My boyfriend tells me how he is so tired of his kids coming home and leaving big messes and he says they are like the trash....the longer they stay the more they start to stink.
He says they move home and act like they are 12 yrs old again and trash everything and expect him to take care of them. He gets really on edge when they are there. He actually locked us into the house for about 3 hours for some privacy together. His son is 29 and just had a new baby and his daughter is 26 and is married. They just live beyond their means and rely on him to bail them out of financial trouble and they move home and mooch basically. They bring their girlfriends, husband and kids and move on in. His daughter told him she wanted to stay for 3 months and ended up 1 yr. How can I help?
2007-03-27 12:38:57 · 19 answers · asked by happydawg 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's his own fault, he let's it happen. I don't think you can do anything, he needs to get to the point in his own mind that he won't let that happen. He needs to be very direct, and tell them all that they can visit, but they leave, they don't spend the night at all. And as long as he bails them out financially, they will continue to be irresponsible with money. He needs to let them suffer the consequences of their choices so they learn the same thing responsible people know.
2007-03-27 12:59:41 · answer #1 · answered by The Scorpion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a hard one. Because we all love our kids. I would say not to make it too comfortable or convenient for them to be there. Make sure they have just enough room for a bed and clothes. Cut off the cable, phone and internet. And only buy food that has to be cooked. I don't think they will stay too long. And tell them lights out at 8pm. That is the real clincher!
2007-03-27 12:43:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice would be to sit them down and explain to them that they need to start standing on their own 2 feet and that your not going to bail them out anymore. They are either going to sink or swim.
If they don't change put their stuff outside and change the locks and refuse to let them in or give them any money.
Also, if it does get to the point with his son that his grandchild would have to do without, I wouldn't give them money but I would buy the baby whatever it needed.
2007-03-27 12:47:00 · answer #3 · answered by Charles X 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it is time to sell the house and move to another state! without them. Change the locks on the doors don't give them a key. Take their beds down and store them in the basement or garage tell them that they have to pay rent or leave.
2007-03-27 12:46:09 · answer #4 · answered by Alone again 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend needs a backbone. He needs to tell his kids the party is over and that they are no longer welcome to live in his home. He could consider paying for them to see a financial advisor. This would be much less expensive in the long run than him continually bailing them out and it might actually save his relationship with you.
2007-03-27 12:44:54 · answer #5 · answered by Rickster 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With them being their ages, I think it`s time your boyfriend stands up for his privacy and yours. It is your home now and they need to know that. He should tell his kids that he loves them dearly but it is time for them to grow-up and take the responsible for their own life. Also he needs to let them know that there will be no more money, they have to learn to live within there means. LOCK THE DOORS MORE YOU NEED YOUR TIME TOGETHER
2007-03-27 12:48:20 · answer #6 · answered by mammafran77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it particularly is emotional abuse. the suitable way is to be supportive and help him get a job then provide him six months to maintain and bit and help them (the female and the guy) a place to stay. i think of it particularly is distinctive for women folk by using fact traditionally women folk lived at abode until they have been married, at the same time as adult adult males went off to circulate to college or have been given jobs. many women folk who on no account married lived at abode so long they finally grew to grow to be care takers of their mothers and dads and inherited the abode and different sources after their mothers and dads passing. regrettably this custom that's relatively, very previous, nonetheless has a great impact on how and what society thinks. Many nonetheless think of this way. there's a extensive detrimental stereotype for adult adult males who stay at with their mothers and dads, at the same time as women folk who stay with their mothers and dads are seen as sturdy doers or by some ability making a sacrifice.
2016-10-20 02:22:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he feels bad telling them to move tell them if they live there they need to pay rent. They should want to move on with their lives and get out from under dad's roof tell him to just tell them to move and not give them an option of coming home.
2007-03-27 12:43:07 · answer #8 · answered by chiefs fan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit them down and just plain tell them it is time to get out and get a life of their own. Stop putting out financially to them also. If you don't straight out tell them to get on with their lives, chances are, they will be there forever. tell them that you two needs your time together, alone now.
2007-03-27 12:43:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE A SERIOUS TALK WITH THE KIDS AND BE GROWN HERE. HOW DO WE LEARN IF WE DON'T FAIL SOMETIMES?
MY BROTHER IN LAW IS DOING THE SAME DAMAGE TO HIS 2 GROWN KIDS RIGHT NOW. I HATE IT. BUT UNTIL HE TAKES CHARGE AND ACTS THE GROWNUP, THE SICKNESS WILL CONTINUE.
MAY YOU HAVE GOOD RESULTS SOON. CHOOSE HEALTY INSTEAD OF SICKNESS IN YOUR HOUSE.
2007-03-27 12:44:35 · answer #10 · answered by Jyssi Leeann 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋