my brother and i don't speak much. he was forced to choose new wife over our family. she says he doesn't want or need any of us. we've always been close so i find it hard to believe that came from him. i am the only family he has nearby. all others are hours away. (they visit alot) he does speak to us if he sees us around town and all is good then and so is out of town holidays. they met one year after he moved up here with me in my house and got married months later. they met in a bar. problem i need help with is....today is his birthday. she and bar owner are having a surprise party for him where they met (they do not attend this bar anymore. ever. i do tho-another long story.) her and bar owner (my friend) made guest list. my family was included on the list. however none of us received the invite she was supposed to send. should our family attend this party for him or not? she doesn't know we know about it since she did not send our invites. she is not paying. owner is.
2007-03-27 10:07:56 · 12 answers · asked by jezbnme 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds like the sis n law is the one with the problem...and your brother just hasn't figured out how to deal with this "issue" whatever it is, with his new wifey!! Give him time, he will, one way or another! Back to the issue at hand...if your on the guest list, but she "convienently" forgot to mail your invitations...it seems like she's trying to pull a fast one...and then turn it around on you when you don't show up and his feelings are hurt! I most definately would go...turn the tables on her and show her that blood runs thick in your family...don't try to stir up a fight, but it'll shock her when you're there! She deserves it! And she'll figure out that she's not smart enough to drive a steak between family when they're close...because it's impossible! Have fun tonight! PS...be sure to thank your sis in law personally for the invite!!!
2007-03-27 10:38:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go. What's gonna happen? A fight? I think not. She should know better. If you were originally on the guest list and your bar owner friend let you know that you were supposed to be invited then I say go. Sadly this happens a lot. I have seen it, where people are expected to choose either the one they are with or the ones that have been there for them their whole life. It's not the same thing; apples and oranges if you will. Your brother should have family nearby him on this day. It could make him feel low if you are not, even if he had no idea that you were on the list to begin with. You will never know. Go. Good luck!
2007-03-27 17:17:56 · answer #2 · answered by ESTamez 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I wouldn't go, you're not invited. Throw him your own party like the day before. haha
No but really, if he has a bad attitude toward the family, just leave him alone. You know how they say that blood is thicker than water? well that is true but Love is thicker than Blood. Unfortunately sometimes people choose love over family whether it is wrong or right.
Also i have a little saying myself, it is: "The one who makes them choose is the one who's gonna loose"
If you love him unconditionaly then eventually he should come arround. Never talk bad about her, even if she is pure evil, love her like your own sister. Maybe even she'll turn arround.
Trust me with this, my mother in law is terrible sometimes and in the past my husband didn't believe me. I learned that if i just stayed out of drama and treated her super kind no matter what she did to me, then my husband would see my side. If you act up they just think you are the *****! And now he's seen her true colors and sees that i was right.
2007-03-27 17:26:05 · answer #3 · answered by Mesha 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Do not go to the party. Your SIL had no intention of sending you and your family invitations. Your brother willingly does whatever his wife says. You know who wears the pants in that relationship and it's not him. Send him a gift though, send him a pair of pants.
2007-03-27 17:17:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go, it's your brothers birthday. Walk up and give her a peck on the cheek and tell her how lovely it is to see her, hug your brother and tell him happy birthday and then just concentrate on the fact that it's his special day and she doesn't matter at the moment. All will be fine, she will not want to paint herself a villainess in front of the friends that they share by being rude to his family in public.
2007-03-27 18:21:35 · answer #5 · answered by stephyhall 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Go to the party. Enjoy your brother all you want. IF your brother is the one to tell you to leave or stay away, that is the only time you are obligated to avoid him. If it's just the SIL, then ignore her. He's your brother. Take your cues from him.
2007-03-27 17:47:28 · answer #6 · answered by SayWhat? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would go. Don't act weird around her just be there for your brother. He deserves to have his family around him. If he has a problem with you guys being there then he will say something...my guess is he is oblivious to most of what is going on. Just go and support your brother.
2007-03-27 17:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by camsgirlie 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would go to the party as his sister, not his wife's in-law. It is his birthday you are celebrating and not hers. What she says is different from what your brother thinks and being that you were close prior to this marriage, I am sure he would only be too happy to see you.
Best,
G
2007-03-27 18:42:26 · answer #8 · answered by Georgina 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would....just show up so that it can knock her socks off!! If she makes a big fuss about you all showing up, don't argue w/ them, just let your brother know that you love him and that is why you came and leave it at that. I PROMISE if there is no fuss when you are not welcomed, that is somthing that he will think about and will sit on his mind.
2007-03-27 17:17:15 · answer #9 · answered by mzebonyquen 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
i think you should go for your brother. family will always be there for you and girlfriend,wifes, boyfriends and husbands can come and go. if you go i wouldnt leave just because she says i would wait and hear it from your brother
2007-03-27 17:24:40 · answer #10 · answered by moonshadow45001 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋