My 6 year old needs a male-figure in his life. His father died when he was 18 months old.?

Question

I've thought about Big Brothers, but I'm scared we will get someone unsafe. Any ideas?

Answer 1

I can sympathize. My daughter's mother is not really in her life much right now. Luckily I am able to turn to the women in my family. My mother, and Aunt, and cousin have been great role models for her. I have also put her in Girl Scouts and she gets a lot of good interaction with them. The truth is that all children need good role models both male and female. You can also look to friends. If you have a good male friend that you trust ask them if they can help out. Also look at churches and community groups. I know it can be scary, it is for me. Just make sure that if you go to some kind of program make sure they screen the people involved. Most do these days. I check the website and Big Brothers does. Even then always trust your instincts. If you feel uneasy about a person you can always stop them seeing your son.

Answer 2

I think the Big Brothers - Big Sisters organization is a great one!

Why don't you call your area organization and inquire about their background checks and stuff? That way, you can be sure they are doing their best to screen out the bad guys. I'm sure you won't be the first parent to ever ask such a question!

You also sign up your son for a baseball or soccer or basketball team or something. That way, for at least a couple of hours a week, he will be supervised and taught by a (probably) male coach. But, your son won't get the one-on-one time like he'd get with a Big Brother. However, it would still be a great opportunity for him to learn "boy stuff" and also how to respect and admire and look up to adult men.

Answer 3

Here is the process that the Big Brothers must go through before they are accepted:
Complete application.
After they complete a short form online, a Big Brothers Big Sisters staff member will contact them.
They will have to:
Provide two references
Participate in an in-person interview
Go through a background check

Answer 4

My dad died when I was 4, I got a big brother when I was 6 until I was about 10. I think it was the best thing my mom ever did. I say go for it. I think it made the world of difference. I would have never have thrown a baseball or played football if I didn't have someone teach me.

Answer 5

Well boys dont really need a male figure in their life. I mean i was raised without one and i turned out well. So if you want a normal boy who does normal little boy stuff then get a male figure. But i didnt have a male figure and i turned out nice shy sensitive and well more (not all the time but) i am nicer to women than guys with a male figure. But there are some boys that go either way nice or normaly boyish with or without a male figure.

Answer 6

You could have a male family member or close friend be a male role model. My kids' dad was here, just not very involved with them until after our divorce (joint custody made him step up and be involved). My sons were (and still are) very attached to my dad and brothers. I am now married to a wonderful man who is a great role model to my children. They are all very attached to him. The important thing is to have him around men who are good role models.

Answer 7

Sports are a great idea. This provides him with positive male role models (coaches) as he grows up.

Also, a great resource is the Boys & Girls Club. They provide morning and afternoon daycare in a supervised environment, in which, he can interact with male volunteers.

Take advantage of extended family if you have it. Uncles, grandpa, cousins, etc.

Also, express your concerns to a school Administrator and they may assist by placing him in a classroom with a male teacher next year.

Also, there may be things you can do together that will provide him with healthy interaction with men while you are present. Consider hiking groups, etc.

Good luck!

Answer 8

I don't think he needs a male figure (sorry about your loss). If he needs one he'll find one, another family member, or teacher, or friend etc. Does he even want to do big brothers? I don't attend church, but maybe if you put him in sunday school he'll find a male bond. Good luck! Don't discount yourself one great parent is enough. Most kids don't have the type of parents that would care to ask about them anyways.

Answer 9

I'm a single mom to a little boy, and while I don't have any reason to believe his dad won't be in his life, if he's not I'll look into BB as well.

Give them a call, ask about their screening process. Express your concerns. It won't be anything they've not heard of!

According to their website (the US one, I'm assuming Canada is the same), they require two references, an in-person interview, and a background check. This should filter out most of the creeps. Insist on meeting the guy, spending some time with him and your boy if you can. Any creeped-out feelings you get, you can opt out.

http://www.bbbs.org/site/c.diJKKYPLJvH/b.2286701/k.8FF2/Be_a_Big_Brother.htm

Answer 10

I believe the big brothers organization screens the people who work with them. Give them a call to see what their guidelines are. Good Luck!