How do you get children to appreciate what they have?

Question

My son wants an Ipod, Jordan sneakers, Healy's, Guitar lessons, Xbox 360 ect. I try to do that I can but he just wants more more more and does not appreciate what he does have nor does he seem to care that money only goes so far and he has siblings that want and need too. He is 10. I have explained the concept of bills and paychecks and all. I also have tried to explain how we need to save for something not have instant gradification but he wants it all and now!! Shouldn't he somewhat understand at his age? Also, if I say no then he will go to his dads for the weekend and ask there and get it!! That drives me crazy because I am trying to teach him a lesson but his dad thinks it is ok. HELP

Answer 1

all kids do this today
I think that we see how smart our kids are, and just naturally think that they understand what we say
at age 10 he probably has some concept of money but not as much or in a the way that we think he does

my daughter started "the jar method"
this is where every child gets some $ for an allowance....
it can be a set ammount or you can have a chore/good behavior/good school work type chart.....
age appropiate for each child
at the end of the week ,everyone sits at the table and is rewarded in" change form' of money
this lets them get the idea of cash value,
it teaches them that different jobs/attitudes/habits all have different prices and the better you do the job the more it's worth,
now the jars come into play
each child has his own jar(put names on them)
they have to put at least 1/2 their coins into the jar
this jar is to save for big/expensive stuff they want that is just for them

there is a family jar... each child has to contribute at least 1 coin to this jar every week
this jar is for family stuff like going to get ice cream/movie night etc. anything that is done as a family
also you have to take out a little each month to give to a charity or go to a place and let the kids go to see less fortunate and help them

mom and dad have to contribute part of their pay into the family jar too!!

the rest of their money is to be used and kept in their own spot and they have to be responsible for it
it should and has to ,last the week
if they run out they cannot get any money from anyone else in the family
they spend this on their everyday wants and needs like: ice cream, candy, small toys, magizines or you know how they always seem to HAVE TO get apiece of gum or something evertime you take them into a store

you will keep care of all the jars
you will help them decide what it is they spend their individual
jar money on..........but you just guide them as to the best deal for their money

one wekend day a month you will all sit down and decide or vote on what it is you will do as a family with the family jar money

i think this way gives them pocket money,self respect,family values and most important YOU are helping/teaching them about finances,savings,the importance of family and the knowledge that there is the less fortunate

You need to explain that this is how you do it here, in your house
it might be different at dads or the neighbors

that it is ..ok ,if dad does it (gets him stuff)but in your house everyone has a job to do and everything must be earned
lots of luck




hope this is an idea that works for you as well as it seems to

Answer 2

in our society it is hard to explain why we see everyone with everything on TV but we can't have it all. Our children are bombarded with consumerism from beforethey can even talk, no wonder they want it all!

Right now is a great teaching moment for you that can serve your son well for the rest of his life! Why not give him some chores and an allowance he can earn by doing these chores and let him save to buy the items he wants? You will not only teach him about not getting everything right away, you will teach him about manging money, and about how to be responsible. A good allowance suggestion is $.50 per year of his age per week. So $5 for a ten year old. he could probably handle 2 to three chores a week, maybe one thing daily (like setting the table, or clearing dishes, and two things weekly, like emptying his garbage and putting away his laundry.

Answer 3

TO leroux3s: NO, all kids DON'T.

I understand your frustration, because I see it with many kids in the family. I think what's making it so hard for you is your ex counteracting your efforts in this.

This is one of those times where being a single parent is a PLUS - no one to argue with. My 7 year old knows we only have what we have. She understands that my job gives me a certain amount of money, and I have to pay for the house, groceries, ju-jitsu lessons, clothes, gas, etc with it. If there's money left over, great. If not, oh well. I generally don't buy her any expensive items except on birthdays/christmas, and she understands why.

If she wants something really bad, she'll ask me to earn money. Or I'll tell her to put it on her "wish list", which is just a mental list she keeps of things she wishes she could have. Then, if she remembers it come the holidays, then I know she really wanted it.

Your son is bright, I'm sure. He's figured out that if you don't cave, Dad will. That is going to make your job harder until Dad gets on board with you and you work as a team. I hope he comes around. Best of luck to you!

Answer 4

First, sit dad down and explain to him and get him to compromise. That will have to be the first step. Also, let Jr. know that if you say no and dad gets it, it stays at dad's. Now, as far as getting him to understand the concept of money.... have him do chores and set an amount you will pay him each week if the chores are done. Put that amount on a chart with the $ amount of the item he wants so he can count how long it will take him to earn the money to get it. Stick to it and ask dad to do the same at his house. Also, if you currently buy him $30 shoes and he wants $60 shoes, tell him he has to earn the extra $30 to get the shoes he wants. Again, make the chart so he knows the meaning of what you are saying. Good luck!

Answer 5

Talk to your ex so he is on the same page as far as not spoiling him. Also, start giving him an allowance, and next time he asks for something, make him pay with his money. If you give him $5 or $10 a week, he will realize how long it takes to pay for these items.

Also, I did a major clean out of my kids' rooms. They had so much stuff, they were overwhelmed and never really used most of it. Now they have a smaller number of toys and games that they really like and they seem to occupy themselves better.

Answer 6

By taking it away from them. Remember absence makes the heart grow fonder and this applies to every situation. It isn't always best to have any and everything you want and anything not earned doesn't have the same value as something just given. Reward responsibility and teach how much is gained from achieving and how nothing is gained by waiting for it to fall in your lap.

Answer 7

I think you should employ the truth that he should work to get the things he wants. Good things don't always come for free. Your son needs to know that everything can't come on a silver platter. You might also want to relay this information to your ex. These are really important things to know about life.

Answer 8

You need to talk to his father, firmly, and tell him you are trying to teach your son some responsibility with money. 10 is not too young to learn. Have him get a paper route, or mow the neighbors yards for money, and tell him if he wants all that stuff, he has to save up and buy it himself. Otherwise if Mom keeps buying it for him, he's going to think that's okay, and she always will. Teach him you won't. That's how my step-brother is. He wants his dad to buy all this stuff for him, and my dad has told him no repeatedly, so he goes and asks his mother, and his mother buys it for him, so he thinks Dad will too.

Answer 9

take away everything he has and make him earn it all back talk to dad let him know what is going on and what he is doing to his son

yes at 10 he should fully understand the concept of money and earning it

Answer 10

you tell him NO. don't give into his demands. if he does chores, then he can earn small things. 10 year olds don't need all that crap. you need to sit down as parents and AGREE on gifts, etc.