Tell me a joke?

Question

Any joke. Make me laugh!

Answer 1

I know this is long but it is funny!

A king sends a message to every man in the land. He says "the first man in all the land to complete my challenge will receive my car, my money, and my daughter". "The challenge is - jump off this cliff and then swim through the shark infested waters until you reach the island. Run around the island dodging the vicious man eating tigers then climb back up the cliff". The first day there are no takers. The second day there are no takers. The third day a brave man jumps off the cliff, swims past the sharks, runs by the tigers, and climbs back up the cliff. The king says "Congratulations, you win my car, my money, and my daughter". The man says "keep your car, your money and your daughter, just find me the moron who pushed me off that cliff ".

Hope you laughed!!!

Answer 2

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke. After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started one. The professor got wind of this plot. So the next morning he walked in and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” cried the professor. “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”

Answer 3

These 3 guys are walking through the jungle. A soldier, a japanese guy and a waiter from NYC. Of course they run into a bunch of cannibals. The chief cannibal says " ok listen up ,we are going to cook your dead bodies up in a big vat and use your skins to make our canoes. We can either kill you ourselves or you can die with honor using the weapon of your choice. So the soldier says"ok give me a pistol" He sings his military fight song and shoots himself in the head. The japanese guy says "ok,give me a sword" He says his families ancient samerai oath and chops his own head off. The waiter says "ok,give me a fork." The chief asks " A fork?" Waiter says " Yeah a fork" so the waiter takes the fork and stabs himself repeatedly in the chest yelling " I hope your fuuckin boat sinks! "

Answer 4

How did Osama's Bin Ladens dad know he had reached puberty?

When he took the diaper off his aas and put it on his head!

Answer 5

A 75-year-old man went to the doctor's office to get a sperm count.
The Doctor gave the man a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow."

The next day, the 75-year-old man reappears at the doctor's office and gives him the jar, which is as clean and empty as the previous day.

The doctor asks what happened, and the man explains, "Well, Doc, it's like this. First I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, but nothing. Then with her left, but nothing. She even tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with he teeth out, and still nothing. Hell, we even called up the lady next door, and she tried with both hands and her mouth too, but nothing."

The doctor was shocked. "You asked your neighbor?"

The old man replied, "Yep, but no matter what we tried, we couldn't get that damn jar opened!"

Its kinda gross but I thought it was funny!!!

Answer 6

Why did the mouse cross the road?

Because it was stapled to the chicken!!

I love absurdity.

Answer 7

"what did the 7 dwarves say to brittany spears?"

"hi ho!"

now, i've got a question 4 u -
waz it funny or just ignorant?

Answer 8

when someone asks you, cindy, whats in a name do you say "sin die"? lol


i say boo to you OnTheProwl007 for not giving us a laugh. boo to you

Answer 9

yo mama
yo daddy
yo bald headed granny jumping off a cliff going aye, aye, aye, aye

Answer 10

One day, a boy decided to give up procrastination and told his parents about it.
"Oh really, how?" they asked.
"I'll tell you later." he replied.