yesterday my 10 year old hit our neighbor and gave her a huge bruise and my neighbor keeps telling me to spank her. I need advice would you spank or would you do somthing else.
2007-03-27 14:05:15 · 21 answers · asked by bassistmania224 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes,There is nothing wrong with smacking a child as long as that is all she gets,dont forget she is only a child . Liz.
2007-03-27 14:21:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
First, I would not let a neighbor tell me how to raise my children. I have never understood spanking a child as punishment to teach them not to hit...that really sends a mixed up message. I am not opposed to spanking as a last resort in many situations, but this is an exception. When I was spanked for hitting when I was younger (along with the "we don't hit people" speech) it only taught me that people who don't hit people didn't seem to have a problem with it if the person was smaller and made them mad. The time I pointed out this contradiction to my mom I got a much worse spanking for being mouthy.
2007-03-27 23:29:00 · answer #2 · answered by Starshine 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Spanking in this situation would have the 10 year old question the true meaning in the situation.
If my mom gets to place her hand on me, why can't I, in the same emotion meaning, do the same to someone else?
Children do not understand adult thinking nor adult understand the conflict of punnishment this is.
I would ask her why she hit the girl, what ways she could of solved it better and what to do next time.
Maybe this neighbor is a bully. Maybe this neighbor hit her first or has done something to have your daughter become angry enough. I don't think 1 side is innocent and the other side is the not innocent. Both played a part in it and punnishing her with out proper knowledge (unless you know and wasn't specific) just because neighbor thinks she deserves a punnishment that might not warrnet that severness.
Children will hit eachother as that is what they see in society.
You just need to inflict that hitting is not permitted under your roof and that their is proper ways of solving an issue than hitting *unless in danger*.
I would take privilages away and I would closely monitor, if allow, her to be around the neighbor.
I had a neighbor once say that I was stealing candy out of their jar and I wasn't even present that day at my own home (at grandma's for visit) when they confronted my mom. So, make sure the story matches and is true as well.
2007-03-27 23:06:52 · answer #3 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
In my opinion, no. First of all, you are obviously questioning it yourself so you don't feel comfortable. You should never do anything that makes you uncomfortable as a parent. Secondly, you will be teaching that in some instances, it is ok to hit. I think that if a child is raised in a home where no one ever hits/spanks, then they learn that there is no situation in which they should use physical violence against another person.
It sounds like you should figure out where your child learn to hit someone, and why he/she did it. Have a serious talk about physical violence and the terrible things that can come from it. If he/she does not seem responsive, you might want to try counseling just to be sure this does not happen again and he/she has an acceptable outlet for his/her feelings.
As for your neighbor, all he/she needs to know is that you are taking care of the situation. He/she does not need to know what punishment you are giving, nor does he/she have any say in what that punishment should be!
2007-03-27 21:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by Kellie R 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Oh yes, as you're spanking your child, repeat,"hitting people is bad, we do not hit other people!"
Something is missing in this story. How old is the neighbor? Why did your 10 year old hit her? Something is not right with this picture.
2007-03-31 00:40:28 · answer #5 · answered by lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the child. My son does not even respond to spankings. He is seven. My best friend does not spank her children they are ten and eleven. If you do not believe in spanking then don't do it. It is up to you as to how you discipline your child not your neighbor. I agree that your child should receive correction, but as to what the correction is that is up to you.
I personally would make him apologize to both the parent and the child. Then take away priviledges. Also talk to him about the importance of respecting other peopl and not harming them.
Also never punish your child in front of the people who tell you how you need to discipline them. This is not fair to your child. You should take it in privacy. You do not owe any explanation as to what you did to take care of the problem. I am sure your neighbors child is no little Angel, and you may even be able to find out if that child did something first. Is he the only one harming someone, or is he being provoked?
These are just things to think about. Sometimes when we are close friends with someone, we do not want to hurt their feelings by questioning something that happened, but I would make sure your child is not being provoked because two children instead of one may need correction.
2007-03-27 23:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by trhwsh 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think 10 is to old for spanking and this situation doesn't seem right. If she is basically a good kid and you know why she did it then deal with it in a different manner. Take time away from TV or video games or playtime at a friends house. Tell your neighbor that you have appropriately dealt with the situation and it should not happen again.
2007-03-27 21:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by Tetsi 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i would have found out the circumstances of why he hit her. i believe there is nothing wrong with a firm spanking, but know your limits. if i was going to spank him it would have been the day of the incident- not a day after. 10 ys old is old enough that he should understand the seriousness of hitting someone intentionally to cause harm. explain that this is not acceptable and also ground him or take away one of his pleasures...good luck....
2007-03-31 17:26:45 · answer #8 · answered by lumpkinstonya 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your child not your neighbors. It is your place to discplin them. If you feel that a spanking will do then do it. If no other punishments are at your disposal.
But you know what will work with your child not your neighbor or the people on here.
2007-03-27 22:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by sassylyn 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you shouldn't spank your child just because you where told to have you punished her in another way ?
what punishment do you feel fits the crime of hitting someone?
now weather or not i would spank my child for this depends on a few things did the other child do something to get hit?
is this an ongoing problem ?
2007-03-27 21:17:32 · answer #10 · answered by debrasearch 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
NEVER let your neighbor tell you how to discipline your child. If you think your child needs a spanking, then spank him, if you think that another form of discipline will work then use that.
YOU decide, it is your child, not your neighbors
2007-03-28 00:20:00 · answer #11 · answered by Rosie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋