Help! I've got too many bridesmaids - 6, if not 7, for a wedding of only about 100 guests. And my fiance' is only able to get 4 groomsmen, including the best man. Let me just explain my bridesmaids and see if you agree that I should just invite my trio of HS friends, instead of being bridesmaids. How do I break it to them? I hate to, but its too many!
MOH - good friend since 8th grade; we don't talk or get together very often, but every time we do - it's like we never had a break
BM 1-3: Trio of friends from high school. We always did things together - but we only hang out, email or talk a few times a year (haven't talked to them since Christmas). I still love them as my old friends, but I feel that my bridesmaids should be whom I'm currently close to. I think I already asked them a year or two ago though!
BM 4 - future sister in law
BM 5 - new friend (wife of a groomsman/ fiance' supervisor) who I'm already very close with
BM 6 - Coworker who I'm very close with
2007-03-27 17:25:30 · 23 answers · asked by Up an Evolutionary Tree 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If I don't include my trio of HS friends, then the number of bridesmaids and groomsmen will match.
2007-03-27 17:26:45 · update #1
I'm actually going through a similar problem, I just keep telling my fiance to make new friends quick! :)
I think you should just invite the HS friends as guests. Being a bridesmaid has responsibilities that go with it and if you're only seeing them a few times a year now, where will they be when it's time to fill out invitations or put together the favors and things like that?
It will be easier asking and coordinating with the people you already have close, and anything that makes your life easier right now is a good thing!!
Good luck, I'm sure they'll understand :)
2007-03-27 17:33:56 · answer #1 · answered by johanna71983 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not feel obligated to have sooo many friends! I had 22 people in my bridal party... 11 girls. Some of the friends I had don't even talk to me now because they have a jelousy issue of me being married... at least thats what it seems. If they are true friends, then they will understand and know where they stand as a friend and not worry because they are not a bridesmaid. Also the co worker thing, thats gotta go as well... you are not obligated! I feel that your MOH is great (cause you need your best friend) and family as well. BM 1-3 you could afford to leave out... especially since you don't talk to them much or keep in touch. If you do that then you can keep your close co worker friend to even out the groomsmen. I will tell you, most just wanted to have a title as bridesmaid or usher but really didn't care. I hope thgis info helps, but remember... you are NOT obligated to have ALL of your friends... good luck hun :o)
2007-03-27 17:46:50 · answer #2 · answered by Julez81 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you already asked them, there's nothing you can do. If they already said yes, it would probably really hurt their feelings and possibly destroy your relationship.
Six or seven isn't too many. I had 6 (one was a junior bridesmaid) for my wedding of 100. Plus, you don't need to have the same number of groomsmen as bridesmaid. I was at a wedding last year that had 4 bridesmaids and 8 or 9 groomsmen. Each girl walked down the aisle with two men on her arm. No one thought anything of it! IT'S YOUR WEDDING! Do whatever you want.
2007-03-28 03:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kathryn M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bottom line is that if you've already asked them to be bridesmaids, then you're stuck with them. Telling them they are no longer bridesmaids would be one of the rudest, meanest things that you could do. If you value them at all as friends, then you're stuck with them.
It's okay, you know, if the sides don't match. I've seen that done plenty of times. Just skip the bridal party dance (they'll be relieved, the bridal party always hates that dance), and have them walk in trios down the aisle for the recessional. Guys get a kick out of escorting a woman on each arm. Don't worry about this, it will be fine!
2007-03-28 03:13:36 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly somebody else can lower back me up, yet i think of that youthful lady decrease than age sixteen must be a junior bridesmaid relatively of a bridesmaid. maximum junior bridesmaids i've got seen are between the a protracted time of 10 and 15, in spite of the incontrovertible fact that some are as youthful as 8 and others are as previous as sixteen or 17. Junior bridesmaid is particularly an suitable functionality for a fifteen-year-previous.
2016-10-20 02:48:31 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"When asking a bridesmaid to step down, try to be as gentle as possible and be honest about your reasons. If she has already paid for her dress, kindly reimburse her -- a few hundred dollars is a bargain for a stress-free wedding day. In any event, keep in mind why bridesmaids exist in the first place. Certainly, they are lovely to look at as they precede the bride down the aisle in their wedding finery, but the real reason we include them is this: on a day as special as your wedding, you want to be surrounded by your closest friends."
- from Weddingchannel.com
Now traditionally there is nothing that says you have to have your future sister in law, new friend or coworker there either.
Perhaps the best route to go is to get everyone together and explain the situation. I am sure that when you present the situation to them they will all understand.
2007-03-27 17:46:06 · answer #6 · answered by Jenn R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would explain to the BM1-3 that you are obliged to use 456 because of the attachments to family, and that as much as you hate to, would they mind awfully if you were unable to have them as your bridesmaids. Tell them that you have to use BM 4 because of family. Tell them you can only have 3 to match the groomsmen number and you would dearly love to have all three of them but could not pick which two of them would make up the other spots, so you hope they understand.
I would try and make it up for them by going out to something with them or taking them to dinner and telling them you feel terrible but these are the decisions one has to make with a small wedding.
It sounds to me like you are a bit too spontaneous with your asking so many people. The role of bridesmaid is a very serious one and people do take it seriously, so you can expect them to be a bit hurt. Try and take the sting out of it by being genuine with your apology and emphasize that since you could not have all of them, you did not want to choose between them.
2007-03-31 06:06:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol i have seen SO many wedding with too large of a wedding party, so im glad you are trying to pare it down! anyway, frankly i think you should use people who you feel close too and it sounds like those are your MOH and BM6. I wouldnt choose the new friend and im not feeling the future sister in law thing. The best make up to me seems like MOH and BM1-3. those were the first you asked and it was for a reason. Maybe you should just closely analyze if you are as close to those people as you think.
2007-03-27 17:37:55 · answer #8 · answered by wne_stl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have already asked the trio, so you should go with them.
If you feel you must include the other ladies, perhaps they will be understanding and serve as hostesses which you will need. It is your special day, do what makes you happy. Best wishes and may you have a long and prosperous marriage.
2007-03-27 18:20:49 · answer #9 · answered by gloroll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just because you USED to be friends with someone doesn't obligate you to give them a special place in your wedding. The wedding party should be composed of people you're close with now... not who you used to chum with. I say get rid of BM 1-3; if they're really your friends they'll understand.
2007-03-27 17:36:42 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋