Yeah, so my fiance also just found out yesterday that he has a kid from his ex gf. On one hand he is perfect for me and a very good guy, but on the other hand I am only 21 and I think I'm too young to deal with such baggage. This really bothers me and I don't know what to do. I told him that we should take a break until I work things out, what do you guys think?
A bit of background: The ex-gf is now married and has new kids with her husband. My fiance is not going to contact her/support the kid until he is older because it was a very abusive relationship (on her part) and because the ex-gf raped him when they conceived the kid. Because their relationship was so horrible, he never wants to see her again. I say that he STILL needs to show some responsiblity and contact the mom, even if they want nothing to do with each other. If we get back together I think I will insist that he does this.
2007-03-27 11:36:36 · 5 answers · asked by dgf a 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ok, now I found out that not only was not consensul, the ex gf refused to take the morning after pill AND she cut a hole in the condom!!! she was a psycho and did this to stop him from breaking up from her. given that she tricked my fiance to getting her pregnant, does he still have responsibility for the kid?
2007-03-27 12:45:57 · update #1
well, I'm sorry to the person who would imply that somehow I would be a mom for the rest of my life, but my fiance contacted the mother and she has happily moved on and needs no help in childraising.
2007-03-28 10:56:06 · update #2
I don't think you guys should take a break because of this...you both found out at the same time! You're dealing with this at the same time! You need to be there for him because he's not going to know what to do and he's probably confused, angry, and scared...probably he's more scared of losing you than anything else. Just hang in there. Good luck with everything.
2007-03-27 11:41:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Background is meaningless, sorry but that is true.
The only thing you need to worry about is if this is for you or not. The circumstances are now completely different, you are not only marrying him, but his ex too. Don't think for a minute that she will not be part of your life and/or trouble. Is this really want you want? Do you really want to be an instant mommy, because that is what you will be at some point. This is a huge difference then what you were planning.
If I were you, I would find a new boyfriend. However if you choose otherwise, you have been warned and signed up anyway. So no complaining later.
2007-03-27 11:45:24 · answer #2 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice little surpise before the wedding, huh? Well consider it a gift from God.
Your fiance may have more suprises waiting for you but you need to decide what you want first.
In my opinion, 21 is a little young to be married but that's your choice. And it sounds like you're about to get into some drama. If that's what you want then go for it.
2007-03-27 11:45:11 · answer #3 · answered by m k 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The father needs to take responsiblity. And that means paying child support. If the two of you dont think of the kid.
the kid will regret the two of you for not dealing with him. If you truly love this man you will except the fact he has a kid. Now adays how many men or women dont have kids that are in relationships.
2007-03-27 11:42:15 · answer #4 · answered by hascht2 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its pretty messed up that his ex waited so long to tell him that he had a child, it must be difficult for your fiance. Support him, whatever he decides to do, as someone who loves him.
If you're worried that you're not ready to handle a child part-time, you might think about your engagement - are you ready to be married? 21 is young, and if you don't think you're ready for all of this new responsibility, take a step back and re-evaluate what you want.
2007-03-27 11:42:31 · answer #5 · answered by eileezy2002 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋