Has anyone been through a divorce? I love my husband and and he loves me so much, but in our circumstances, we cannot be married anymore. I cannot think to marry anyone else, and he is my soulmate and I am hurt so bad. How can I get through this? His other wife gave him a choice between the 2 of us, and if he picks me, she will take his kids away. She knows he loves me more than he loves her, thats why she is jealous, and she holds his kids like a pawn to get her way. We do not have children together, we have been trying since we married over a year ago without success. He never chose to marry her, but was pressured by his family. We met and loved eachother at first sight. I love him so much and he does love me too, how can we fix this? Atleast, how can I get through this without dying from a broken heart. I never wish for him to lose his kids, but I never wish to lose him either.
2007-03-27 13:28:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
This is not a novel ,this is my life.
2007-03-27 13:34:05 · update #1
He didn't ask for her premission.
2007-03-27 14:13:10 · update #2
I have had 3 miscarriages, If you read my previous questions you would have known that.
2007-03-27 14:13:59 · update #3
well, his other wife has no authority to make him select 1 out of two!
and in islam, both wifes have to be treated equally in everything.
and under what rule does it say that if he picks you he will lose his children??
try going to an Islamic court (depending on the country ur in).
2007-03-27 15:47:06 · answer #1 · answered by Servant 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow...this is a true dilemma. i know its a great sacrifice if you let him go just because you dont want him to lose his kids. what about your children (if you have any). if he doesnt want to divorce you, then you should not ask him to. i supposed you have tried to talk to his other wife?
get divorce is not the answer. you both are still in love. if you're divorced, and found yourselves in each other's arms again, it wont be a good thing. about his kids, try to negotiate with the other wife, see if you can share custody.
divorce in islam is allowed under circumstances. and Allah hates divorce the most. i pray for you welfare and for your family
2007-03-27 20:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by farina m 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Allah is also watching over you and as long as you remenber Him He will always remember u.for th fact that the children belong to both ur husband and the women will keep the kid together with u.even though she takes them away, the will grow up and as long as there is the bond between you two and the kids, they themselves will come looking for their father.
and the matter of bearing children is in the Hands of Allah. you should see a doctor and keep on praying, especially recitation of the Quran with the intention of having kids if it is better for you.tell your husband to do istikhara, and InshaAllah what ever he decides will turn out to be a blessing. and dont forget that as long as you loveeach other for the sake of Allah, he will keep you together even in the hereafter.and you know that is for eternity inshaAllah.
Always look on the bright side, and never regret, instead be thankful for whatever situation you find yourself in and put your trust in Allah and in Him alone.
2007-03-27 20:42:40 · answer #3 · answered by bing bang 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You seem very confused. I have read some of your previous questions and you keep contradicting yourself. You say you are pregnant in one and then weeks later say your trying ovulation tests to get pregnant. Then you ask about the morning after pill if it is abortion and your partner agrees. But now he is your husband? Hhmmm I would love to take you seriously and give you a proper answer but somehow if it looks like a duck and walks like a duck, its usually a duck.
I am a Muslim and you are the first one i have ever heard of who is a second wife. Why would his first wife be jealous when she would have to have given her permission for him to marry you? If she did not want him to marry you he could not have without the consent of his first wife. Sorry but I'm just not buying the story honey way to many holes in it for my liking.
Sorry honey in Islam you need your wifes permission to take a second one.
Question-
"will we ever be parents" My husband has 2 children from a previous marraige. His "EX WIFE" (you call her in the following sentense. So is she ex wife or first?)
You say you have had 3 miscarraiges. Well let me see if i have this straight acording to your "previous questions"
Question-
"will we ever be parents"
I have problems concieving and the ONE time i did i miscarried. (this question was posted 4 weeks ago)
Question-
"my husband left me"
I'm pregnant. (that was 3 weeks ago and you dont mention that you have had a miscarraige since then not in one question since posting this do you say you miscarried)
Question-
"Any step parents out there"
I had 2 miscarraiges 7 months ago. ( so 4 weeks ago you had only ever had one miscarraige but 7 months ago you had, had 2? How is that possible?)
Question-
"to all step paretns out there"
You say your excited to meet his "first wife" that you have never met her. ( so is she and EX wife like you claimed before? Or a wife that he has not laid eyes on in 6 years?)
Question-
"morning after pill"
My husband and i decided to make a child. Then you say he walked out and is it ok to take the moringing after pill. (but just 3 weeks ago you stated you where pregnant, so which is it?)
Question-
"healing a broken heart"
Kids are 7 and 9 and he has not seen them in 6 years. ( but you claim his wife will take his kids away if he does not choose between you and her? Well if he has not seen them since they where 1 and 3 there is not much in her threat is there?)
Question-
"adults only"
we both work 12 hours a day and have 2 kids. ( so the kids he has not seen in six years live with you now? They are to blame for your bed room problems? them and working 12 hour days? How much trouble can they be for you living in another country?)
Question-
"treating mood swings"
I'm 21. (that was 7 months ago and now you are 20 how did you manage that one?)
Question-
"Food Addiction"
I ate 2 McChicken sandwiches. (last time i checked McChicken sandwiches are not Halal)
So lets see if i have this right. 21 hours ago you where trying for a baby and asked about the morning after pill, 3 weeks ago you where pregnant, 4 weeks ago you claim to have been pregnant "one time" which resulted in a miscarraige, 7 months ago you claim to have 2 miscarraiges and now you are stating you have had 3? Confused? I know i am. You say your a second wife but he never asked her permission, then they have not seen each other in 6 years, then you say she is his "EX wife". You say he has not seen his kids in 6 years but then claim you work 12 hour shifts and have 2 kids. You say you are visiting his family in Palestine and you will get on OK as you speak arabic and where a hijab, then you ask people constantly to translate things in arabic for you and say your arabic is very poor. Then your 21 then 20. Then you claim you and your husband are so in love "soulmates" then say he is a bad husband on the internet chatting to women all the time.
You know i have no doubt some of your facts are true and some well i feel that your very confused and i wish Insha Allah he guides you. Because you seem very confused and need his help. If your husband is a muslim and is chatting to women online and in phone calls that is not the Islamic way.
2007-03-27 20:53:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
dear sister don't mind other ppl's silly answers.my heart is with you and the only way is for your husband to pray to ALLAH and supplicate him for the best(estekhara).i will mention you in my prayers
2007-03-27 20:42:01 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This is a pickle. Hope things work out for you. I think you should pray and ask God what you should do.
2007-03-27 20:36:33 · answer #6 · answered by great gig in the sky 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Nice novel, you should publish it
2007-03-27 20:32:05 · answer #7 · answered by Kayley M 2 · 2⤊ 5⤋
are u asking your muslim brothers to stone her to death when she proved to be wrong.
Because your islamic laws do the same in afghanistan.
No offence but, when you asked your muslims brothers, i can only think of it.
2007-03-27 20:37:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 8⤋