My sister in law is getting married and is on a super low budget. Just to use the facilities at the church is really expensive, so we figured to have dinner at a local steakhouse where they said we can have the cake and things set up. So it will be sort of like a reception, but just like a dinner for everyone to gather at. Cake will absolutely be free (as any other reception), but I was wondering how we could invite the handful of guests that are going to attend and inform them that if they want to eat dinner, they should pay for that.
I can't word this without it sounding tacky, but my sister in law would love for people to join us for dinner, we just don't have the budget to feed people. I know with any usual reception the food is provided, but this is more like a "gathering" to congratulate the happy couple.
Isn't there a way to word this where it doesn't sound odd/tacky?
HELP! Thanks!!!
2007-03-27 12:26:01 · 13 answers · asked by CC 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Reception room is located at the Cheshire Restaurant. We have a room reserved for gathering and the cutting of the cake, all guests are welcome to join us there immediately after the wedding. Dinner is not provided, but the restaurant will offer menus for anyone wishing to order.
2007-03-27 12:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by Jarien 5 · 8⤊ 3⤋
You might want to check with another church, for one. Lots of churches have attached banquet facilities or halls. The steakhouse seems inappropriate if your bride is all dressed up...she wont feel special in a public steakhouse with kids running by and such. I would suggest the happy couple, wedding party and immediate family go out to dinner (dutch everyone pays for their own) then you go to a place where y ou can get a room/hall or proper facility and just serve cake and punch for the guests. There is usually quite a delay between the wedding and reception anyhow for pictures. thats my best idea.... other than that, I would suggest you postpone, reduce your guest list and go for the whole cha-bang. We have found most all inclusive banquet facilities in this area are around $22 per person for the meal, the hall and the music.... very reasonable.... and gives the bride a day she can remember.... call the local Columbans, call the local church and ask the church lady where people go for receptions and look under banquets in your yellow pages... if your bride chooses a day other than Sat. she can save a bundle too.... and then she can have her wedding cake and eat it too... God Bless
2007-03-27 15:16:56 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there any gathering place at the church, like a parish hall? I would have cake and beverages there and a formal receiving line for everyone to greet the couple. Having it at a restaurant and expecting people to pay for their own is in extremely bad taste. I had a friend get married on a budget and they just did the receiving line, cake and lemonade and it was a nice simple gathering. Tell your sister to rethink her plans. Also, with a cake and lemonade reception the paster/officiant can just simply announce it at the end of the ceremony after the couple goes down the aisle---saving her the money of having another card printed! ("The couple invites you to join them in the parish hall for a small gathering to celebrate the occasion.")
2007-03-27 13:31:00 · answer #3 · answered by GAjen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why not have the party at someone's home. You could purchase dinner for 30 or more people with chicken and steak and sides for under $250. Just think it your sister and law and brother and you and your parents eat dinner at a resturant the bill will be about $125 to 150 grand parents 50 so that is almost $200. If you start saving now you can get the money and if they are really broke they should get food stamps. they could feed a whole party for that money and have a great day with no one feeling odd or tacky
2007-03-27 12:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by ashlandtree 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't think there is a right way to do this. By asking people to pay, you are basically asking them to pay for your wedding reception.
I would find a space to have a get together that doesn't cost anything, church hall, park pavillion or someone's house and then have the close family members (parents, siblings, grandparents) bring a couple dishes. This way food is provided and the guests don't have to pay.
You'll probably have more fun anyway because you can play music and roam around and mingle. If you have it in a restaurant everyone will be confined to their seats.
2007-03-27 12:52:46 · answer #5 · answered by cindya621 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Here's how you word it: "Dessert reception at Blank Restuarant, 123 Main Street, Anytown, beginning at 8:00pm. please RSVP to My Myself at (123) 456-7890."
That way, people know the official reception is only about the cake/dessert. When people call you to RSVP, you can let them know that the bridal party is having dinner there beforehand, and they are welcome to attend if they wish, but it isn't part of the formal reception. It's much easier and more polite to explain this in person or over the phone, than it is to print it in an invitation. I'm sure when you tell people on the phone that it's a "buy your own dinner" situation because of the low budget, they'll understand.
2007-03-27 12:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by teresathegreat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought a lot about this and the only "non-tacky" way I could think of was to put the following maybe on a separate card:
Please join the couple to celebrate their wedding vows at "such and such place" immediately following the ceremony.
Then use word of mouth to let everyone know that only cake is provided. I also like what Jarien said to say but I would put that on a separate card not on the invite.
I hope this helps.
2007-03-27 12:34:56 · answer #7 · answered by Kristin Pregnant with #4 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There's just no way to do this without being tacky. It's no crime to offer cake and punch for a reception. Why not do it at someone's home, or the church activity room?
2007-03-27 16:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by Tiss 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
not sure about doing that, if you have people coming to the church i really think you should have somekind of gathering without people paying. Is there a family member with a nice yard that you could have a gathering at? You can do this pretty cheap- have close family and friends make a few dishes,etc. I am sure people will be willing to help out!
2007-03-27 12:37:36 · answer #9 · answered by ***35*** 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just say some thing like" You are invited to an afternoon reception to congratulate the bride and groom on their marriage. Cake and coffee will be served at this time.
2007-03-27 13:13:54 · answer #10 · answered by Marilyn H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see how you can get around the tackiness of asking guests to pay for their own meal. They have ceased to become guests when you do this. Better idea: host what you can afford. If cake and punch is what is affordable, then do that.
2007-03-27 12:41:04 · answer #11 · answered by Kraftee 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋