2 year old driving me and my husband insane...anyone else have this problem?

Question

My daughter is 2 and will be three in June. For the last I'd say year she has been driving us nuts. She wont listen to us. She cries all the time about everything!!! Both my husband and I don't know what to do. We have one other daughter and she is 8 months. She will not sit still. She will not watch t.v. She is already going to be three and I cannot get her to sit down and watch a movie or even a cartoon for 10 minutes. She gets out of the house everyday because she goes to daycare. The babysitter told me she is the leader over there and all of the kids listen to her even though she is the youngest! Is it normal for a kid that is almost three to not be able to sit down and watch t.v.? We put her in her room constantly and she comes out whenever she wants because there isnt a lock on the door. I told my husband that she needs to stay in there until I tell her to come out even though she has stopped crying but he said I need to let her out if she stops crying. I don't know what to do

Answer 1

That's pretty much what my husband and I experience daily with my 2 years old son, it's so dramatic.!!

Answer 2

This is called the "terrible two's" I've been there twice and now the youngest is 16 months old and starting that phase. This is what I learned after the first kid...you are the parent. Not the child. Your job is to enforce the rules. My daughter has been learning this week what a time out is. She cries, but she knows from the trials of this last week that if she gets out of the "time out chair" (which is facing a wall, no tv or toys in sight) before she is calm, she is picked up and placed back in it. You cannot let the children run the home. Be the parent. It's super hard to see those puppy dog eyes when they tear. I sometimes have to leave the room while she cries it out. But if you stick with it, stick to your guns if you say "no" eventually, the child will follow suit. Even if you have to keep placing her in the time out over and over until she gets it, don't give up. It's hard, but they need the rules and discipline. Hope this helps. You have to nip this in the bud and take control before the 8 month old starts this phase. The baby will learn from her sis as far as appropriate behavior and what will and will not be tolerated by you. You and your husband have to be consistent. If all else fails, watch a few episodes of "The Nanny." They had a lot of helpful ideas. I made my older two who are 5 and 8 watch a couple episodes last year. It was then that they understood why I make them stick to my rules.

Answer 3

You cannot seriously expect your two year old to sit and watch tv! They have a very short attention span at this age. I recommend you buy a book called Caring for Your Child from Birth to age 5. This is a really good book written by the American Pediatrics association and it will give you a lot of insight on your daughter. Your daughter may be feeling a little left out due to her new sibiling also. I think you need to pick up some other books too and read up on your 2 year old and what she is experiencing with each milestone. I have 5 kids, and I want you to know that parenting does not come with a manual. That is why you should read read read and take parenting classes to learn all about your child. I do know that you form a child between birth and age 3, and how you raise your daughter now will come back to haunt you in her teenagers years. Good luck!

Answer 4

putting her in her room is not time out. time out is in the corner with nothing to do, nothing to play with. make her sit in time out for 2 1/2 minutes. If she is still crying and throwing a fit after the time then tell her she must stay till she stops. if you have a high chair or booster chair use that and turn it to the corner. If she can get out of that then you will have to make her stay. If she gets out then you put her back in and the time starts over. It may take 45 min since she is not used to it but you cannot give in! You gotta show them who is boss. many children are not interested in TV and I can understand how that is hard but thats just something you gotta live with
shes the leader at day care? great! shes a born leader but she cant get away with being naughty! or you will be going crazy even worse in 3 more years.
Also-make sure you are giving her a lot of love and attention. maybe shes a little jealous of the baby. spend time with her reading, let her help you do chores and make a sticker chart for her and hang it on the fridge.
Also remember - they dont call it the terrible twos for nothing
good luck. : )

Answer 5

at this age they do what you are letting them get away with. you admit that you let her out of the room when she stops crying. at almost 3 she can understand her punishment. if she throws a tantrum she needs to sit in timeout till she is quiet and then do her 3 minutes.

this sounds like many children in my preschool classes over the years. it doesn't matter if they are the youngest or the smallest physically, they will still be the leader...they will not back down and basically bully their friends at this young age. each time it is because the children are spoiled and used to getting everything they want - normally with a tantrum.

putting her in her place, and letting her know that she is only 3 is important now. set rules and follow through. be consistent and let herk now what is going on. and stay calm and rational and don't make excuses for her behavior - especially not in front of her!

it is important that when she wants to do something and you said no you keep that - even if she wants to do something SO sweet and helpful you put your foot down and say, "I appreciate you wanting to help me BUT I said you need to bring your cup to the refrigerator now."

Good Luck. SD

Answer 6

This may or may not be normal 2 year old behavior. My son has mild ADD and I have twins so I had his sister to compare things with. I always knew that he had some of the ADD traits even when he was very little. Sometimes a mother knows first when there may be a problem even though others tell you that this is normal. I would talk to your doctor or a therapist about your concerns and see what they say. My friends daughter has autism and she knew at around this age because she was in her own little world not interested in T.V. or was either very bossy with kids or off on her own if she didn't get her way.

Answer 7

Take a deap beath & try to relax get a baby sitter or even two. The fact that she won't sit still is perfectly normal. Tv is not going to be her thing. She is obviously active and a leader have you let her be more involved w/the 8 mnth old. or let her help you w/things. She might also feel left out because of the baby. Instead of daycare for a day, drop-off the baby and make it a day just for the 2 or 3 of you.

Answer 8

From my experience, yes it is unreasonable to expect an active two-year-old to sit down and watch tv. That is how busy bright children are and from my experience with my son, yes it's normal. Putting her in her room: Make sure your house has three simple rules that she understands. There's no point putting her in her room if she's not sure why she's there. Write three house rules and stick them on the fridge. More than three and she'll just get frustrated. Only put her in her room if she breaks one of these three rules. They could be: No hitting or kicking; No throwing things; Listen to mommy and I will listen to you.
If she breaks one of these rules, explain it to her, put her in her room for TWO minutes, and then she can come out if she is ready to apologise and have a hug.
Perhaps you are asking too much for a small child. Try to keep her busy 'helping' you with things in the house - give her a spray bottle of water and a cloth when you are cleaning. Kids who are actively involved in 'helping' are happy kids. Stop trying to get her to watch tv, she is too busy for that, like my son was. You have a busy kid who wants to be involved in everything you do; you just have to accept that and offer her more in any way you can.
Good luck!

Answer 9

try when ur 8 month old is taking a nap have a little alone time with her and include her in anything u can with the new one like let her through away dipers for u or ask her to hand u a diper just anything that u can tell her she is mommys little helper after all she has to transition from being the baby to being the big sister and its really just kinda part of being 2yrs old and dont mean to scare u but just wait till she turn 3 my daughter is 5 and my son is 5 months i know where ur coming from

Answer 10

Maybe she doesn't like to watch tv. Get her to play with toys, read a book, or go outside to play with her. Maybe she wants you and your hubby's attention instead of sitting in front of the tv or getting pushed into her room. If bossiness is also the factor you need to talk to her and tell her that she is not the boss adults are such as mommy, daddy, and the babysitter.

Answer 11

welcome to the terrible twos, horrible threes. you need to set down some ground rules for her and yourself and stick with them. 2-3 year old children are very busy discovering the world and it sounds like she is just to active to sit still and watch TV. So, give her some books to look at or activity time, something to keep her busy and let her create something at the same time. My son is going to be two and I had to set somewhat of a schedule for him. supper, brush teeth, get pjs on, play for a little while, cuddle time with a story and our bedtime saying and then to bed. He has busy time and then has adjusted to after supper is time to calm down. once the schedule was set things have been much better. Best of luck. Believe me you will live through this, and the next thing you know she will be asking for the keys for the car.