I'm leaving for the army in 2 months, and I'm wondering about what to do with my girlfriend. Shes been really upset because of me leaving, and we've been fighting a lot. Recently, I asked for time away, and we haven't seen each other for about a month, but we've stayed in touch. More and more I find myself putting up walls, and becoming less connected with her. Also, now that I'm basically single, I've been getting a lot more attention from other girls, and I must admit that I like it. I feel like dealing with all of our problems and things while I'm in the army is the last thing I need. Yet, she says she is willing to stay with me while I'm away, and that is something pretty special. So, on the other hand, I'm worried that I'll regret it. She wants me to come over this Friday, and just kind of have a good time. Yet, I don't really think she is that capable of that, and that I'm just going to upset her again. To be honest, a lot of me doesn't even really want to go.
2007-03-27 14:53:24 · 12 answers · asked by nowayman72 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think a lot of me reasoning for trying to continue things, is just fear that later on I'll find I lost something special, and have all these regrets. Yet, is that really a good reason? I guess I'm just looking for some personal experiences of others (although every situation is different), and just some wisdom. I appreciate your help. Thank you.
2007-03-27 14:54:29 · update #1
going in to the military can be a very difficult thing, it is very stressful on everyone involved. there are numerous examples of relationships that don't last and i'm sure you will hear plenty of examples. and then there are those that do last and turn out great. you have to ask yourself, if you want to take the time apart or not. people do break up only to realize that all they relly wanted was each other to begin with, however, you want to be sure that is what you both want because you don't want to leave only for one of you to wind up cheating. maybe if you are liking the attention from other girls but worry about regret- you should request to break things off but remain friends and keep in contact. then the two of you can date whoever you want and still remain friends with each other. it can't hurt to remain friend and then neither one of you runs the risk of hurting each other if you continue to have doubts.
2007-03-27 15:03:26 · answer #1 · answered by softballgrl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask yourself if youre being selfish about this. youre putting up walls to shield yourself from hurtin more. but youre breakin your girls heart in the process. and these other girls, why would you get involved with them when youre leaving in 2 months, whereas your gf has been with you for much longer, knowin that youll be leaving? if what you had with her is less important that the way the attention from these new girls to you, then my friend you don't deserve her love. and as a soldier, i can tell you that when youre single the training and your work is so much ****** harder. the guys in the army who're the happiest are the ones with balance in their lives, not the jackasses who pretend theyre satisfied on their own. it seems to me youre just scared that shell move on and youll be stuck alone and empty-- and you should be scared. but unless youre willin to love her and let her love you, thats a risk you run. even through all the **** you two've been through she still wants to see you. if you cn be man enough to take a chance with her while youre in the army, then go to her on friday and make things right. youre not the only one in the relationship man. you say your reasoning for maybe continuing things is that you might have regrets later. if you even have that inkling now why would you give her up?
2007-03-27 17:04:06 · answer #2 · answered by jjgrnlantern 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you need to ask yourself if your relationship meant so little to you that youre willing to end it for a little superficial attention from other girls, and if your girlfriend is faithful enough and loves you enough to stand by you while youre gone. youre putting up walls because youre leaving and you don't know whats going to happen; but if you let it get in the way of something potentially great like your relationship could be, then youll regret it forever. she stuck by you even though she knew you were going to leave and that knowledge probably caused a lot of stress on the both of you, but really, do you blame her for freaking out? shes trying to come to terms with the fact that the man she loves is putting his own life in danger for the next 4 years or so. and the fact that youre asking for advice means that somewhere inside of you there is something thats preventing you from ending it altogether-- whatever that feeling is, its special. if you cared less about her you wouldn't hesitate to end it. try to understand that. and ask yourself why you don't want to go--- because youre tired of all the fighting? well, working through it can be the most rewarding decision of your life. you have a girl you love, who loves you, when other guys in your company have to settle for a one-night stand. a relationship only puts stress on a soldier when there is no love, and a lot of cheating. if you really care about her, then let her know that you need to ease back into the relationship, but that you do want it. because in the end, sacrificing a great love just because of problems isn't worth it.
2007-03-27 16:48:53 · answer #3 · answered by PBJgeorge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now thats a tough situation.
Well, I would go friday...see what its like and see if you still have feelings for her. If you don't feel like you can be in a relationship with her and that it won't work out then you should tell her.
Do what will make you happy or what you think will make her happy(having a guy in the army can be worrying)
2007-03-27 14:59:14 · answer #4 · answered by YoshiGal 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It definitely sounds to me like you should consider breaking the relationship off. Or, if you decide you feel strongly enough about her, which it doesn't seem you feel at the moment, maybe you should consider how strongly you feel and then what level of commitment you are willing (and able) to take seeing as how you will be leaving for the army.
2007-03-27 14:57:38 · answer #5 · answered by jonathan beechwood 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHA a lot of army girlfriends wait for there man but cheat most of them cheat dude. Your young have fun and enjoy the chicks you can pull while in the army. Tell her that while your in the army its best for you to not be in a reltionship
2007-03-27 14:58:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
really the only reason you keep a relationship going while in any service is to keep the lonlies away and for the warm fuzzies of the thought someone is thinking of you. if you don't really want a relationship with her then i'd just end it. it's not fare to her.
2007-03-27 14:58:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should go, and remind her and yourself that you won't see her for a while, so you should make the best out of it. you can keep writing to her. letters can make you vry content about a relationship
2007-03-27 14:58:56 · answer #8 · answered by omygosh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Break up with her. its is the best thing you can do for both you and your girl friend.
2007-03-27 14:57:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just be apart when you come back hopefully alive you can get back together.
2007-03-27 14:56:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋