A question for military personnel or family?

Question

Please forgive me if this is a bit vague.
I'm wondering to what extent a mans personal life is impacted by his career in an elite service (Navy Seals or the like).
How much of his personality (and how he reacts socially) is impacted by what he sees and does as part of his job.
Any opinions would be greatly appreciated.

Answer 1

The life of a Special Ops soldier IS the work !!
The have great pride in what they do-- because they are total commitment personafied and notably the best at what they do that exists in the world !!
And, although they pride themselves on "getting in all in" (the private life, socialization, and chasing the mudane thrill or two)---- they are still about-- only one thing--- the work !!
This is because they HAVE to be !! Anything less could be deadly to themselves and the dude at their elbow !!

Anyone that chooses to be tied in anyway to a Special Ops Dude better be ready to be tied loosely at best -- for while they are AT their career the best that can be hoped for is to be their "mistress" even if married in the biggest ceremony allowed by God--- for their true marriage is to the WORK (the Team) --- a true--- till death us do part term that no words in any church has ever even come close to--- for a heart deep--- core truth !!
Socially, this individual is straight up confident and bold -- with very little toleration for stupidity or shallowness !! But, they are usually extremely aware of and in search of the good times and lightheartedness that they lack within the scope of their WORK !! This often tends to lead them into acts of risky behavior (as seen by the common everyday person) -- because of the ingrained edgyness that has been instilled into their very makeup and character !!
And, once this individual has actually tasted the banquet of chaos known as combat--- there is a place within that individual that will never be shared with another living soul but the others that have feasted from this same table of horrors !!

The soul of these individuals is cut and dried -- and dead set centered on God and country and the destinction between the two can get a little blurred at times for them and often IS one and the same !! And, would be only God that could save the person that tried to come between them and either of these entities !!
God Bless them every one--for they are my brothers-- they stand in the breech that no one else will --- and they do what no one else can--- and they do it for what they feel ---and they feel it deeper than most ever could !! For they ARE the REAPERS of CHAOS --- the true DOGS OF WAR -- and without them the whole damned world would be far less safe than it is --- no matter what anyone else might say about it !!!

Answer 2

I am the daughter, wife, and mother of military personnel, and can tell you from experience, that there is a change in personality if they have a long term commitment to Special Forces. I have watched my son evolve from a happy well adjusted young man, into a serious, and somewhat darker person. I do understand this is part of his training, and know there are things he can never tell me, nor will I ever ask. Do understand this, it is this way with everyone I know in these elite groups. They are a family unto themselves, period. Our role is to love them, support them, and provide as much normalcy, as humanly possible. They have the task of doing things that we honestly do not need to know about, and there is no mistaking the brutality of the nature of the operations that must be done. No matter what, your son, husband, brother, is still the same guy, but with a sharper eye, ear, and has a quicker reaction to potential threats...he is hard wired differently now. He is after all, a soldier, but above all your loved one.

Answer 3

Hi there yellowstonedog,

nice question :)

I have been in the military for 2 years, 1 year in the army, 1 year in the Air Force. Personal Life is affected, yes to a certain degree due to the physical activities and stay-ins (where we are required to stay in the camp, sleep)

After events such as weapons training then cleaning, forest outfield trainings where we have sleep in the wild (around snakes and wild boars, spiders! really big ones! and lotsa mosquitos) , ...after those events, even if we are given permisson to go out, the mood just isn't there. The mind is yearning but the body is not willing.

If we do wrong things, might even get punished and given extra duties to get weekends burnt.

Socially, I have to admit my views of the world changed quite alot before and after my millitary days. Those were some of the toughest times I have been through, and respect to those who have been through it longer than I have. I can't really descirbe it, but I can say it's like a person who tasted a super sour sweet and knowing that it is very sour. When someone else comes along who hasn't tasted such a sour sweet tells him that he's not afraid of sour things......ya, roughly that's the feeling.

Personality changes, most become less wild, some become more hardworking, some become paranoid, some become lazy....it all depends. The true raw personality comes out in each one during military days.It's cruel but you get to know yourself better, what you can and cannot do.

hmm yes, many people get injured...me too, got an injury, maybe for life. many of my friends too. but then, that's life.

:) hope that helps my friend.

Answer 4

I wanted to give the perspective of a spouse. My husband has had several special duties (I include recruiting in this and duty with the Presidential Helicopter Squadron).

The bad part in all of this has been that my husband takes his job very seriously. He has a had time saying no. By this I mean that he works with people that will use any excuse to take time off from work, miss training, skip duties, and so on. My husband refuses to do to this. That leaves me with a lot to do and sometimes feeling left out.

Then there are the things that he just can't talk about. He tells me and other people what he does, and he gets a lot of questions. But, there are somethings that he just can't answer. He does tell me things, but then I can't talk about it. This can become touchy.

Stress in these situations is a whole other topic. I really worry about my husband. He has broken out in stress rings and had a lot of sleepless nights. Me too.

On the other hand, it truly think that all of this has made us appreciate our family a lot more. We know how much each of sacrifices for the other. Our children are big helpers and treat other children with respect. We do a lot of things together and actually enjoy the time we have as a family. Even our soon to be teenage daughter doesn't mind to be around us.

To sum, I think special duties are what you make them. I think you have to remember that the person going to work everyday is doing to not just for themselves but for you and the country. You have to be a team and do a lot of talking. You also have to remember that there are just things that are and cannot be talked about. There are also times that the service members just need time to relax and just know that you are there.

I love being a military spouse. Yes it is a lot of work, and it is complicated by the duties my husband has been on, but in the end we are together.

Answer 5

its different for everybody but just remember that the training for the SEALS and Green Beret's and forces like them are long and take alot of time and thats time in a very stressful environment and then its a life full of secretcy long stressfull work days/months, and almost always the possibility of death now the family suppoert groups for those units are the best in the military however they also typically have the highest devoirce rate in the military so just keep that in mind but if you know sombody who wants to do it give them all the support you can and if its you i wish you the best of luck with it

Answer 6

Depends on the person. Most function quite well and can compartmentalize the areas of their lives.

My own husband doesn't have any problems from what he's seen and had to do on the job.

Answer 7

It all depends on the person in my opinion my work stays at work and the family time is FAMILY TIME.

Answer 8

no idea about this , but my sister s father in law is a Military officer.He s a gentle man and is very displined .He likes every thing to be in his own way on time .:

Answer 9

it depends on the person,some people are able to seperate the job from 'home life' and others aren't

Answer 10

if you plan to do the seals...your personal life will suffer...