I have a niece and she wants a lock on her own bedroom 'cuz she thinks that because she's 13 she now wants privacy of her own. When my sister says that she can't have one, she (my neice) asked, "How come you have a lock on your room?" and that it wasn't fair to her... she also said that her younger brother (being the typical naughty, annoying, and hyperactive little brothers) kept intruding into her room just to bother her.
Parents, what do you think about this situation? Should my sister consent to her daughter's request and go ahead put a lock on her door? Do you have your own lock in your bedrooms?
2007-03-27 10:38:04 · 36 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No, no child deserves that much privacy. I'm sure your sis is a good mom who grants a respectful amount of privacy to your daughter. Having said that, she needs and deserves the ability to barge in anytime she deems necessary. She is the parent, and the authority, and it may not be fair to a 13 year old but that's the rule at my house, too.
As for myself, no, I don't have locks on any bedroom doors in my home. Bathrooms only - and that's only because they came that way. But to each their own. :)
2007-03-27 11:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No, I wouldn't. I'm 24 and I have a 5 year old. I know what I was doing when I was 15-16. Thanks to the lock I was able to sneak in boys into my room, I got away with it for a couple of years. I totally think that putting a lock in a child's room is the wrong way to go, if you were talking about someone who was older (over 19-20) and out of school, I would understand. Some times you do need privacy, but at 13 you don't. As far as the adult putting a lock in her room, she's an adult, she shouldn't have to answer, anyway, at 13 she should already know what goes on in an adults room. My little cousins that are that age know.
2007-03-27 10:55:05 · answer #2 · answered by Manny Girl 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well I personally think that everyone has turned this question in total circus. I personally don't see anything wrong with giving her a lock to her room. Besides, if the parents are that worried they should just make an extra key. If she has a pesky little brother and she is trying to concentrate on lets say "HOMEWORK" and mom is cooking dinner she obviously can't be in all places at once. I just had to throw that in because they will say it is parenting techniques. If they are worried about boys being in or sneaking into her room they have these things called sensors that you can attach to all to openings of the house that beep. So, if there is a window that is opened and it happens to be at night it would beep and you can go check on her. I personally don't see any problem with a 13 year old wanting a little privacy its not the worst thing in the world.
2007-04-04 08:11:12 · answer #3 · answered by pattiof 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not allow any locks on any doors except my bedroom. Why? Because I do not think that children should be allowed to lock their parents out. I think that your sister is right to say no and she should tell her daughter that when she is an adult(18) and out on her own then she can lock anything she wants. But your sister is an adult so a lock on her bedroom has nothing to do with her child! I would just tell my daughter that I am the adult and you are the child and there are different rules for children!
Good Luck and God Bless
2007-04-03 08:55:22 · answer #4 · answered by knight_janette 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girls are wierd. We all know that, and a 13 year old is beginning to go through a lot of changes.
I have a lock on my bedroom door. I like my privacy, and so do they.
If the mother feels uncomfortable with having a lock on her daughter's door, make a compromise.
Put a lock on her door, but as the mother, keep the key. Knock before you enter and ony use the key when absolutely necessary. This will give the parents a sense of authority, but the daughter a sense of privacy at the same time.
2007-03-31 17:51:17 · answer #5 · answered by Mother of three 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Im an adult I put a lock on my door because I am an adult and there are things that children shouldnt see and they surely shouldnt just barge right in. At 13 I understand and agree she needs privacy and I am all for parents knocking before entering a childs room but not putting a lock on the door. Once that lock is on god only knows what she would be doing in there and I am not taking about sex.. Her brother needs to have some rules and punshiment associated with breaking rules such as he can not go into her room without knocking and asking can he come in if he fails to do that your sister needs to have some sort of punishment for him. I lived at home til I was 16 went off to college then came back at 20 and STILL didnt have a lock on my door..
2007-03-27 11:15:23 · answer #6 · answered by texas_angel_wattitude 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I always had a lock on my bedroom door when I was growing up just because that is how the house was built, but I knew better than to lock my parents out. That would be ther restriction. If your sister ever wanted to get in and she would not unlock the door, I would say that the lock would come off. I also had a strict rule that when friends were over, the door had to remain open, if I closed it my mom would come and open it up just to see what we were doing. At 13, I would allow it, but give strick limitations and if they are broken then the lock comes off.
2007-04-03 06:46:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a lock on our bedroom door, but with kids around very rarely use it because I like to be available for them at all times. My mom never let me have a lock on my door when I was younger. She explained that if the house were on fire, I could sleep right through it and nobody would be able to come in and get me. I always had that in the back of my mind, and was appreciative that she was trying to protect me.
As for her brother, she can keep him out by using her wits...lol
Brothers love to torment their sisters, making them very angry. Tell the girl to just quietly smile at her brother when he barges in or at any other time he is being a pain. The poor kid will think she is nuts and boring at the same time and will leave her alone. This works at any age, really...
Good Luck!
2007-04-03 05:28:53 · answer #8 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My daughter is 14 now and has to share a room with her 4 year old little brother. Privacy is a luxury, a reward in our home when it comes to her. There are many occasions she even loses the entire bedroom door when she is disrespectful to other family members privacy and things. It's a privelege and your sister (her mom) has more than earned hers because she is an adult.
When I move my son into a room with his little sister this summer my 14 year old daughter will still not have a lock on her door. It's my home, I paid for it and unless she's paying rent there will never be a lock on that door.
2007-03-27 14:16:51 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I want a lock on my bedroom door in case there's, ahem, activity going on in there inappropriate for children's viewing. I wouldn't use it any other time.
Regarding my kids' doors, I'm not comfortable with a lock on them - and yes I know it's a different rule, but different rules apply to parents and children on many things, and this is entirely appropriate (like curfews, credit cards, etc). Parents are adults and a 13 year old is not. Parents are responsible for everything that goes on in the house, and a 13 year old is not. It is only right that parents get extra privledges.
I would make a rule about intruding in the bedrooms without permission and assign a punishment strong enough to make it not worth it - grounding, cut off from allowance or video games, etc. One warning is all they get. One toe in or shouting from the doorway counts also. Kids need to learn to respect each others' space, and above the age of 3 have the self-control to do it (below 3, a child-proof door handle cover should do the trick).
2007-03-27 11:00:50 · answer #10 · answered by KC 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
My answer is no. She should not have a lock on her door. Something could happen to her and noone could get in to help her. Her brothers\ sisters may be going in her room and annoying her but hey, it's better to keep safe. I know because I'm 12 myself going on 13 and I also have an annoying brother that keeps coming in my room. I've watched the news and I see what happens to girls our age so,.... I wouldn't want a lock on my door.
2007-04-04 10:36:12 · answer #11 · answered by luckybefree 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋