My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months and he is looking to buy a house. I have a child from a previous relationship and have always rented. Recently, I moved back to my home town which is where he also lives and rented a townhouse. Ever since I moved 5 weeks ago he has spent every night. He always tells me he doesn't see the two of us breaking up and we have had the marriage discussion, but no official marraige proposal. He keeps asking me what I think about houses he is looking at and is close to offering one I hate. He is asking me and my child to move in with him when he buys the house, do I have say in the house he buys? What about if he buys something I hate and we get married...
2007-03-27 13:51:23 · 20 answers · asked by jen_joann 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You don't have much of a say inless you are going to get married. Offer your suggestions though. If he really cares about you, he'll take your suggestions to heart.
2007-03-27 13:55:54 · answer #1 · answered by Zoso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a child. That is your first concern. 8 months with your boyfriend is a very short time. You really don't want to get involved to quickly. If this man cares about you and your child, and wants you to move in, it seems he would want to get a place that you are both happy with. It's not a matter of "who has the say". It's a matter of two people working together. I think you should focus on raising your child in your home while you give your "relatonship" some time. You really don't want to put your child through another divorce. Tell him you don't like the house, but, even if you did like the house, you would still like to wait on moving in. Tell him it's nothing against him, you just want to give it some time. Tell him he can buy what he wants, but, if you decided (in a year or two or more) that you do want to move in, it would be nice if both of you liked the house. See where he takes that answer.
2007-03-27 21:24:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a question of whether or not you should say something, but rather, how you should say it. Make sure when you say something to him you say it in a way that is not going to offend his "manliness." Say something like, "it's okay, but don't you think we should look at something with a bigger yard (fill in whatever applies here). I mean, if we have children together, won't you want somewhere safe for them to play?"
Basically, if he's buying the house, you can't put your foot down and say that you absolutely don't want it, it's not your choice. Think about it. If it's something cosmetic that you don't like, you can always change it down the road. If it's the layout you don't like, think about a way to tell him that the layout isn't the best for a family.
Good luck.
2007-03-27 20:58:54 · answer #3 · answered by kbib12 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You def. have a say in the house. Yes, he might be buying it. But if you get married you are going to want a house that you three enjoy. I hope he doesnt pick a shack for you and your child, I hope he picks a wonderful home for you! Good Luck
2007-03-27 20:56:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you two are planning on marrying, you should ABSOLUTELY have a BIG say in where you live. If he does not value your input in this very big decision, i am afraid that might be reflected in the way he views your opinion in other large...and small decisions. Stick to your guns on this one. i was at one time in a similar situation. My intended moved to an absolutely horrid neighborhood (because the house was cheap). We ended up breaking up. Again, if you are planning on living with him, you should have a say in where. Best wishes!
2007-03-27 20:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by fair blue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats why you get married and buy the house next. And also, is he totally paying for the house, or is it like a 50/50 thing. If it's a 50/50 thing then yes you do but if it's 100% him then no.
2007-03-27 20:56:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You will need to make a conscious decision if that is what you want, moving-in with him without marriage. This can be tough when the going gets though. I suggest, unless you both are married and is committed to each other, stay where you are and have your 'freedom'.
2007-03-27 20:59:04 · answer #7 · answered by SGElite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest, say you don't like the house and give him reason on why you don't like it. I'm sure he'd like to hear your opinion on the matter epically if he's considering moving your and your child into it with him.
2007-03-27 20:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by Lys 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are gonna get married and are gonna move in, then hell yes, girl! I mean, he should ask for your opinion. Maybe you can try commenting about the houses he sees; ask him to take you to see them.
2007-03-27 20:57:24 · answer #9 · answered by KillingLight 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah you should say somthing be liek i really like u too and appcreiate the offer to move in with you but to be honest with the choice ur choosing of a houes i dont know it if its a place i wanna live, evne though i love u.
2007-03-27 20:57:24 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋