how do u tell a guy you want him to stop hurting you.when he gets mad he likes to grab me to hard and push me around and i dont know how to tell him he needs to be more gentle without pissing him off. I try not to make him mad to aviod it but he always finds something to be angry about i love him and never wanna break up wiht him but i dont know how to stop making him mad. any ideas would be great thanxs guys
2007-03-27 12:36:07 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Dump him...NEVER let any man hurt you physically..It will only get worse...you have been warned.
2007-04-04 08:04:42 · answer #1 · answered by fajita 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT!!! Honestly, I promise you that it will end badly, with you getting hurt more either physically or emotionally. It may not seem like it, but you are in an abusive relationship. There is no way to stop making him mad, that's just (an evil) part of who he is. I know you love him, but honestly, if your best friend or mother was in your situation, what would you tell them? If he really, trully loves you, then he wouldn't hurt you. Don't take the excuses, if there are any. "I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you. I feel terrible, like a monster. I love you so much." That's bull****, if he didn't want to hurt you he wouldn't, those things are in our controll, and sub consiously as well. This man should not have control over you. He should respect you, all the time, no matter how cliche that sounds. It is not your fault that he does these things, no matter what he says. If he thinks he can push you around now, how about in a few years? It's just going to get worse. I promise you that. (and it is NEVER your fault!!!)
2007-04-04 19:34:32 · answer #2 · answered by ajc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing you can do or say to make him stop being that angry. He obviously has anger issues and if he's grabbing you and pushing you now, he will only be hitting you and throwing you later. I know this is a very difficult situation because you love him and you don't wanna break up because you love him. But you need to break it off. Tell him over the phone so he won't hurt you. Tell him why. If he loves you enough he will go get professional help. Even then you need to be careful. If he is abusive he will always have that in him.
2007-04-04 19:23:41 · answer #3 · answered by Stephanie W 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
babe, you need to drop this guy an run as fast as you can away from your abusive relationship. You may feel that you are the one making him mad all the time, but the truth of the matter is that he will find something to be mad about no matter what you do.
Next time he hurts you you need to tell him that it hurts and he needs to stop. If he blows it off or hurts you even more, that tells you that he doesn't even care enough about your relationship to listen to what you have to say.
2007-04-04 18:40:34 · answer #4 · answered by Jenny J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, i'm sorry to say, but you need to get away from this fella! he's not thinking about hurting or not hurting you and he probably never will. this is something that he's bringing to the relationship because of his life. unless he gets some kind of help, this will continue and likely get worse. you need to find a support system to help you determine what your personal boundaries are AND how to protect them. I recommend that you reach out to level-headed friends or family members who are able to help you find what's in YOUR best interests. If you don't have this, maybe a women's group in your community offers counseling? In the meantime, you can say, "I need you to be more gentle with me. I feel like you don't care about me when you touch me so roughly. I'm sorry if that hurts your feelings or makes you frustrated, but I really want you to know how I feel so that we can have more fun together."
2007-04-04 19:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by verita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, Get the hell outa that relashonship. before you really get hurt. If he loved and respected you he would never ever lay a finger on you that way. he may have anger manegment problems and thats never a good situation to be in. If he treats you that way now, what happens if he gets drunk one night? he could really hurt you maybe not even meaning it. If i were you I would talk to him about in calm and if he gets mad then you should leave him. You shouldn't be in a relashonship based on being afraid of the other person.
2007-04-04 17:14:28 · answer #6 · answered by Mimi G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave this guy alone. He's ABUSIVE and it will only get worse. You think you love him, but you'll get over it. Abuse always begins with pushing, shoving and slowly escalates to slaps, punches and even kicks. You don't need this Honey. You sound very young. Take some advise from someone who's seen this happen to my own family members. You don't want to end up dead. Get someone who Loves you and treats you like a Queen.
2007-04-04 19:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by BallieT 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You probably will never stop making him mad. There is probably something that he feels bad about that is making him a miserable person so he takes it out on you. Or he is just a psychopath. He needs therapy and Jesus. You cannot change people, they must see their faults. I would get the heck away from him or your story is going to be a lifetime movie.
2007-04-04 18:04:12 · answer #8 · answered by ggirlgail89 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't have to tell a guy how not to hurt you. He's perfectly aware of the fact that he's being offensive to you mentally, emotionally and physically. For you to assume responsibility for his abuse of you is wrong. Get rid of him as soon as possible. He is a loser and a ticking time bomb. He may do some serious harm to you if you don't. I've seen the results of such things and if you think he wont, just remind yourself of how he's treating you now and how it makes you feel.
2007-04-04 16:04:53 · answer #9 · answered by sustasue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The next time he grabs you...tell him that he is hurting you and start to cry. Judge his reaction then decide what to do. If he becomes apologetic, its time to have a meaningful discussion with him that his physical behaviour towards you is hurtful. If he doesn't become apologetic, its time to get out.
I know that you probably don't want to hear it, but people that are prone to violent behaviour do not change unless there is some significant event to "wake" them up. For some, this will be as good as it ever gets. It usually gets worse. You may love him (most woman always love their abuser), but you have to be aware that it may never get better. Is that something you can live with? Is it something you would allow your kids to live with?
My ex-girlfriend was in a similar relationship with her ex-husband. He physically and emotionally abused her (not to mention wasting their money, cheating on her, gambled). She was with him for 12 years before she left. It took her being beaten in front of her 3 year child to finally wake up and leave.
Don't let it take 12 years for you to make the same decision.
2007-03-29 16:09:57 · answer #10 · answered by CBB 5 · 3⤊ 2⤋
what the freak y do u want 2 be w/ someone who don't respect u??? If he put his hands on ya again than handle ur business... u don't have a tatto on ur face that says everlast so let 'em kno what's good... and if he cant' handle it than tell ur daddy... daddy's usually don't want nobodii messin w/ their baby gurl....u can't stop making him mad and if u continue to allow urself to be a anger release object than u may find urself 6 ft under (buried) so get it together b4 its 2 late... and drop his punk a**
2007-04-04 16:49:45 · answer #11 · answered by Pr!nc355 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋