I broke up with my ex bf about 4months ago. We recently made contact with each other and ended up sleeping together. I broke up with him btw because I was afraid to get hurt. He does not want a committment, etc. but agreed to be exclusive with me. I broke up anyway. Now he is casually dating another chic (whom I didn't know about until afterwards) and he has told me that she is leaving in a few months anyway. Here's the question, what does he want from me? Usually when he contacts me, he does not want sex or even to meet up. He usually just wants to say hi. I am so confused. What does he want?? I am the one who initiates the physical part..UGH!! HELP!!!
2007-03-27 09:14:58 · 21 answers · asked by Siren_Cin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
maybe he is lying about not wanting commitment
some guys FEAR it.
try to talk to him. Try to have a good relationship with him without anything physical. See what happens.
2007-03-27 09:20:46 · answer #1 · answered by PrinceEJB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants the door to remain cracked open. You physically shut a door but your heart keeps it open. A lot of men enjoy having the exclusivity of their woman without the heart felt commitment and devotion. He knows that by keeping an open dialog with you keeps him in the door. Men don't mind being used sexually like women do. He really doesn't want anything but by you sleeping with him you are giving him a better arrangement than he bargained for. Not only does he not have to commit but now he doesn't have to be exclusive either.
Just because you broke up doesn't mean that you stop caring. He kept you exclusive for a reason it is up to you to find out why, if that is something you care to know. However, by continuing to sleep with him and converse with him will not get the desired results you want. You are the one keeping this awkward relationship going. Either move on or continue being his side piece. (not trying to be mean but this is the reality)
2007-03-27 16:29:16 · answer #2 · answered by Felisha S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he just wants to be casual. Keeping YOU confused while he goes out and does whatever. But also CHICA, it seems that you are not too sure of what you want either.You need to look within you and ask: Do I really like this guy and is there a future for us, or Is this just about the sex? Make up your mind about what you really want and don't settle. Once you decide on that it should be easier for you to see if this is the guy for you. Good luck ! :)
2007-03-28 10:12:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
* It is a comfort to hold on to you. If he truly loved you he would only want to be with you and wouldn’t play these games. By being able to call you and know you are there for him feeds his ego, and it is masked by his incisiveness, which is really a lack of courage and good character. In short he is using you.
Move on and have a great life. There are better guys that will treat you right... just have to be patent and choose carefully. Be good to yourself and take care. Good luck.
2007-03-27 16:25:11 · answer #4 · answered by Golden Smile 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a guy that no girl should fall in love with him and u did a great thing by breaking up with him so heres what i think you should i think you should do go and talk to him tell him everything that on your mind you dont have anything to loose and he tells you something you dont want to hear tell him to never contact you again and if he does than dont anwear the phone or what ever it seems like he is only brings u something to worry about not something to be happy about
2007-03-27 16:27:01 · answer #5 · answered by Ak 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's confused, sweety. He may even be MORE confused than YOU are! There are obviously lingering feelings that sometimes he feels the need to explore.... but he also wants to maintain his distance.
It's nice of you to have sex with him, but really... that's not helping either one of you figure this out. So unless it's really GREAT sex, and that's all you want and are happy... I'd stay away from him for awhile.
2007-03-27 16:24:26 · answer #6 · answered by Kia A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is not ready to make a comittment, but cares about you a lot and wants to keep a relationship with you.
I think you should keep him and be patient if you really love him. Or if you think he will never be able to commit or you don't want to wait, move on to another bf. When he sees you with someone else he will probably end up regretting it. Either way, good luck and much love.
2007-03-27 16:21:06 · answer #7 · answered by Mr. Luva Luva 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stop letting this guy play his mind games on you.You deserve much better. Hang out with your friends.Plan things that you like to do.Arrange a girl's night out.You will meet someone that is going to
respect and care for you.You just have to get out there.It seems like this guy is just keeping you hanging.Best of luck to you.
2007-03-27 16:26:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that the next time you see him make sure that you are at your best but make yourself seem that you are only intrested in him as a friend. Don't come on to him because he expects you to do that. Let him see that he is not the only person you can get
2007-03-27 16:20:48 · answer #9 · answered by Clear W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ur just an object he uses to stick it into...im sorry but its the truth. if he did love u we would wanna be with u, commit etc....guys dont wanna commit if they havent found the right girl...the gfs they have on the way to finding their perfect match r just 4 whoring around...get rid of him fast and for good this time
2007-03-27 16:22:31 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋