they won't really be seeing much of me except when we go in and out of the house,i only met his parents one time when i stayed there for 3 days, they told me i was welcome back whenever. but i feel like its rude to stay 2 weeks...my boyfriend hasn't told them how long im planning on staying because he says since they never asked they dont care, do you think that is true? and do you think it is rude to stay for 2 weeks?
p.s --my boyfriend is 22 (moved back in with his parents 3 months ago)
2007-03-27 10:05:00 · 10 answers · asked by beautiful 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
It would be rude to not tell them the lenght of your stay. Sit down and talk to them and see if it is ok. I am sure they will not have a problem. Make sure you clean up after yourself and it would be nice if you made dinner a couple of times or maybe get them a nice thank you present.
2007-03-27 10:13:26 · answer #1 · answered by Asian Mami 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
2 weeks is a little long, what is the reason you would be staying for 2 weeks? (long distance relationship, a move, or you just want to)
it is his parents home, but he does live there too. if the reason for the need to stay for 2 weeks is a good one, i might call his mom, say that he invited you to the home for 2 weeks, but, you wanted to be sure it was alright. i would also go out of my way to be a polite guest. i might pick up a few things at the store (dessert, wine, etc.) more than once. help out with cooking and dishes.
if the need is merely just for a visit, i would change it from your boyfriend's parents house to your house if it is possible.
2007-03-27 11:54:22 · answer #2 · answered by sherman supporter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is, unless THEY invite you. It's their home, and they have every right to know who is planning on staying there and for how long. Don't take your boyfriend's word for it, either---just because he says they won't care doesn't mean that they won't.
You should refuse this visit until one of the parents issues the invitation--that way it'll be perfectly clear how long you are staying and you'll be certain that you're welcome.
Having company for 2 weeks is a drain on anyone. Assuming it's ok just because they haven't said anything is childish.
2007-03-27 10:47:10 · answer #3 · answered by Daisy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"...my boyfriend hasn't told them how long im planning on staying because he says since they never asked they dont care,..."
Red flags all over the place on this one. Boyfriend needs to suck it up and tell parents that he's invited you for a two-week stay, and you need to tell boyfriend that the visit is off unless he tells parents and they, personally, extend the hospitality to you.
It's a HUGE leap from being a guest for three days to being a guest for two weeks. Boyfriend may be well-meaning, but clueless about the stress he's placing on his parents. (What was he planning on doing? Waiting until you show up, suitcase in hand, and are standing at the door before he springs it on his parents you're going to be there for the next two weeks? What kind of position does that put them in? Is that a very considerate thing to do?)
Personally, too, I'd be inclined to take a good hard look at a boyfriend who at the age of 22 moved back in with his parents and who invites his girlfriend to come for a two-week stay without getting clearance to do so. This smacks of someone who has either no sense of boundaries and no consideration for others, or a sense of entitlement so huge it obscures all other considerations. I would infer, since you say that his parents "..won't really be seeing much of me except when we go in and out of the house..." that your boyfriend doesn't have a job. So who is going to pay to feed you? If you're going to be outside the house, who is paying for gas for your car and any costs for your entertainment?
I dunno, if it were me, I'd be looking at boyfriend at this point and thinking to myself that this is not someone I'd want to be around, because sooner or later I'd end up on the receiving end of his cluelessness or lack of consideration. JMO.
2007-03-27 11:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by Karin C 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Two weeks is a long time. I would check with the parents before setting a foot in the house. Your boyfriend may live there, but it is their space.
Didn't ask and don't care are not necessarily true, be sure and check directly with them.
2007-03-29 06:49:17 · answer #5 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
To be perfectly blunt, I don't think you had any business staying for those 3 days and now you are intending to stay for 2 weeks. Where are your manners? If the parents speak directly to you and invite you to stay, then by all means--stay. Even though the son lives with them, it's not his house. Even if he has his own room, it's still not his house. I suggest you stay in a motel. I have a son and daughter older than your boyfriend and they know my house is not a hangout, nor is it a motel. Even if they had a spouse, I'd be offended if they decided on their own to stay in my house. Bottom line, you don't invade someone's space unless, they themselves invite you.
2007-03-27 10:21:01 · answer #6 · answered by Call Me Babs 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i dont think so, but to live with parents with girlfriend, naw would rather be independent, for two weeks not really rude, and it depends on family if i should dee dee or stay for for two weeks.
2007-03-27 10:17:59 · answer #7 · answered by Steven W 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes!! it is very rude. you are talking about a 2 week stay, that they are unaware of, in THEIR home, not his. Had they invited you it would be ok, but they didnt.
2007-03-27 10:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by fordguy_351 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
2 weeks is a long time. i think it is best for you or him to ask/tell them ahead of time. They would be more irritated if they didnt know ahead of time
2007-03-27 10:14:29 · answer #9 · answered by Thomas 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not at all. Just be the perfect guest.
2007-03-31 08:24:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋