Are children really learning social skills in school?

Question

When ever I tell someone I homeschool my children I am told they are missing out on social skills. Then yesterday a study came out clearly showing that Childcare causes behavior probems. It is the first study that directly linked Behavior problems with child care. And made it clear that the quality of child care Did Not matter. Quality preschools also caused behavior problems.
http://www.nytimes.com/2007/03/26/us/26center.html?hp
Take a look at it. Ever since I pulled my children out of school there behavior has been so much better it is amazing. And my son who used to be shy around other children is now begining to act much more social with the kids in our home school group. I can't help but wonder if in time they will find that public school also has the same negative effect on behavior.
I am not knocking school I am just saying maybe that the social skills the children are learning are not really as good for them as the schools say they are.

I try my best not to be defensive but But can of Beans. Just thought you should know I am a credentialed teacher. My credential is in California. I have chosen not to seek a credential in Georgia since moving here. After teaching for 2 different school systems here, I realized why Georgia is near last in the nation in education. The pressure to have a sit down, shut up, and put up, negative classroom structure was so great. I choose not to work rather than to work in such an abusive environment.
Me and our homeschool group use state adopted text books, and we all take standardized testing(stanford 10) and our children scores are far and away above grade level.
You should know that Washington never opposed Taxes He opposed taxation without representation. He believed the American people had the right to say where the taxes would be spent. Please read the declaration of independance, I am sure you will learn some things the public school missed while teaching you to conform

Answer 1

First, let me address the common statement of "When homeschoolers return to a regular school they seem a bit akward and have a harder time making friends." This is a statment true of any kid going into a new school , where they don't know other kids but the other kids have been together since kindergarden. Any kid will be nervous going into a totally new enviroment and will need time to find thier way. Add in that often homeschoolers may be ahead scholastically and are coming from an enviroment where they were not expected to "follow the crowd" and were encouraged to be an individual and you can see why it may take them a bit of time to adjust.

Now for the generalization about homeschoolers not socializing as much as the peers who are in school all day. A classroom in modern America generally has very little time or room for kids to socialize. Days are filled with the increased work loads needed to prep kids for standardized testing. Recess in most cases has shrunk to next to nothing, so that opportunity is gone. Classes are so large that teachers must try to maintain levels of control that we did not have when we attended school, so even the occassional working as a group is vanishing from the lower grades. So most kids get the majority of thier socialization time on their way to or from school or in extracurriular activities. Homeschool kids, in reality, have far more opportunities to socialize as our schedules allow for more activities, field trips and fun than most kids in the public school. Why? Because once our kids finish thier work, it's done. No homework. So we can do lots of activities, have dinner with the family, and still meet our educational goals without 2-4 hours of homework a night. It makes a big difference!

Answer 2

The public school kids are socialized, just in a different way. Most homeschoolers believe this way is negative, like myself.
Homeschoolers have access to many races, ethnic groups, disables, religions, ages, ect. with which to learn from on a daily basis. There are no restraints other than what their parents would like to implement. Public schoolers are with the same age every day and the only adult interaction is with their teachers. Not only that, the disabled (mental and physical)are all shoved off into another classroom.

Answer 3

I really think it depends on the individual child. My son picked up some negative habits when he attended preschool. For example, when he attended his first preschool, and there were some violent children that were hitting, he started hitting other children on the weekends as well. I think many children would not have picked up that habit as quickly as my son did.

I think children tend to be born with their innate personalities. For example, my son attended preschool since age 3 (we pulled him out of that awful preschool I just described as soon as possible and put him in a better one!) and then he attended kindergarten and first grade. Even though he attended preschool and school for several years, his personality and social skills never substantially changed (except temporarily for the worse when he attended that one preschool which later closed when 2 of the workers were convicted of child abuse yuck!). He remains the same quiet, shy, introverted child he was when he was born.

My daughter has been homeschooled from birth and is extroverted, very talkative (almost always talking!, and has no shyness at all with great social skills. She seems to have been born with that personality though; I don't know that homeschooling is the reason for her outgoing personality and social skills.

Answer 4

In my opinion, I think children can get great benefits from home school and go farther due to being focused on their studies when it's time for that each day.
I personally don't think that school is for socializing. It is for learning core concepts and other things to help them do well in middle and high school.
I see how as one gets to high school it becomes more about socializing. Again, I think this is a side issue. Granted it is good to learn certain social skills and how to work through those various things but that I believe isn't something one looses when being home schooled.
I think that is the misnomer, that many assume they are missing out on but I think others should really check to see if it's actually so.
I had a friend that was home schooled and he didn't lack in any way and was a big social person. So I know personally that isn't true.

Answer 5

I wouldn't say that kids in school aren't learning social skills, but I think it's naive of people to think that EVERY child who goes to school is going to have superbly polished social skills. The kids at school with the best polished social skills are the ones whose PARENTS guide them consistently at home!! Ask just about any teacher. There are programs out there now for teachers to use to teach social skills to kids because they come to school lacking.

There is, however, the whole idea that these kids are lumped together with only one adult and are supposed to be learning good social skills from whom? The other kids? How's that? Social skills are learned, and if they are consistenly modelled by someone who's immature, then that is what will be learned. To a child's unconscious mind, the many acting one way around him outweighs the voice of the (hopefully) mature one. Kids are learning to function in society based on what's going on around them: if the other kids have bad attitudes/behaviours/language, much greater chance that Billy's going to adopt them. Actually, this goes for adults, too, so imagine how much more impressionable a developping child is!!

Answer 6

My kids go to public school, wish i could home school them. My answer is NO - i have seen such a decline in the way children act. At school they have the cliques, they feel like they need to follow the crowd, have the best clothes,they are disrespectful, etc. ( not all, but a large majority of them ) I do my best to teach them good values, to be polite, to be their own person and to never judge others. Again, wish i could home school mine - i have to work full time, so not sure how i would do this!

Answer 7

If think you are on to something. My aunt would say her kids are angels all summer long and then a month back in school and they are all attituded out.

f you think about it, there is no other place in the world like a school social environment. Corporate America comes closest to high school - in that you are with the same people day in and day out, must sit at a desk for long periods of time and must follow orders - but there is no room in corporate america for cliques, shunning those who are different or those who excel, and the folks who are running corporate america are those who have had unique schooling experiences.

Peace!

Answer 8

The only social skills kids learn in school is how to cope with people in their own peer group. They do not learn how to interact with people either older or younger than themselves on anything approaching an equal footing. Older people are always "superior" and younger ones "inferior".

They also learn how to bully or be bullied. How to play the "My shoes are cooler than your shoes" game. The popularity contests. The continual competitions about being better smarter more popular more cool more hip...

They learn those great social skills of how to smoke weed, snort meth, light a crack pipe, spread their legs and have babies at 14, get drunk, get into car wrecks.

Oh yeah, they learn GREAT social skills.

Answer 9

It truly depends on the child.. I homeschool and my childrens "social skills" vary by their personality...
Influencing factors are peers and role models... But I believe in the individual..
And if a parent(s) is relying on schools to teach their child "social skills" therein lies the problem....

Answer 10

OF COURSE they are learning social skills! They learn how to deal with grinding boredom, how to listen to cursing and other talk without finding it offensive, how to...oh, sorry, that's probably not what you meant....

I saw that study mentioned in our local paper and found it interesting. I've always hsed and have very social kids that are far able to deal with difficult situations than others their age that are in school. People act like if you hs that your kids are never exposed to meanness or unfairness. HA! Granted, it's not as bad as in ps, but there are plenty of instances.