Please read this all before you answer! I have a GF that her, and I have been together for 2 yrs. I made the mistake of cheating on her with my roomate about a year ago. Ever since then the roomate and I continue to live together because I am not stable enough to get out on my own and my relitives live too far away for her, & I to see each other on a regular bases if I were to go live over there. She brings up the past ALL THE TIME, and talks to her friendswhich says she needs to break up with me. I know it was a mistake and I am lucky to continue to have her, but all at the same time I cannot deal with the past being thrown at me all the time. What should I do?????
2007-03-27 09:46:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Maybe its time to break up. if she keeps bringing it up its a sign shes hurt and you sound hurt too. maybe just distance yourself for a bit and think about things
2007-03-27 09:51:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to have this conversation with her, saying exactly what you said here. If in the end she comes to realize or you that this can't be erased, well, maybe it is time to assume your mistake and move on.
you can't live like this it is true, either she stays with you and stops mentioning this past or else she can't get over it (which I would totally understand between us) and then she leaves.
But you won't be able to go forward in your relationship with the current situation.
And by the way, staying with this roomate was the dumbest ever, even if you can't get out on your own, this was your mistake and you ought to have moved out and find another roomate after whwat you did.
Keep in mind that your gf is pretty kind to have tolerated not only that you cheated on her but that you actually after it continued sharing the same apt with the girl you cheated on your gf with!
Anyway, good luck with this!
2007-03-27 16:54:57 · answer #2 · answered by cb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's talking about the past because 1) she can't get over it and 2) she is using it to her advantage - it's somehow serving her.
Ask her what she needs you to do so that it's not an issue anymore - counseling, accountability, etc.- and then do it. If she continues to bring up the past after you've done what she asked, then tell her you can't be with her anymore because she has an unhealthy obsession and you did what she asked you to do.
Also, you should probably look at fortifying your own ego so that if temptation came up again, you wouldn't be tempted.
Good luck. I know this is hard, but people go through stuff like this all the time. You'll make it.
2007-03-27 16:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by headshrinker 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want your relationship to go farther! try to get your life together so you would be able to move out from living with your roomate. Then this might show your girlfriend that you dont want anything to do with your roomate. (being more than friends). maybe you should tell her that you knew it was wrong to cheat on her with your roomate and that you would like to forget it. then after you say this. maybe it will make her stop bringing it up because her talking about the mistake would burt your relationship.
2007-03-27 16:53:50 · answer #4 · answered by [rawr] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well it depends on how much you like her and if she really likes you then she will stop bringing that up and i trhink you need to have a conversation with her and straight up tell her that you no you are lucky to still be together and tell her you know you made a mistake but it has been a year now and she should trust you now and just tell her how you feel if she likes yout alot then she'll forget about the past because it's wrong of her to hold that against you all the time.
2007-03-27 16:54:49 · answer #5 · answered by MiiSy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it might be best if you broke up. It's really hard to trust a person after they cheat, and obviously even harder if you're still living with the person. The past will always be thrown back at you, trust me.
2007-03-27 16:52:19 · answer #6 · answered by ♥KP♥MH♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have 3 very easy options.
1. Find a new roommate
2. Find a new place to live
3. Break up with her. She won't stop bringing it up until you do either Option #1 or Option #2
2007-03-27 16:51:36 · answer #7 · answered by tbayxxxv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋