My live-in gf of 2 years were having problems these past months. She's been going out alot rather than spending any time with me. We got into a huge fight and I basically told her to move out. After we calmed down, she told me that she loves me but don't think that she's capable of being in love with me. The problem is that we still share the same apartment, and every time she sees me, she cries. She says she's selfish and she's sorry for how things turned out. I asked her if she knew what she wants, and she says no. I kinda understand given she's young (21). I love her with all my heart, but I can't keep this relationship if she doesn't feel the same way. At the same time, in the back of my mind, I'm still hoping that she's going to change her mind. It's painful to be without her. Am I a fool? Should I wait?
2007-03-27 09:53:10 · 7 answers · asked by wc007 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks for all the advice. I guess I already knew what to do, but wanted people to talk me out of it. I'll let go.
2007-03-27 12:47:18 · update #1
No, your not a fool. It is great that you care about her and it is obvious that you want to maintain the relationship. However, by her being honest now allow the two of you to make some important decisions now instead of wasting precious years. Maybe, her age does play a great part in the way she is feeling. She may feel trapped right now and need to experience life before slowing into an everday pattern. If you really love her let her know that you understand and are willing to support her decision. Now you must move on with your life. I don't mean that you have to rush out and replace her but you need to start distancing yourself from the relationship whether you live together or not. Start a new hobby or sport to replace the time normally spent with her. Believe it or not the time apart may prove to bring out her true feelings after all.
2007-03-27 10:01:15 · answer #1 · answered by Felisha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way you are gonna make her face up and decide on what it is she wants is for you to let her know that she needs to decide once and for all, does she love you or doesn't she? Tell her just what you told us, that you love her but that you cannot continue if she does not feel the same way. You need to be ready to accept the decision she makes. If her decision is to let you go, then back up your words and accept this or you run the risk of her not taking you serious and therefore she will continue to be wishy washy on her feelings for you. The thing here is not to let her continue to play on your emotions. You deserve to know where you stand, not for her to just keep you hanging on with false hope.. My guess is that once she sees that you will not accept her being indecisive, that she will come your way. Just a guess. Best of luck to you!
2007-03-27 17:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont think you can ever change the fact that shes not in love with you...i mean ther is a diffrence...but given the fact that you love her..i would wait a while. but just so you know, if shes the one going out and partying and your the one who wants to spend quality time...you deserve so much better...
2007-03-27 16:59:00 · answer #3 · answered by .lovely. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand where you are comming from, cuz when i first told my boyfriend that i was in love with him he couldnt tell me that he loved me and it was really painful, and it made me question whether i should still be with him if he didnt love me like i loved him, and i ended up thinking that it would be best if we stayed together and i should give him some time, yes i know your situation is different, but give her some time maybe she will come around or if she doesnt then maybe this is one of those life experiences that you need to learn.
2007-03-27 17:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Ashley♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She doesn't want to be with you anymore, but she feels bad for hurting you. The idea of leaving you and starting over is scarey for her because you are her safety and security. You do deserve someone that will truly love you, so let her go. It will be hard and painful, but you will be okay.
2007-03-27 16:58:52 · answer #5 · answered by Terri Klapperich 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
let her go. if the two of you get too comfortable with mediocre, and decide later that its not good enough, it will hurt a lot more. don't wait. it could be that space is really what you both need anyway, but be prepared for it to really just be over. you should be with someone who is just as crazy about you as you are for her.
2007-03-27 17:10:13 · answer #6 · answered by mbleh 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let her go, she is 21. she needs to live alittle before taking things seriously and thats OK. she needs to get her selfish phase out of her system before she can take anyone serious.
2007-03-27 17:01:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋