't ever claim you hold superior knowledge. If liberal beliefs are knowledge, then they will be good, there is no 'good and bad' opinion, but there is opinion and there is truth. If you stick to truth, and build all your ideas on good logic (there are dozens of tip-books on this), then you will be an independent thinker. As you can see, not many who answered this question gave you more than pathetic rhetoric (it rhymes and it's true!).

The pithy point: To maintain independence, don't accept labels under any circumstances, and force yourself to admit that 99% of ideas are opinions, and only about 1% (eg- Cogito Ergo Sum) are undeniable logic.

Answer 3

First of all I want you to know that you are not alone. I too have found that my independent thoughts find me spending too much time looking for people that I can relate to in one way or another. I think that most people either DO fall into a more common category of thinkers or at least they are willing to deceive others and even themselves in order to fit into society. I, myself, have always strived to be as honest both with others as I do with myself.

The thing that I have come to realize is that we as independent thinkers must be willing to meet our neighbors half way even though they don't know anything about our bargain. I guess what I'm suggesting is that you not give completely into what our neighbors think that we should be while at the same time we realize who we are and we not miss represent ourselves to anyone. It's a tightrope that we are required to walk but in the long run I think that with patients we will gain the kinds of friends that we seek out.

I recently discovered a strategy game group that has welcomed me and my tendency to stand for my way of thinking even though it isn't standardized. I ran into this group of people by taking a look at my local Barnes & Noble Bookstore in store Newsletter. Maybe you can find people in that way in your area and if you'd ever like to chat we can do that out here as well. The only problem is that as we my have independent thinking in common, we may disagree upon what we believe for each other. If you are willing to agree to consider what I believe I am willing to consider your thoughts as well. I hope that mine was the answer that you were searching for.

Answer 4

I am conservative and have many "liberal" friends. It's not the belief but the person. We will have many heated debates on our points of view, trying to convince the other that they are wrong, and when we are done we are still friends. You just need better people, and the friendship will come.

Answer 5

Sweetie, that's the beauty of the human race. You are never going to find anyone who you can agree with on every issue. The key is to have friends who you have one or two or three things in common with and talk with them on those issues that you have in common. As for the rest, agree to disagree. That is really how friendships work. You have many people in your life who you love and respect and who have some similar beliefs as you and who have other beliefs that are different that make you think, broaden your horizons and help you understand and define yourself better. There's nothing wrong with not agreeing on every issue. It's your uniqueness, embrace it and make it work for you.
PS: Nobody likes people who pretend to agree on everything. I can smell the insincerity and i don't like it.

Answer 6

All people try to influence to some degree, the people around them. I would never not talk to some one because of their political views and would even challenge them, in a friendly way. I can only be myself with every one, because if your not being real, you cannot stay consistent and may come across as a hypocrite. Be who you are no matter who you are with, and if they don't like that, at least you wont feel like a like a hypocrite.

Answer 7

You sound like an introvert living in an extrovert world. It often seems that the litmus test for freindship is similarity in appearance, ideas and beliefs. I prefer tolerance, curiousity and respect. You have to look a little deeper to find that, and in looking you 'out' yourself. Many wise elders comment that most people are lucky to have 5 real friends in their lifetime.

Answer 8

Really, you needn't be one or the other to be friends with someone, just as long as there is a mutual respect and understanding. You shouldn't feel as if you need to 'act' in a certain way for them to accept you, and if they demand that of you, well, move on and find someone more decent. I've got some friends whose ideas/lifestyles/views are completely opposite of mine, but it doesn't affect how I see them as human beings. It just makes discussions more fun :)

Answer 9

No matter what your world view is, people will be against you. There is simply no world view that can get away clean. Even Agnostics (who are intellectually honest enough to admit “I don’t know”) are attacked from all sides. So it’s best to believe what you want and if someone doesn’t like it then too bad for them.

Answer 10

How do I feel? I'm sorry you find it hard to make friends.
Don't give up. There's nothing wrong with being true to yourself, while lending a sympathetic ear to others.
You don't have to be friends with everybody, that's why acquaintances exist.