How the heck do other single moms make it???

Question

I have three kids, I get VERY little to no child support each month, I live with my mom but NEED to move but cant afford rent, there is no housing available at the time in my area (waiting list of 5 years and waiting list is closed), worked full-time but couldnt afford child care for all three so I had to quit, cant get welfare because of the tiny amount of child support I get. FRUSTRATED UP TO HERE!!! How do women do it??? I hear of all these successful female business owners but have never personally met one. Any advice would be appreciated. The only talent I have is writing and that doesnt pay a whole lot.

I have freelanced for newspapers, I have written a couple books for children ( I haven't tried to get them published yet - too busy :) and I just started a novel.

For "Junior" I was married for 9 years and he left for someone else - you should try not to be so rude to people who are obviously in a dilemna and asking for help.

Sorry to jump the gun Junior...I read something out of context. Thanks for your answer

Answer 1

I'm a divorced mom and I lost everything. EVERYTHING. But every year I'm doing a little better than the year before.

I thought online schools were a joke, because I was computor illiterate. When I found out it was a legitment way to get a degree, I got an old computor for about a $100. I went to the J.C. and got some counseling, they showed me how to aply for financial aid and I've been taking online classes for 2 semesters. I am majoring in Health Insurance Management. Basically it's a combination of medical coding and billing and a little more. No, I have no great desire to do this, but I consider this a stepping stone to get me to the next level. And then the next. And on and on.

YOU CAN DO IT.

As far as your mom goes, just realize you have to do what you can to survive. Stay there and before you know it, you'll be out of there.

You might remind your mother that she might want to be nice to you, because you're the one who's going to be picking her nursing home. Also, if you can't take care of yourself, if she were to become ill, you wouldn't be able to take care of her. It might be in her best interest to help you, so later in life you can help her.

GOOD LUCK , YOU CAN AND YOU WILL DO IT!

Answer 2

I will give you some suggestions but first I want you to realize what you wrote... you get little to no child support, yet you can't get welfare because you get TOO much child support? Okay, now, depending on how much the father of your children makes at his job and how long he has had this job you can have your child support reviewed and changed. This will require you to take him back to court. I don't suggest you do this if he has changed jobs and makes LESS than what he made when it was determined originally. If he is failing to pay his support and the County Welfare office is going on what he SHOULD be paying, they may help you take him back to court and have his salary garnished or even possible jail time for not paying. Have you thought about going back to school? I know that sounds crazy, but some schools not only help you find housing, they also help you find affordable child care and you can apply for certain pell grants and scholarships for moms that give you money to pay for stuff like, rent, food, child care etc. and you can schedule your classes were you only go a few hours a day all week or several full days and most of the week off to be with your kids.
Now do you NEED to move because your mom wants you out or because you can't live under the ruling thumb of your mom? If she doesn't mind you being there, then stick it out, save back as much as you can, but still help her with some bills if possible and then make baby steps into you independence. If you are a caring, upstanding, not lazy women who had these children in a loving relationship that went sour later, you will survive. If you are a woman who couldn't keep her legs closed and kept popping out children like gumballs and you don't want to work or at least improve your existance as well as give your children a loving home, then I can't help you.
Some very good people just seem to get the raw end of the deal while they dirty rotten ones live high on the hog. So, if you are truly wanting to get out and live your life to the fullest and give your children all they need, GO FOR IT! But if you want to mooch for the rest of your life and live off others, I pity you. But for goodness sake, I will believe the first one, you are probably a very nice woman who has been given a bad deal. Good luck!

Answer 3

GO TO SCHOOL! I am in a very similar situation and I feel your pain. One of the things you can do is go to a community college and get a 2 year degree in something like nursing or business, or computers something that will give you a skill that you can work with. With 3 kids the government will pay for your schooling to give you a chance to get your life together. You may also want to look at moving I don't know where you live but some places have a lower standard of living and available government housing. I know it is hard but don't give up I live in subsidized housing and work in child care while I am going to college to become a RN. I have hope now because I know that soon I will be able to not only provide but live well so Please for your own sake look into getting some training.

Answer 4

I have been a single mum for 7 years. Personally I prefer it this way. The father sees the kids and pays child support. I don't know how what to tell you except good things can happen. I have one school aged child and two kids under 3. I work full time and earn over 50k a year. I started at the bottom and worked my way up the ladder in retail.
I wish I could tell you it gets easier but it doesn't.
Good Luck I hope things get better.

Answer 5

It is very frustrating i know. I was a single mom of two for many years. I still look back and wonder how i did it. I guess your best bet, and i know this may not be an option for you, is to try to find a good paying job, hard to find but they are out there. If your parents don't mind, just keep staying with them until you put can put some money away. Something will open up. And one day you will get lucky and Mr. Right will come sweep you off your feet! Its hard to keep swimming I know. But you can do it. and on your really bad days, let your kids pick you up. I do have faith in you! All 4 of you will make it.

Answer 6

Im sorry that your in this situation. It wont be easy but you can do it, my mother did it. Do some reasearch on the internet about becoming a medical claims or billings worker.YOu can do training over the internet or you could do it through the mail, it takes about 5 months but when you finish you could get a job working for a doc office or hospital preparing medical document from your home, i think every friday your gather your weekly document and take them to the office and collect next weeks work. My mom worked for a doctor who employed a lady who did that type of work. Shes doing great for her and her kids and is able to stand alone. Starting pay is around $40,000 and year and with experience you can earn more. Look into! U stay home with your kids and make great money. They even talked about this on Good Morning America.

Answer 7

My God I glad you are still hanging in there. I can not tell you that I know what your feel because I don't. I get very little child support but my boyfriend help with his child and my first born. I have a part-time job and is able to get child care. It took a lot to get where I am now. At first I had giving up but I relocated and found low income housing. My soon to be mother in law own a daycare. Keep your head up and continuing to look. You kids will be proud of you no matter what because you are always there for them. I know it will be looking up for you soon. God's grace and mercy will always be there. You have such a big blessing coming you way just hold on.

Answer 8

I am one of the "successful" women you speak of. I was married at 21 and divorced at 23 and the only good thing to come out of the marriage was my daughter {I was a single mom for 12 yrs}. Her father and I divorced just after she turned a yr old. However the way I made it was I had my daughter AFTER I graduated with my Masters in Psychology. My daughters childsupport due to her illness didnt cover her co-pays for medication let alone co-pays for dr visits and medical supplies. I do have a friend who started college with me got pregnant and had to move in with her mom after her husband left. So I can understand where you are coming from saying you cant afford childcare and cant get welfair, but cant afford to move out. Have you considered taking a night job and asking your mother to keep eye on your kids while you work? Then atleast youd have some of your own money you could save and hopefully move out.

Answer 9

well you have a cpu. so why not go to college online. get your degree find a job make some money then get into your own home and live on from there. it will work the only thing that is stopping you from getting what you want is you. so go. now. look online and find a good school. www.pennfoster.com is a good place to start. good luck and don't give up you have three little ones who need you.

Answer 10

Try getting a job like sales rep. or something. Something that allows you to stay at home. By the way, what kind of writing do you do? Just wondering.