Moral dilemma!!! Intruding nephew. What should I do?
I just got married on Feb 17 to my fiance of 4 years. Right before this his 21 yearold nephew came out of nowhere and asked my husband to help him get a job. My husband hired him. He would rarely make it to work on time or show up at all. He than asked to move into our house after the wedding so he could get himselg in a position to save money and make it to work. That was the plan. He goes out and parties all the time and still is rarely making it to work. My husband is in a very high position in his company and this is making him look bad. I told my husband that the situation is not working and the kid needs to leave. He tells me I can leave. He comes in at all hours whenever he feels like it. He hasnt given me any money for bills or food and he is a complete slob and wont clean up after himself much less offer to do any daily chores. I also believe he is doing drugs. What should I do? I cant help but think that my brand new marraige is coming to a quick end!
2007-03-27 11:58:31 · 7 answers · asked by vegasgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
This is a really crappy situation and I'm sorry you are going through it. Basically, your marriage is #1 and if he's causeing stree he needs to leave. He sounds like a mooch anyway and is just costing you money. He's obviously not keeping his end of the bargain so I'd say he lost his chance. His using drugs could really be the dealbreaker and you can use that as an excuse. If you need to, get the law involved. Also, your husband doesn't need this guy making him look bad at work. He really needs to leave. BYW did the nephew or your husband say you can leave? I hope it was the nephew! Good Luck!
2007-03-27 12:08:36 · answer #1 · answered by Kittieashy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just to be clear when you Refer to "HE says I can leave", do you mean your Husband or Nephew????
If you are referring to your Nephew, sit down with your husband and him and lay down some rules if they are not followed the Nephew will be kicked to the curb........ he is not a child and could fend for himself at 21.....
Now, if your Husband told you, you can leave......... Talk to him again, let him know you are serious about the situation. I suspect you are a young bride and a bit intimidated by your husband or his position......Now if he still says to leave.......LEAVE Pack All your clothes and Valuables (the nephew may take em) and go stay with friends or family for a while........You mentioned your husband is getting flack at work about your nephew....... Let him come home to No dinner on the table, no clean laundry, No food in the fridge, a messy home from the Nephew. Let him come home all hours when your husband need to go to work the next day. Your husband will get tired of the situation pretty quick. Right now he does not have to deal with the Nephew, you do.....
Let him have to deal with the Nephew, my guess is he will be calling you within the week to come back..... Give him the ultimatum The nephew or you......... If he still picks the nephew then there is something wrong with him.......Get the hell out of the marriage.....
2007-03-27 12:23:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your husband is more worried about his nephew than you or your marriage. I say this since he said that you could leave. Personally, I would leave. This is your house, put your foot down, and if your husband doesn't like it, tell him to leave with hi nephew. I sound cruel, but I definitely would not take the nephews crap or your husbands insensitivity.
2007-03-27 12:47:59 · answer #3 · answered by franny1120 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all when your husband got married he married you not his nephew and if he tells you to leave when you are discussing asking his nephew to leave then maybe you should just to see what he would do......you are his priority now not his nephew and i can tell you girl from experience they dont leave (the houseguests) they get away with what they are doing and thats that they know how to play the game of not tending to their own lives and taking care of them selfs he has his cake and eating the fire out of it right under your nose and it will destroy your marriage for certain........good luck but kick him to the curb and if hubby dont like it then girl get you a new man......
2007-03-27 12:12:57 · answer #4 · answered by att_i_tude2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be nice to ur husband and just act as if u r very much irritated b4 his nephew...if he has any self respect,he will leave ur home.don't help ur husband's nephew in anyway.Talk with his nephew....ask him to behave properly and do his stuff
2007-03-27 12:49:51 · answer #5 · answered by katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
where are this kids parents? why can't they take care of him? how about his grandparents? tell him to hit the road. if your husband refuses to come to a compromise and continues to allow his nephew to take advantage of the situation, then leave.
2007-03-27 12:11:37 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bail out while you still can...file tomorrow.
2007-03-27 12:08:39 · answer #7 · answered by IGH3Rat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋