My bf wants me to have a baby with him, what should i do?

Question

Ok, So my bf and i have only been datin for awhile and now hes telling me that he wants us to have a baby. I am only 15 and hes 16 going on 17. I told him, i don't want a baby rite now or senior year like my friend. and he asked why not? and i told him that we would need money and all the baby stuff for it and even if it did ever happen my parents would kick me out. He also wants me to live with him.....what can i do to make him stop bringing this up?? I have told him a million times to stop bringing it up but he just doesn't listen. I love him and he loves me but this is just too much....any suggestions???

Answer 1

This boy doesn't have your best interests at heart, or anyone else's for that matter, including the potential baby. He's just obsessed with the idea of having a baby! Tell him no, and not to bring it up again or he's history. And be sure and use birth control EVERY TIME. No way do you want to get stuck with a baby at the age of 15, with a teenage Dad who'll probably check out of the relationship when he sees how hard it is to raise one.

Answer 2

Wow...honey, I'm close to your age, and that is just ridiculous. My boyfriend and I are really serious as well and we've been together for about 7 months, but the pressure is nonexsistent. If your boyfriend really loves you, he needs to respect your decisions and not push for certain things. Really huge decisions like marriage, children, living environments...he needs to listen to your opinion on things and if he doesn't, no matter how much you love each other, it won't work out.

Relationships take communication. You can say something but if it falls on deaf ears, it's not communicated. Tell him what you think again in a calm and rational manner. Tell him your reasons for why you don't want children at such a young age. Listen to him and his reasons for why he DOES want children so badly. If somehow you two can reach a general acceptance and midground on the issue, go from there and take it one step at a time. Focus on a common goal like graduating from highschool or getting married.

But, if he can't respect your wishes and who you are, the relationship is unhealthy and the best thing for you to do is end it.

Answer 3

NO! You will regret it later in life... Plus, you should be married first. You never know where this guy is going to end up, and you just might not stay together forever... It is a really bad idea, there are way too many single teen parents. Don't be another statistic. Be smarter than that. No offense, but both of you are not mature enough to handle a child. It changes peoples lives. You would both have to drop out of school and get jobs. Stay in School!

Answer 4

You need to get away from this guy NOW. He has messed up priorities and HE WILL ONLY DRAG YOU DOWN. I was in the same situation once and I did have a baby at 16 (I'm in my late 20's now). Tho I love my kid - I REALLY wish I would have finished school & just finished being a kid. Don't rob yourself - or let anyone else rob you of a future. It is very hard to have kids. I had to drop out get my GED & go to work. I really with I would have waited so that I could have gotten a better education & the means to provide for my family better. GET AWAY FROM THIS GUY NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

you sound very wise, if he loves and respects you, he won't continue to push the subject. Obviously money is a huge answer and your senior year is so much fun with proms and graduation. you have to think about the looks you will get from people and whether or not you can handle it, as well as who can help support you and what you will do if you and your boyfriend break up. tell him if he wants a baby he will have to wait until you are ready. also factor in whether or not he lives on his own or with his family. do you want to go to college? what about a career after school? it seems to me neither of you are ready for that kind of commitment. Think about it, and listen to your instincts!

Answer 6

That is totally whacked, and you need to leave him immediately.


There is no possible way this is a good sign for anything at all --- this will only get worse, and there is NO WAY you guys (and it seems you know this) should be having a baby at your age! Especially CHOOSING to do so!

Ask yourself this: would an emotionally stable person who is 16 years old and unable to care for himself or a family decide he wants a baby?

why would he do this?
there is literally NO healthy reason why he is pushing this issue.

GET OUT NOW.

Answer 7

well i had a baby 3 months ago and it is very hard..and me and the babys father was together for 4 years before we had the baby and now he doesnt even help me raise him...its like doing it by my self..so sometimes baby*s can break relationships up. And plus you are too young to be having a baby..wait a few more years..IF he really loves you he will adventeny..(sp?) stop saying you to get pregnant right now

Answer 8

If he is THIS pushy, maybe he isn't the right guy for you.
But also if he really is a nice guy ad just wants a wife and kid, stay with him.
Re assure him that you're only a tenth/eleventh grader, and its too soon for a baby and to move out of the house, you need to go to collage and get a proper education. if your school finds out your pregnant, they'll most likely kick you out, so stay safe, wear a condom
don't got a condom?
use duct tape.
don't got no duct tape?
use a zip lock bag.
don't got no zip lock bag?
use some tinfoil.
don't got no tinfoil?
don't be so poor lady.

Answer 9

Hello, your 15, live your life a little, don't worry or even think about having babies yet, the guy just wants to tie you down... You will change alot in the next several years and so will him, just say no... Tell your parents what he is requesting of you, I am sure that they will shut him up, or at least give him a lecture about it...

Answer 10

It sounds like your bf is insecure. What I mean by this is that he is pressuring you to commit to more than you are willing. Asking someone to have your baby at a young age is expecting a lot. You definitely sound more mature and wise than him. I'm not trying to put him down in any way, but you have very valid points. Having a child at a young age takes away your childhood, restricts you in many ways, is a financial burden, plus puts you in a situation that your parents won't accept very easy. You are both young, even if you have been dating for a while. Saying this you need to experience life more and enjoy growing up and making memories. There is no need to rush. Why someone at that young of age would consider having a child is very mind boggling. Please don't take this in a negative manner. Is he financially stable or will you have to live off his family? Do you even get along with the family enough to burden them with two extra mouths to feed? He needs to listen to you and understand where you are coming from. Yes you love him, but if he really loved you, then he wouldn't make you make such a big sacrifice. He really needs to think this through. You both need to enjoy each others company and your bond beyond thinking of that type of future. It's ok to want to have a future with kids, but finish school, get a part-time job and see how things play out. You sound very wise for your age. Let him know that pressuring you might lead to a breach in your communication in your relationship which eventually might lead to an ugly argument and words might be exchanged that can lead to your separation. If he doesn't listen, then you need to let him know that this is all too much and if he won't stop, then you need to go home for a break. It's going to get too stressful for you and you are going to regret being with him if he doesn't. It really is too much for him to ask of you or anyone that isn't ready. I hope that you stay strong for your sake and stand up to him. Don't compromise yourself for him. He won't be the one to carry the baby, get his body stretched out of proportion, and the main person to take care of this child for the rest of its life. Yes men do help at some point, but a lot find it overwhelming to deal with the stress, pressure and lack of sleep that come with having a newborn, including women. He needs to be around someone that has a newborn to get a better feel for what it is really like. Having a baby is easy, anyone can, but it takes a HUGE effort on your part to help your child grow into a decent person. Can he really say that he can commit to this? Honesty I don't know any that can. Most of our friends from high school that married young and had children are divorced now and some relationship are not pretty. Yes some work out, but a majority don't. Please be strong for yourself. If it is meant to be, then it will happen in time when you are ready. Don't give up on the life you have. Enjoy it while you can and what life has to offer you as a growing teenager. Life is too short to add more complications and stress. You don't need more stress than getting through school right now. If you need more help, please try talking to a counselor or an adult that you are comfortable with. I would really hate for you to do something against your beliefs just to please someone that might not necessarily be there later. I wish you the best.