Please read this long problem and help me.....?

Question

If you are in a F*** friends situation but you start to like the guy (girl if you're a guy) would you end it right away? You are having fun and things were going great but it starts to feel like a "real" relationship. This happened to me. We act like its real, going out to the movies once, dinner, lunch, he always sleeps over (2x week) or I go to his house. (but not as much cuz his roomate is annoying but my house is empty!) We talk almost everyday. BUT we were talking about a mutual friend who is cheating on his girlfriend and I said it was wrong. (obvious!) He said how would you feel if I were sleeping with others? I was honest and told him i wouldn't like it. He reminded me that we aren't "really going out" ....i told him yeah, i know but would you care if it were me? He said he wouldn't care, i should enjoy life. WE talked a bit more i said so i have your "permission" and you wouldn't care? he said he wouldn't want to hear about it though. SO then...

So we talked til I left for work. That's where I am now. I am off soon but i won't be talking to him tonight. We have plans to hook up tomorrow cuz we both got the day off. Should i just end it there. I don't want to but i don't want to get hurt more than i am now. Tomorrow is coming fast so I need to make up my mind. From his words i find it clear he doesn't like me like so should i just cut my losses and tell him its done? what do you thnk about the situation? Please no comments like F*** friends are a bad idea...i know that now

Thanks for all the replies. I hope I make the right choice. I couldn't pick a best so i put it to a vote. Thanks to all of you.

Answer 1

listen, my cousin just went though something like this. she thought she could keep her heart out of it and convinced herself it wasn't in it. women just aren't built that way. she later realized she really cared for the guy but he was only in it for the safe booty call. it will never end unless you end it. you need to decide if your heart is ready to be gobbled up for his pleasure. it sounds like you know that and don't want that so yes, i'd end it and not hang out any more. it's clear you both want different things in life aren't on the same page. that's ok. but don't spend time with him anymore because he will never change. my cousin realized that and has finally moved on....he of course is still trying to shag her and he's still only looking for the shag.

Answer 2

actually, being **** friends (FF's) isnt a bad idea, butt being FF's for so long IS a bad idea......NOT talking about it for so long is ALSO a bad idea,....and what's happend is the reason why....it starts BEING real....(and it IS real to you...NOW!)

.....the fact that he "wouldn't want to hear about it" if you do have sex with someone else says he has some feelings for you too but, hes more afraid to change things and possibly have to give up his freedom. I wouldnt cut things off completely, take a break from him, see where YOUR feelings really are, (make sure its not just your **** talking!) and then tell him all you have in your heart, and if he still had the same FF's attitude, tell him thanks for the fun y'all had (cuz it was I hope!) .....then tell him you cant do it like that anymore because of your feelings, but tell him if he REALLY changes his mind, for him to call you and you'd be willing to SIT & discuss it, ....and that you really wish he would because you two have a real good thing going and it'd be a shame to let it all go. Give him a hug, a HOT kiss, and leave. Dont wait, - but carry out your life as normal - less him - if he wants back in your life he'll call - if not, his loss.....he'll hear how youre well youre doing from his cheating buddy....

Answer 3

Having been in this situation I can relate. Have a heart to heart with your friend. Tell him how you feel, if he can't handle a closer relationship then you will probably end it. But he may surprise you and want a closer tie to you. Being honest always is the best way. I fell hard for a friend that was only supposed to be a casual thing. Being "just friends" will be hard but that is a decision for the both if you.

Answer 4

Maybe everyone has been here b4.. or not.. but hey you are now and ill help you out.. well first you dont **** someone enless you think they look good.. cause if you think there ugly and you **** them a lot.. thats just gross..lol so there is some kind of possible relationship here anyways.. and he must like you.. now he said he wouldnt like to hear about it.. haha that means he likes you jeez.. and well you have to be sure you either like him or you just dont want him sticking his d*** in another girl and then sticking it into you.. that is gross and you shouldnt do that. and we can all see why that would bother you... or do you realy have feelings for you to when you think of him withsome else it hurts your heart.. so after that.. you should just point out all the good things about you two to him.. and get him to agree..like ask dont we talk well together.. dont we have so much fun together.. isnt our sex so great.. lol then say so why dont we just go out.. officialy.. id try that b4 i just let him go.. i mean you like him right.. see where it goes.. alright good luck.

Answer 5

Lady, I don't what you call it when the two of you going out for dinner, movies, and sleeping over is not a real relationship. What is it? If he admit it that is he is seeing or sleeping with another woman beside you. Like you said, take your lose now and get over the hurt while its not a major thing with you. My opinion is just tell him its over and thank for the good time we had. Bye, bye with a smile and walk away.

Answer 6

Yea, this is why it is so hard for friends of the opposite sex to BE friends. Always seems one of them wants more or that fine line gets crossed - yes, it is obvious he still thinks you 2 are just "friends". Clearly, he has no clue that females get emotionally involved once sex enters the picture. He also doesn't seem to have much respect for girls by seeing them as sex things. I would tell him that you did get involved, and regret loosing a friendship over it, but it would be too difficult to pretend his sex adventures with others would not bother you. As a friend, you may want to warn him that sex for girls is not the same as guys, and this will most likely happen to him again.

Answer 7

don't end it right away...right now you guys sounds more like "friends with benifits" which always works out for one who isn't emotionally attached in a relationship point of view. what you need to do is back off the hook ups for a while and concentrate on something else...to him it may be more like a no strings attached thing but you have your feelings and heart to consider...then again if he asked you how you'd feel if he "cheated" first he could be testing whether or not you like him as he may like you, if it were like this he most likely would have watched closley to your reaction of what you said...so i would say stop hanging out with him as much and see how he acts...if he seems unbothered by it then he's not interested but watch for masked dissappointment on him...people can hide it very well

Answer 8

I've been there, definitely get out of it while you still can. Once you enter in to a "friends with benefits" relationship guys seem to write you off as a potential gf because they already have everything they want without the commitment of sticking to that one person. Its hard and he will miss your company, but if feelings are getting involved its starting to get messy....

Good luck I hope it works out:o)

Answer 9

I believe you answered your own question re: f*ck buddies. You aren't "really going out??" What else would you call it? He just wants to keep all of his options open and have his cake and eat it too. He's just using you. I'd drop him like a hot potato and never look back.

Answer 10

By the sounds of it you really like this guy and want it to be a relationship inside but dont want hime to know, but in his eyes he just wants to be able to call you when ever he wants to have a good time... This is kinda hard to ask for advice because its really up to you... Do you want to be a friends with benifits or do you want to have a real relationship wth someone... If you want the relationship i dont think you are going to get it from him...