I am a student and a stay at home mom of 2 girls and a baby on the way. my bf of 6 yrs is the only one working and so he likes to hang out with his freinds alot. he says i am a bad mom because i ask him to watch the girls(only one is biologically his)so i can run to town 15 min. away and go by myself. does that make me a bad mom? i think he is selfish and not sure if i should stay or go(with him)?? he will not eve propose to me!!! any advice?? he says i yell to much. i am stressed being with kids all the time and never getting time to my self. not even to go to the b-room!!
2007-03-27 16:16:54 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i think you both have to mature up, that's the prob. when u have kids at a young age without marriage. You both made your bed now you have to lie in it. Yeah your right he is selfish but he is not going to change cause if he wanted to he would have already. he hangs out with his friends cause he wants to enjoy his life, have a good time and watching the kids and helping you out is just not his priority at the moment, but how are u going to leave, who is going to support you if u don't work, think its easier said than done "to get rid of him". Anyways i really doubt that he is going to change, and u cant change a man unless he wants to change, so no your not selfish you just don't have the proper support system that u need but i don't think that is going to change either. In the future it will be hard for you to find a man that will be willing to love you and your 3 kids, so u need to patch things up with this one, for once stop yelling at him and go see a free church/marriage counselor they can help.
2007-03-27 16:25:48 · answer #1 · answered by ... 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Im so sorry about the situation you are in...'only the one that is biologically his'? honey if he loves you he's gotta be a father to all your children! and if he hangs out with his freinds to blow off some steam while u look after the two children, why cant he do the same 4 u? leave him! its not that he is immature it just the way he is and u cant take the chance that 'maybe' he will grow up eventually... i no this will prolly piss you off, but why did u choose to have kids with this guy without a commitment frm him? if you had waited u would have not had to deal with that fact that these kids are gonna be affected by the break-up...anyways no use of that now...
be strong, do it for the kids, HEis selfish and making YOU feel bad for it.... why is it only bad when you yell and act self-centered (you have every to right to be! u study and raise his kids) yet he is the one passing the judgemnt... listen to your head! cos you heart is too weak to make such a desicion,,,, not like he helps you any...
find your inner strength an then u can truly begin your life and hopefully finds a man who wants to share your life and your children and all the nitty gritties that come with it
good luck!
2007-03-28 00:07:03 · answer #2 · answered by Nadz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW, what an insensitive & CHAUVANISTIC jerk! He just likes having you around, my dear. You take care of the house, you take care of the kids...now, I'm all for letting him have relaxation time & time to do his own thing because he IS the bread winner & all, but oh, PLEASE! You can't even ask him to watch the kids for a few minutes to run to the store? I LOVE my trips to the grocery store; I stay at home too, and my guy KNOWS I need a break now & then too from the monotony that is the house-hold from time to time! Your sanity needs to be maintained, too, ya know! He needs to apprecaite you a bit more for all you do around the house & for the kids & him, coz being a mom is a FULL TIME JOB, too! It just doesn't pay in cash. If nobody is going to appreciate you, hon, then you need to make a tough decision: either talk to him about it (don't get flustered or fly off the handle; tell him exactly how you feel in a CALM & striaght-forward manner) and see if you can have a constructive two-way conversation about it (and make DAMN sure you get an apology for him saying such a hurtful thing as calling you a bad mom!!) or I would say to take your life & your children elswhere. They do not need to see you treated like "the help." You need to be their hero & you can't do that w/ some jerk around telling you your a bad mom every time you want a 15 minute breather from the kids. You DESERVE better & although it'll be one TOUGH journey to go it alone, my dear, those children & your self esteem are WELL worth the cost of losing the dead weight that is an unappreciative JERK for a boyfriend. Best of luck to you!
2007-03-27 23:31:17 · answer #3 · answered by Spiral_Dancer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is the one on the way his? I know the feeling of not having a minute to yourself,but i think you should consider birth control after this one.Maybe a part time job,it would give you more control of your life.It sucks that he dosen't understand but he's a guy and they usually don't understand our needs,and he is supporting every one at the time.Chances are he's probly stressed as much as you are...but he gets to leave!I feel your pain,but a job=money,money=a baby sitter.And yes if he wants to be with you that means he's taking everything that comes along.It's good that he's working but the buck dosen't stop there.Praise him for that ,but tell him you are at the max stress level,and you need a break! It might sound crazy but when you come home make sure the house is clean and hot food on the table ,making yourself wifee material and showing that you indeed are busting your *** might just get him feeling like your worth the ring.Good luck!
2007-03-27 23:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by freejluvlildee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not a bad mom because you ask the man whom I assume you share a residence with to take care of the children that reside with the two of you. In fact if your a student and a stay at home mom It is my opinion that he would be mature enough to volunteer to sit the kids while you go out for a bit. That answers that one
Now on to the other one lets see, he likes to hang out with his friends alot. you have been involved with him for 6 yrs and he hasnt asked you to marry him. Hmmmm sounds to me you know the answer to your question you are just looking for support.
Thing is now you have a child involved, my advice to you is seek counseling with him. Find out his intensions. Then make up your mind...
d
2007-03-27 23:24:48 · answer #5 · answered by drtoolman 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This guy is no good. Find a way to take care of your children and continue college. When you graduate, you will agree it was worth the hassles you went through as you look back. Find a good day care center for your kids. Think as positively as you possibly can. That will make life alot easier for you.
2007-03-27 23:24:22 · answer #6 · answered by rubyred 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy does not sound too mature. I mean you are nowhere near being a bad mom. you are a student plus a mom. you want to better yourself obvioulsy. you know what just close your legs or why in the world didn't you use protection. if your boyfriend is man enouight to have sex with you without protection then he should be man enough to deal with the consequenses. have a serious talk with him and let him know that you are not willing to put up with his immaturity. I mean do you want to be with a man or a boy?
2007-03-28 00:23:35 · answer #7 · answered by bettygirl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't seem very nice and respectful of you. I think you should kick him to the curb. I mean, sure he means well, but I mean if he tells you that you're a bad mom, what kind of guy is he? A jerk! And to think, he won't even propose! Find another boyfriend.
2007-03-27 23:21:30 · answer #8 · answered by coffee! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he have to kick you in the back to tell you he does not want you? Get a job and make arrangements for you kids and find yourself a decent job.
2007-03-27 23:20:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh honey he is not worth it! If he treats you like that you should leave him! If he really loved you he would want to make you happy and not put you down all the time... that does not make you a bad mom!!!
2007-03-27 23:22:28 · answer #10 · answered by FunnyBunny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋