cheating????????

Question

I know my sister(Karah) is cheating on her boyfriend(Matt). My bestfriend(Erica) is matt's older sister. Erica and I keep nothing from each other. Do I tell Erica? Or do I keep my sisters secret?

Karah is 20 and just recently found out see was pregnant. She told me that it's not Matt's its the other guy. What do I do and what advice do you have for me to give my sister?

Kat ? Thanks for the advice but Im sure Matts not cheating( I wish he was it would make this a lot easier) But Karah will stay out until like 3 in the morning and Matt will be on my parents sofa waiting for her to get home because she wont answer her phone. When she gets home he kisses her and ask her where shes been....she lies and says she tried and he leaves. He really loves her and that what is soooo bad about this whole mess.

Matt also told me a few month ago that he was so glad that me and Erica were bestfriend because if we had not been he may have never found the love of his life.

Answer 1

OK...you are caught in the middle and basically you are forced to choose between your best friend and your family. My suggestion...stick with the family. I know it's hard and I'm not suggesting that you stick on your sister's side because "blood is thicker than water," but the way I see it, if you get involved you are going to lose no matter what you do.

Here's the deal...if you tell Erica that her brother is getting cheated on by your sister, she will be mad at her and consequently take it out on you since she will want to find someone to blame. Plus when your sister finds out that you told Erica (and she WILL), Karah will be sooooo mad at you and never trust you with anything ever again (most likely...I know I wouldn't). So, if you are looking at things from the long-run perspective...it is more valuable to keep your sister as a friend as she will be there always, since you are family and Erica doesn't have to be there...god knows, maybe you'll have a fight over some guy in the future and she will stop being your friend...and since you chose Erica over your sister you will be left with no friends at all. What I'm saying is that your sister sticking around for the long-run is more likely than your best friend sticking around (I mean you guys might go to a different college, move to different places and lose touch, but your sis will be around cos she's family).

So, bottom line...don't tell Erica and keep your sister's trust. Even when and if Erica finds out about your sister cheating on her brother, you can always pretend you didn't know about it and still keep her as a friend.

I know it's hard to lie to your best friend and it's not pleasant and you feel like you are betraying her, but my experience has thought me (the hard way) never to get involved in these things cos you will lose no matter what you do. So, in other words, stay out of it. (I mean, you never know, maybe Matt is cheating on Karah too...how can you be sure he isn't? You can't be sure...and you don't want to get involved into something on which you don't have all the facts!) No matter what happens, you have to stay out of it and let Karah and Matt figure it out themselves!

As for the second question...I know you think that Karah is not doing the right thing and it hurts you to see her treat a guy like that...again suck it up and stay out of it! Don't say anything to her aside from: "Get an abortion cos you are too young to have a kid!"...other than that, don't say anything. If she asks you whether she should tell Matt about the baby and cheating on him...do NOT tell her how you feel...cos if you suggest she should tell him everything, she might do it and when he breaks up with her, it will be your fault! So, just say that she should know that you love her (since she is and always will be your sister), that you will be there for her no matter what, that you will support any kind of decision she makes, BUT that you don't wish to get involved cos it's none of your business!

You can do this...good luck!

In reply...OK, so Matt is a good guy and does not deserve to be treated this way and I really understand how you feel...I feel bad for him now!!! But still...yes, your sister is acting like a fool, but you know what? Matt is also to blame here...he is too nice to her...he should put his foot down, but instead he LETS her treat him this way (it's a choice). The thing is also that Karah is too young to appreciate a good, reliable man and just wants to party. And no matter what you do/say to her, she won't change her behavior until she figures out on HER OWN that good guys like Matt are keepers. So, my suggestion is still let them figure it out! The most you should do (and it's still not a good idea, but if you really want to do something you should do this:) you should just casually mention to him one of these days (when you two are ALONE)...just tell him that you are sorry for the way your sis behaves and that you really wish, she would start treating him better. And then just see what he replies. But under no circumstances should you talk to Erica (girls have a tendency to blow things out of proportion so just go straight to the source-Matt).

Listen, I know you feel bad for him, but he's not stupid either...he knows what she's doing - he just doesn't want to face the truth, cos it would hurt too much as he really loves her. So, it's the same with him as with your sister...he has to come to a conclusion that he's in a bad relationship and needs to end it and until he understands that, there is nothing you can do...actually, there is...all you can do is cause more problems. Please believe me when I say that you should keep your mouth shut no matter what! Email me if you need anything...

Answer 2

Try talking to your sister and have her tell Matt. Matt doesn't deserve that, so someone should tell him. I don't really know it's a very hard decision on your part. It's not your business but it is your business because you know what your sisters doing. Maybe if you tell Erica, she can talk to her brother and you can talk to Karah...They need to just end it because Matt's going to get very hurt knowing that the unborn baby isn't his.

Good Luck with it!!

Answer 3

Honey in case you have already got evidence he's cheating ("So i think of my bf is cheating doing the internet element I do have evidence, yet he hides his "cookies" temp documents that can hint what you're doing on line.. ") why might you prefer to proceed torturing your self searching for added info? merely kick him to the slash noone merits to be cheated on. i recognize its much less perplexing mentioned than performed with the aid of fact i'm effective you like him, yet love your self greater. No guy is ever properly worth your tears.

Answer 4

Never betray your sister. You will never have a good relationship with her again. This will carry well into the adult years.
We all need our sisters at one time or another in our lives. Your sister comes before any of your friends. Friends come and go. But family is forever!

Answer 5

for the 1st ques. i think you should tell your sister because the dude matt is gonna find out sometime soon anyway cause shes pregnant

Answer 6

Tell your sister that either she tells her boyfriend or you will. then tell him if she refuses. Your sister is being unfair, and does not deserve to be in a relationship with her boyfriend. I know she is your sister, but her boyfriend deserves to know what he is dating.

Answer 7

dont tell erica, tell matt, to his face.
he diserves to know, especially if shes prego.

Answer 8

Tell her. If she is your real best friend she would understand .

Answer 9

let it go...none of your business

Answer 10

TELL ERICA!!!