I am sensitive. However I am in my 30's and know the world well enough to know that my sensitive approach doesn't make myself heard with alot of other people. So, depending on the person, I can be quite blunt (not rude.. just say what i have to say straight up and not worry about their feelings). Some people are agressive and the senstive people have to step it up to be heard. Is it wrong for me to dish out what I can't take????
2007-03-27 15:19:04 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I am not blunt with everyone.. it depends on the person I am dealing with. Also, I am not a rude person.. to anyone
2007-03-27 15:19:37 · update #1
Remain you! Never lose you! Stay true to you! Accept others for whom they are!
2007-03-27 15:28:29 · answer #1 · answered by wise 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course not Ma some people are more difficult to communicate with and if it takes being a little bit more agressive to get your point across so be it. Its wrong to pick on a submissive type though.
2007-03-27 22:23:26 · answer #2 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well what your doing is not being rude, its taking up for yourself which is something you have the right to do. If people dont listen the first time they deserve you being blunt to them. As you said it depends on the person and the situation.
So yeah and no, it just depends on the situation. =P
2007-03-27 22:23:09 · answer #3 · answered by Ashley B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I too am sensitive. Was really quiet before but now can hold my own and say my own thoughts and opinions. I'm about your age... and understand your predicament... because I'm still the same person, just more talkative than before... but I still have marks of a reserved personality... and don't always say something when something has to be said. I know what it is like to be among the more reserved among others that can be more aggressive... and then you feel left out, perhaps? I sometimes crack a couple words... but most of the time the conversations and get-togethers end up me kinda being lost in the dust... as if I'm just a spectator.
I too can be blunt... and say what I have to say... but when I'm among the aggressive more talkative people... I only say what I have to say and nothing more... or... nothing at all.... Usually because they are more talkative... and I am soft-spoken...whatever I had said is quickly forgotten because of the excitement and talk of others.
It's okay to just say a few words... but I would seriously put some thought into being careful what you say... because it could either offend someone, hurt someone, or be misunderstood and taken the wrong way... in ways that you never intended. So whatever you say... be sure that with this group, what you say is conservative. If you must be blunt... I would do that around people you know well and are more like you... because they might be more understanding that you are nervous or unsure of yourself or what-have-you.
Among aggressive friends (and I'm thinking of two right now), I just make sure that I'm smiling... sometimes I put up a good front... and just look interested in what they are talking about and look like an interested listener.
It's okay to not say that many words. Perhaps these are your friends, but not ones that you would really say more words to.
These aggressive friends of mine.. they always get together for an evening dinner with me included. I talk with them bluntly about things... but just to sort of have a conversation.
I also have another group of friends... where I am in a singing group... and there I've found that I don't talk as bluntly as when I first started. I guess because being with the group for 7 years... I got to know a lot of them... and their mannerism is quite different than my 'aggressive' friends. In chorus, I don't have to step it up to be heard... because everyone is so mellow and calm and I guess because we all love music, we are all good listeners. You shouldn't need to step it up to be heard with friends. I used to think so and used to try so hard to be heard and be a part of the group. With my more loudly friends... I no longer try to compete with them... of course I would like to say more to them... or just plain say more for my sake... but now I just go for dinner, listen... and enjoy the company. Maybe you could have another group like I do where you would feel more a part of the conversations.
It's not wrong to dish out what you can't take... but why even risk it? ... You'll always be wonder what reaction you are going to get. You won't know. Well, you can know (in the ways you word things...) but even if you carefully chose your words with great care with the best intentions... you still can't control how they react.
I've been there. I also hang out with older ladies... they are good listeners and love talking with me and finding out what I am doing and how I am doing.
Anyways... I hope this helps. You are unique. Perhaps you can work on not being so blunt... but if it's something that you can't help... maybe find someone who looks like they could use a friend... or a quiet person... you won't be competing to be heard there! =) And I know that whatever you end up saying and dishing out, you'll be dishing out what you can take.
2007-03-27 22:39:56 · answer #4 · answered by blueskies 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes. it is very wrong. if you can stand the heat get out of the kitchen. how many sensitive people have your hurt by being blunt??????
2007-03-27 22:23:17 · answer #5 · answered by am46d 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It depends on your personal code of ethics and the subjective opinions of those around you.
2007-03-27 22:23:01 · answer #6 · answered by otacon24051 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No its not! You are changing your communication style to effectively get across what you need to.
Not everyone is polite enough to hush up when the shy person speaks.
2007-03-27 22:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by Gerri F 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
KW - Karma Works
2007-03-27 22:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by htuch2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is wrong. It is better to keep thy mouth shut than embarrass the self and look like an idiot.
2007-03-27 22:28:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
dishing out is wrong.
I have found most rude,mocking,hateful people can't take the dishing out.
the world is evil and crude.
2007-03-27 22:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by robert p 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋