I have been with my man for 6 months, he is my soul mate I know this and I am his we equal each other. There is a long term relationship that we shear it is like we have been together for years. Well I know deep down he wants to ask me to marry him he has mad many hints. But I know he is really scarred because he thinks he failed his first marriage because his wife cheated and he is afraid of failing another marriage. When confronted how he felt about the whole marriage thing he simply said that we did not need a piece of paper to show commitment?? I am not happy with that I want to hang on to him forever he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know the way things are between us, the future plans we have that this is a lasting relationship but I want that reassurance that it is me he is dedicated to. Please help another thing is i have 3 kids from my first marriage and he has 2 and we all work as a great team it is hard to put in such small words but we all clic
2007-03-27 09:50:28 · 18 answers · asked by KEL971 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
First of all... if you really are soulmates, it will happen when the time is just right. Ultimatums only weaken the relationship, so DON'T DO THAT! Secondly, 6 months is a short time and hardly a long enough waiting period for 2 people who both have kids from previous relationships. You need to think about the kids too. Let them all adjust to new relationships and/or living conditions.
Now for the real answer. If you both know you were meant to be together and he is hesitant because of a failed first marriage, you need to confront him and his feelings and express yours. If it's just a timing thing or uncertainty about how or when... then inlist one of your friends to help him along. Suggest rings and special places to your friend to pass along to him casually.
Best of luck!
2007-03-27 11:08:13 · answer #1 · answered by naliwad 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its only been 6 months. You need to understand that marriage to him is going to take a lot since he's had one fail already. Give him more time to learn that you're not like his ex-wife. Time to re-establish his self confidence. Keep hinting that you'd like to be married, and that you feel it's the right step for you both. Sometime in the future sit him down and explain to him that to you marriage isn't about the paper or the insurance benefits, but to you to proves a level of loyalty and dedication. That the vows are vastly more important than the ceremony. Just try not to be so frustrated that he cannot work at the same speed as you in this department. He has to get over his fear first before he can commit to marriage again.
2007-03-27 16:59:30 · answer #2 · answered by b0red2tears 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Anytime you're pushing a man to marry you it's either 1. You're desperate or 2 you're not giving it at least a year to see if he's actually the one. You may feel like you've been together for years, but you will scare your man off talking about marriage right now. Let him approach you with a proposal since he's been through failed marriage he doesnt want to make the same mistake twice in marriage #2 usually people that mess up after a second attempt at marriage usually don't remarry. Be patient and it will come to you 10 fold.
2007-03-27 17:46:11 · answer #3 · answered by nabdullah2001 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you guys even started arguing yet? You don't get married when you're in love, you get married when you've been through hard times and you still stuck together, and you know you still love each other. Why rush marraige? It's only been 6 months, give it some time. If you believe you were meant to be together, then you will still be together a year from now, and 5 years from now. You don't need a piece of paper for that. Give it some time. He is still hurting from his last relationship. Let him know he can trust you. It's going to take some time, just be patient and all good things will come. And by patient I don't mean 6 months later.
2007-03-27 17:02:58 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've only been together six months. Still, you're both adults and no one lives forever. I was with my man for about five years when I proposed to him. His answer: "Really?" I wanted to say: "No, just kidding." But instead I said yes and he said yes and our 2nd anniversary is this coming May. I knew it was the right time in our lives and that we were going to be together whether he proposed or I did. It seems to me that the main factor in your situation is time. He needs some time to reflect and contemplate the future. Suggest that he takes his two kids on a mini vacation some weekend. Let them discuss his relationship with you, their relationship with you, and their relationships with your children in a private and safe environment. That will also give you an opportunity to discuss life with your children. He may just come back with a suprise. If you're old fashioned about the romantic proposal, then just let him plan your future on his terms. No pressure. Just relax and hope for a nice suprise!
2007-03-27 17:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by misty_bowman013 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You need to be honest with this man about your feelings of committment, that the little piece of paper is important to you and you would like to formalize things. Tell him how much more secure the ceremony would make all your children feel about the family, and that you could include them also. The Brady Bunch did it...
2007-03-27 16:55:24 · answer #6 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to discover other things and no offense but being less clingy helps a lot, just let it be. 6 months is still not long enough, it takes a long time to get to know someone. take it slow. Best wishes.
2007-03-27 16:58:52 · answer #7 · answered by You are loved 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
either you do the proposing or give him more time. He still feels burned and guys take longer to be ready for permenancy. my husband and i dated for nearly 2 years and were engaged for another year before getting married. Being too pushy just might scare him off.
2007-03-27 17:08:25 · answer #8 · answered by Panda 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he your soul mate wait . what is your hurry?.......I waited for mine to pop the question for 4 yrs.if he really is your soul mate things will work out for both of you. Or you can talk to him about it. Ask him if he ever wants to get married again. Tell him that you do want to get married. The best way is to talk about everything.......hope I helped!!Good luck!!!!!
2007-03-27 18:21:46 · answer #9 · answered by moonlightstar1004 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't make someone propose to you. He needs to do it himself. But I would throw hints just to let him know that you love him and the man he is and you want to be with him forever. That's all you can do
2007-03-27 16:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by The girl next door 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋