How do I get over my first boyfriend, who cheated on me and couldn't care less?

Question

I feel like I've lost my sense of self because I was naive and gave absolutely everything to him, my secrets, dreams, hopes, my heart. Plus, I helped him for four years to avoid committing suicide and he's better now. He's dating another girl and says things like he loves me when I'm feeling bad but could care less when I confront him about cheating, claiming he only did it once when I've had a few girls come up to me and admit that they slept with him. Plus, he spilled our sex life to all his friends when he promised he wouldn't and now the whole school spreads rumors about me being a slut. I feel like he's ruined my life but I can't hate him because he was the first guy I ever loved, even if he is a cheating, lying jerk.

Answer 1

The reason you still feel something for him that you can't tolerant, is basiclly because you havn't learned your lesson yet. No BS. Look back at this drama filled relationship and the fact of the matter is you were used. Not to say he what'd it that way, but when you sell your self short don't expect anyone else to pay the debt for you. Be careful who you love, because your never going to get over him, you can "move on" only if you give up expecting anything from him, but as far as not feeling anything for the man it isn't going to happen. The only way you can make it a feeling you can accully tolerate is if you understand that all you did here was hate yourself with him. No BS again but your not realizing how much better then this guy you really are, how much more you have to offer, and the fact, better waits for you out there. Why you can't believe/understand tells me you got in this relationship just for "love" its not that simple. I wish it was a simple game of true love, but the fact is you were far away from true love in the senario. So I'm doubting how well your sense of self was before you starting this horriable ordeal. Now your forced to start from were you started, before the relationship... only this time you have this situation to beat yourself up about, don't! You got out, you proved I hope to yourself that your capiable of great love, and on top of that your wiser. Time to use that to your advantage and start to acully think about you for once, you don't have to worry about him anymore, its you thats the main concern. Now act like it!