2007-03-27 13:59:15 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Your mom. Sorry I can't help it.
2007-03-27 14:04:32 · answer #1 · answered by pathc22 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Jim Hensen called to talk to Miss Piggy, Kermit answered the phone and said "sorry she can't come to the phone now she has a frog in her throat"
2007-03-27 21:47:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
there are 3 guys and a magical cliff. The first guy says that he wants to be president of the country, so he jumps off the cliff and becomes president. The second guy says that he wants to be king of the world. He jumps off the cliff and becomes king. The thrid guy was going to say his wish when he was going to run then jump off. When he was running he hit a rock and yelled "Oh Crap!!!!". So he fell down the cliff and he became a pile of crap. lol
2007-03-27 22:02:59 · answer #3 · answered by Jeremy B 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
a man is taking care of his mother in law and one day he comes home and she is lying on the ground. he takes her to the hospital and after a few hours the doctor comes out. "i have good news and bad news" says the doc. "give me the bad first" said the man. "your mother in law is going to live but she has lost the use of her arms so you will have to feed her baby food with a spoon three times a day, she can't see so your gonna have to drive her places and guide her everywhere, and she can not conrol her bowel movements so you must change her diaper every hour."
"oh man" says the man. "what's the good news?"
"oh im just kidding she died!"said the doctor
2007-03-27 21:11:18 · answer #4 · answered by BROOKEEEE 3 · 3⤊ 2⤋
A man goes to the doctor and says: " I have a problem: every time I eat pizza i poop pizza, every time i eat oranges i poop oranges, it's the same with every food. What should i do?"
THe doctor replied: " Eat crap and you'll poop crap."
2007-03-30 19:39:33 · answer #5 · answered by the world has its shine ♥ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok.... this is 4 all u perverts out there!!!!! lol and if u dont know wat pervert even means...... ur dumb..... go play in traffic !!!
one day a man walked into his office with his fly open (not realizing it). his secretary said "your barn door is open". not realizing what she meant, he left the office. a few minutes later the man realized his fly was open. he walked back into the office and said to his secretary "when you noticed my barn door open earlier, did you see a soldier standing at attention?" the secretary replied "no, i just saw a wounded veteran sitting on two duffel bags."
2007-03-27 22:24:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cheerup782 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A priest goes fishing with his buddy and catches a big fish. his buddy says "look at that sonofabitch!" The priest gives him a nasty look but his buddy says " no,that's what the fish is called, a sonofabitch!" So the priest says "ok, I'm going to take the fish back to the nun in the church kitchen and have her cook it up" So he takes it to the nun and says "look at the sonofabitch that I caught!" She gives him a stern look and he says "no, that's what the fish is called, a sonofabitch! " she says" ok then, the pope is coming over tonight for dinner, I'll cook it up for him. So the nun cooks it up and they bring it out to the pope. The nun says " look at the sonofabitch that the priest caught and I cooked for you!" The pope says " Hey, you fuuckers are alright!"
2007-03-27 21:09:32 · answer #7 · answered by charlie_the_carpenter 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
a guy walks into a bar, sits down and tells bartender"give me 12 shots of your best whiskey, i'm celebrating my first bl@*job,"
The bartender says to the guy, "Well congratulations, the 13th shot is on the house"
The guy says "no thanks, if 12 can't kill the taste, nothing will."
2007-03-27 22:03:03 · answer #8 · answered by Arraya 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have 2!!
There's this guy, he has three kids one of kids comes up to him and asks "daddy, why'd you name me Rose?" and the dad replies "because when you were born, a rose fell on your head" another one of his kids comes up and ask him " daddy why'd you name me Daisy?" he replies "because when you were born a daisy fell on your head" then his final kid comes up to him and asks "NUH NYUH NYUH NYUH?" and father yells " Shut up Brick!"
there are three guys building a wall and they see a man sitting not too far them and one of the workers says "why isn't he working?" so another worker says " i dunno i'll go ask him". so he goes over and asks the man why he's not working and the man says "because, i have intelligence"
"well what's that" says the worker
the man puts his hand in front of the wall
"hit my hand as hard as you can"
"okaay"
before the worker hits his hand, the man moves it away
"OOWWWW!! why'd ya do that?!?"
"because i have Intelligence"
the worker walks back to his friends and one of them says "so? why isn't he working?"
the worker that talked to the man holds his hand up to his own face and says "hit my hand as hard you can"
2007-03-27 21:22:17 · answer #9 · answered by T1G 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
nock nock
whos there?
Boo
Boo. Who?
dont cry its only a joke
2007-03-27 21:25:50 · answer #10 · answered by ChucK 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋