Should I get my son a present?

Question

My friend's daughter is turning three on Sunday and having a birthday party. I have a son who turns three in July and the two toddlers are best friends. We have been invited to the birthday party and my son seems to somewhat understand that it is her birthday and that she is having a party, etc. He asked if he was getting presents at the party and I said no, it is not your birthday yet, it's your friend's birthday this time. And I don't think he quite grasps the whole concept of this....should I get him something small to open at the party? Or is that wrong? He's a really good kid, very good - I just don't want him to get upset and cause a scene, not understanding why his friend is getting all the gifts. I think he's a little young to understand this fully.

What do you all think?

These are EXCELLENT answers, thanks so much!

Answer 1

I wouldn't.

I would introduce him to giving gifts instead of receiving. He has to learn someday.

Also, he may be a little young BUT there has to be a start.

Answer 2

Getting your child a present as well defeats the purpose of presents at a birthday party. It's an occasion for that person only. Although your child may not understand the concept, by next year he should. If he causes a scene take him outside until he cools down.

My son who is also 3 and turns 4 in July has attented many birthday parties and has maybe caused a scene once. After talking to him, he understood that the gifts were for the birthday person and not him.

Answer 3

No. How would you feel if your son saw kids opening gifts at HIS birthday party? Besides that your friend may think you are trying to put the attention away from her daughter.

Instead, teach your son about the joy of gift-giving! Have him go out with you to buy the present for the little girl and explain that he is giving her this gift because they are friends. I think he will take it a lot better if he hands over the gift himself, and sees how happy his friend is. Tell him that everyone has one special day and he should be happy his friend is getting gifts.

You may want to practice once or twice before the party. Have him give you a fake "gift" and make sure he expects nothing but a hug in return.

Answer 4

Well he may not understand but if you give your little guy a gift then all the other children who are there are going to feel left out. The birthday kid gets the presents, now if you want to buy him something after the party that would be all right.

Answer 5

Hi there !! In my opinion I don't think that you should get him anything to open during this party, he might start thinking that every time someone gets something that he's supposed to get something as well. I have a two and a half year old that's been to many parties and I've never gotten him anything to open during them. He's never caused a scene. Although, he likes to try to help open gifts I distract him a little by grabbing some of the birthday paper, handing him a toy or giving him a lollipop. My son loves to watch others open their gifts...especially if he's getting a special treat during it ! It's nice to teach them early on that it's better to give then to receive.

Hope this helps !!!

Answer 6

Is your freind doing party favors? If not perhaps you could gather the names of all the children and volunteer. Then pass them out just a couple of minutes before the gift openings. Make sure you put something good and diverting in your sons. This way you won't teach him to expect a present everytime and your friend and other little kids don't get offended but at the same time he is pleased to have gotten something.

Answer 7

I don't think so. He needs to learn that other people have birthdays too. I think if you get him a present to open at this other kid's birthday, not only will it make the actual birthday girl feel like your kid's stealing her thunder, but the other kids may get upset that they don't have anything. Plus it will spoil your son. Your friends may have some kind of gift bag for the other kids attending, so maybe he'll get something for himself. If he gets upset about his friend getting gifts then it's your responsibility to parent him. Try to make him understand the fun in giving. Maybe he'd like to help you pick out his friend's present. He may be young, but he needs to start learning this lesson.

Answer 8

I don't think so, because then at everyone's birthday, he is going to expect to be getting a present of his own, and I know it's near impossible for a 2 year old to understand, but this isn't about him, it's HER birthday party. He'll understand it soon enough, and I'm sure if he's a good a kid as you say he is, he won't give you too much trouble over it.

Answer 9

You shouldn't because even though he is young you have to make him understand. It would not be fair. Start teaching him right from wrong early. If he causes a scene it will be okay. He is only 2 is what the people will think. Have a good day at the party.

Answer 10

How do you potty train child or teach them their ABC's? Through repetition. Talk about the party and how much fun you and your son are going to have. Make sure to let him know that he will have the same excitement and also receive presents on his birthday, but not on his freinds birthday. That was great that you let him know that he will receive a gift just time. Encourage him to pick out a nice inexpensive gift to giv ethe girl. That way he will understand more through a hands on intervention.

Answer 11

i have friends who did that
they always gave all the kids presents on other peoples birthdays
now the kids are snotty and always expect to get gifts and get upset when they dont

my daughter is 2 and i dont get her presents at other peoples parties and she's fine with that
she's gotten to help open and always on her own gives them to the person whose birthday it is

your son is 3 and this is the perfect time to teach him this lesson
kids really do understand and know a lot more than we give them credit for