How do i deal with a really stubbon four year old?

Answer 1

Some children can put mules to shame. When they decide to dig their heels in, no matter how much you cajole and threaten them, they just won't budge. This can be a truly frustrating experience for harassed parents just trying to go about the business of raising good children. It becomes a battle of wills with both sides waiting to see who will give in first. While some children are more stubborn than others, all children display stubborn behaviour at some time or another. And most parents find that they are at a loss in such situations. Their instinctive reaction is to react with anger as they feel that their child's behaviour is a challenge to their authority. However, they soon find that anger only serves to fan the flames.

useful tips

Identify the problem and involve your child in seeking a solution. You will cease to be the enemy and she will feel that you are both on the same side.
If you want your child to do something, try to time your request so that it does not interrupt her while she is doing something else. This is one way of avoiding conflict.
If your child is not very happy about change, give her adequate notice so that she knows what to expect and is willing to cooperate.
Be assertive when asking your child to do something. You are not asking them for a favour. Also, make clear the consequences of non-compliance.
Keep in mind that your requests should be reasonable.
Praise her when she is cooperative and well-behaved.

Answer 2

I have found that the best discipline for my 4 year old is 2 take away his fav movies. That tears him up more than anything in this world. I also get down 2 his level and I explain 2 him "Malachi we don't act like that in this house, and your not going to either" and "Malachi, this is your last warning if you continue to act out, you will not get 2 visit your nana this weekend or watch your moves" and I stick w/ it. Consistancy is the key, eventually your child will learn that he/she is not going to run the show and eventually will get to the point to where they realize "hey if I do this... mommy is going 2 take (such and such) away from me"!

If that doesnt work, the best suggestion I can give you is 2 buy the book thats written by the TV series "Super Nanny, or Nanny 911" I've found a lot of useful information reading that book and watching what the nanny says to other parents who have unruley children on the show.


ALSO REMEMBER BE CALM, BUT USE A STERN VOICE, CHILDREN GET A KICK OUT OF WATCHING THEIR PARENTS EMOTIONALLY FALL APART.

Spanking isn't an option that will make your child unruley later on in life, they will assume that the best way 2 deal w/ a prob or someone who is not doing things their way is 2 hit them. I used 2 spank my son but then he started hitting me and his little brother everytime we didnt give into what he wanted when he wanted, so now I have found other methods and his hitting has reduced drastically!

Answer 3

Remember that you are an ADULT first and a parent second. Think about this. React as an adult, not necessarily as a parent.

Also every kid has leverage. Find out what your child likes most of all and make it a privilege, not a right. When your child obeys your reasonable orders and is well-behaved (for their age; they're not tiny adults) - then they get their favourite things. Good things are earned by good behaviour - just like adults have to face in real life. We only get the things we want by doing things we don't always want to do, right? Otherwise we wouldn't go to work! Same principle for a child. Do the right thing, get the fun stuff. Simple. Good luck!

Answer 4

Try the book "1-2-3 Magic"....it worked like a charm for me. But seriously, there isn't a lot you can do unless, and until, you remain consistent and follow through when disciplining them. Its not a short process. It takes a lot of energy on the parent's part and that part is tough, especially if you've been working all day or whatever. In the meantime, he/she is going to push as far as he/she can to see what they can get away with. Its totally normal. Don't give in and don't lose your cool. Frankly, I occasionally think a little pop on the butt is the way to go, but in most areas this is considered abusive and who needs the headache of CPS at your door???? So, best thing you can do is lay out the consequences for negative behavior and follow through.

Answer 5

Patience and consistancy, my daughter is now 6 and there were times I did not know if we would survive. Stick to your word no matter how worn you are, if you cave it will set you back. She really really hated the corner (and I had to hold her there a lot). Take 5 things away at once, instead of one and make it at least one day and one night, keep it where they can see it but not reach it. There were many times I cried as much as she did when I was holding her in the corner but eventually she got it. And I always told my husband it will be a good survival skill later in life (people will not walk on her) if we can survive it. (ha ha) And a word of wisdom once he/she is doing better still stick to one warning because they fall right back in if they see you are easing up. And I do not believe in spanking, we tried it (2 or 3 times) and it does no good for a very stubborn child!! You have to find what gets to them, I read in a magazine once the mom put their favorite toy/doll whatever in time out and it worked for her. Good Luck, mine has gotten better with age.

Answer 6

Punish & Reward
this the best cosept to deal with the stubberonnes creatures at all, including children.
Usually the motivations and needs for al little child, such as candy or going out, have the privelage for a foul situation.
Morover the asspect that a Man always avoids any sort of harm, will make your children abey you and avoid the punishment .

Answer 7

Mine is the same way and mouthy too. I have found telling her rather than asking her to do something works. And being consistant - really consistant makes the biggest difference. Don't make idol threats because then they never know if you are serious or not, whether they will really not be getting desert for not finishing dinner - and maybe if they throw more of a fit you'll give in. Never give in. It's not easy and it's not fun but it works. You have to be all over them, all of the time.

Answer 8

NEVER get into a power struggle with them! How do you do that? NEVER tell them what to do. I'm serious!

Let them know what YOU'RE going to do. For example, you can tell them, "I'll be happy to fix your snack as soon as you pick up your toys." If they pick up their toys they get a snack. If not, they don't.

The trick is to know what makes them tick so you can use it.

When our son was 2 I was so stressed my hair was literally falling out. We took a Parenting with Love and Logic class and read the books and it SAVED OUR LIFE!!!

I highly suggest checking it out!

Answer 9

DEAR

ONE WORD SPANK HIS ARE HER BOTTOM

AND WHEN YOU DO IT USE A STRONG VOICE LIKE MOMMY SAID NO ARE MOMMY SAID YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW AND THEN TAKE THEM PUT THEN IN THERE HIGH CHAIR LIKE ON THERE KNEES NOSE TO THE WALL

AND IF HE ARE SHE TRYS TO KICK YOU WHEN YOU PICK THEM UP TO PUT THEM IN IT SPANK AGAIN A MESSAGE WILL BE SENT LIKE A COMPUTER CHIP IN A COMPUTER HEY WAIT JUST A MINUTE MOMMY IS NOT PLAY WITH ME ARE YOU OK

TAKE CARE

Answer 10

Tough Love

:)

Don't be afraid of it. It is your friend. It will keep your child out of juvi in 10 years.